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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Dark Light Within

Reviews

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) anakhuskerfan 2008-12-23

  Another great chapter, I hope that Tonks and Fleur added to the pairing along with Daphne and Tracey. Can't wait to read more, update soon!!!

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) hptrump 2008-12-23

  Why do so many authors bash Ginny since JKR choose her to be Harry's love. Then so many authors get rid of her with wanting to feed a love potion to Harry. Same old line.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) lysander 2008-12-23

  still think you can add hermione in she wood find away to hellp do you think that she will just leat him walk in to the forst weath out her if she knew

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) ROBERT_1958 2008-12-24

  Harry should be with Daphne, Tracey, Fleur, Gabrielle, and Tonk.
  
  Harry needs to goto Gringotts and have a skills and heritage test run on him, as well check for any magical Blocks and tracking devices on him or his thangs.
  
  Harry needs to get all people and all races and species to help him, as well as Harry helping them with Peace, and Equality between sentients.
  
  Harry needs to get Dobby to help him.
  
  Harry need to kill both Dumbledore and Snape for what they have done to Harry and his fmily.
  
  

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) Cateagle 2008-12-24

  I can see Fleur being added to the mix and perhaps one or two more, who are compatible with the others. I'm certain Dumbles is not going to appreciate Harry's trust vault being absorbed back into the Potter family fortune, nor is he going to appreciate just how much power Harry now has. Meanwhile, things are developing quite nicely with Harry, Daphne, and Tracey and 'twill be interesting to see who else fits. I could possibly see Hermione fitting as she's fairly unbiased for a Gryf. If compatible and willing participants can be found, he probably should have partners from all the Houses to expand his influence.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) mwinter 2008-12-24

  I think 7 is a round, very powerful number. A full coven. You know Daphne, Tracey, Fleur, Tonks, Gabrielle, Luna, and Hermione. Seven witches making a full coven centered on one Wizard, Harry.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) Vanir 2008-12-24

  I just read through the other reviews and want to add my own two knuts. Go Easy On The Harem! It's bloody easy to get carried away, and then you have a bunch of people to keep track of, and reviewers complaining about how their favourites don't get enough screentime and such. Four is a workable number, five is half a phonebook. Take it from an experienced screwer-upper, who's suffering the writer's block from hell because of it.
  Rain: It feels rushed. Sometimes it feels like you are writing a Reader's Digest of your own work. That extra shine isn't so hard to add. Just a little would go a long way. This chapter wasn't so bad, but you did go full-length (by me, anyway,)this time. you could slow it down and paint a fuller picture.
  Sunshine: It's an amusing story, there's enough little twists to make it interesting and i like it when Harry makes teen mistakes. He shouldn't have announced himself to Fumbledore at all. Yes, there's plenty of clichés but i really don't mind. Good plot devices gets repeated, and while they're called clichés after a while, it doesn't change the fact that they are good devices. It's the story version of pasta. The repetitiveness of the love potion staple can easily be mitigated by finding a novel way to deal with it. Ah, that's enough for now. My @ is in my profile.
  Thanks.
  Vanir

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) Slayer89 2008-12-25

  Hi good chapter please only Harry/Daphne/Tracey, Tonks/Fleur

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) MonCappy 2008-12-28

  I think 7 is a round, very powerful number. A full coven. You know Daphne, Tracey, Fleur, Tonks, Gabrielle, Luna, and Hermione. Seven witches making a full coven centered on one Wizard, Harry.
  
  I like this idea with one exception. Gabrielle is a little girl so she should be excluded/ Replace her with one of the female Gryffindor chasers and I would endorse the idea.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) yargew 2009-01-06

  I _like_ it! Please keep it up.
  
  I would echo the caution about going easy on the harem thing. You already have the uberHarry thing going, albeit with an interesting twist. As for pairings, I'm partial to Hermione, but basically, ABG (anyone but Ginny) will do.

  Author's response

  If I was doing a harem story I wouldn't go above seven people, and it would probably fall apart pretty quickly. I don't see Hermione as a love interest for Harry; it seems more of a one shot. I agree with you about Ginny though. How her behavior changes from book two to the end just seems unnatural. She is introduced as a desperately shy girl, unwilling to be in Harry's presence to the love of his life. Where did JKR get that from? Anyway, that's enough complaints from me. I should probably get back to writing the next chapter. Thanks for the review.
  Concealed-Convict

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