FicWad

Title from "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us" - My Chemical Romance

Mikey didn’t think they ever noticed he was watching them. After they started living in the hotel in New York that only had one bedroom and a couch; almost the same size as the “house” in Jersey, maybe smaller, Mikey slept on the couch alone, the covers over his head in attempts to discourage mosquitoes from using him as their landing pad every night. He wasn’t used to a room with actual windows to the outside. He was jealous of the two. He admitted it, but only in passing unnoticeable conversation. They didn’t seem to realize he really meant it. He was jealous mostly that the two had someone so close to them that they could trust so well. He would stay up at night under the sheets watching them in the dark, his eyes red with guilt. He knew he shouldn’t be envious; it was his brother, but he was and he couldn’t hold it back. It drove him crazy the way Frank’s fingernails scraped down Gerard’s chest as Gerard fucked him, his mouth open and pale skin boiling under his touch, the way Gerard’s slow and firm thrusts pulled moans from Frank, or the way Frank’s chest pushed up against Gerard’s when he came.

“Gerard?”

“Mmm?”

“I… they’re coming aren’t they?”

“… yeah… they are…”

“They’re gonna try and kill us.”

“Yeah, but they’re not going to. Not you. I’ll kill them if they lay a finger on you. Promise.”

Mikey remembered when Gerard would promise things like that to him. He remembered when Gerard would depend on him for affection. There had always been guilt and ashamedness for it. It wasn’t like they’d fucked, but enough to be considered too much for brothers. There was regret, but it never stopped them from being close. Gerard never told Frank and Mikey knew why. He’d been lying when he said Mikey was straight. Incest was both illegal and in most sane people’s minds, repulsive. Frank would most likely think different of Gerard in a negative way if he told him. Secretly, Mikey wished he could be the one drawing the sounds from Frank, he could be the one making Gerard shout his name like that.

I’m disgusting…