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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The power of the elemental

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• The power of the elemental

  (#) Nautilus 2006-11-15

  good stuff... i guess its a bit fast in some places. but nevertheless a good read. i just hope you make Harry take some time to learn all he has too. i think Tonks can help with that.... anyway, update soon.

  Author's response

  That is the purpose for this fic. He will take the time for everything, otherwise he is an elemental, but has no idea how to use it.
  
  The time for learning will come, when the things about his harem will get sorted out, and that will take many chapters.
  
  Then we have manu chapters about his learning his elemental abilities, and there are many other chapters to come.
  
  This story will be very long, maybe 300,000 words or more.
  
  Thanks for the review.
  
  By the way, what exactly to you mean with 'a bit fast'?

• The power of the elemental

  (#) jabarber69 2006-11-15

  Hey interesting story and your right it does have it twists and turns. At the beginning you definitely thru me a curve ball when you let it be know he was dreaming!

  Author's response

  When I wrote that first chapter, I was in such a bad mood, because I started a story, but my cowriter insisted that she would continue. That, after I wrote already more then a half of it.
  
  Then I started with that scene on purpose.
  
  I want to write it slow and easy, buolding the whole thing up for the big splatch.
  
  Wim

• The power of the elemental

  (#) BenRG 2006-11-18

  You need a better beta reader. Dear merciful heaven, you need a better beta reader. The grammar is atrocious here to the point where it actually makes it difficult to understand what you are writing.

• The power of the elemental

  (#) TxA_GunFighter 2007-09-23

  Good chapter.
  
  gunny

• The power of the elemental

  (#) calin_reznor 2009-10-16

  I made it to chapter five before I gave up.
  
  While the premise of the story is interesting, you've moved too fast for it to remain so.
  
  There is no character growth and the characters are so out there you might as well give them original names and make this original fiction.
  
  The girls or Harry for that matter would not be so open with sex right off the bat.
  
  Petunia lusting after Harry is just wrong on so many levels.
  
  Harry has a big penis; we get it, you don't need to mention the size of it repeatedly nor do you need to put in the centimetres and inches.
  
  The permanent erection is also highly improbable, if it were so Harry would be in a lot of agonising pain.
  
  I'm assuming English isn't your first language and while I've seen worse, you definitely need to get someone to read your work before you post it. The grammar and your sentence structure leave a lot to be desired. I'm not perfect at it, but at least what I write is comprehensible. The way some of your sentences are strung together make little to no sense.
  
  With a bit of cleaning up this can be a good read. I hope that the criticism given helps you, it was given in that vein, and not meant as a flame.
  
  Good Luck!
  
  
  
  

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