That’s the way traumatize him! Good god this story is completely whacked. You and your beta reader need to learn how to spell check. There are a ton of mistakes grammatically speaking. It wouldn’t hurt to slow down, maybe think about what your writing. If you had this marked as humor, I would say you did alright, except for spelling mistakes, but it’s not marked as humor. None of your characters act remotely human.
I mean they don’t even do so much as a double take when they are told they must either marry and have kids, or die in two days. It’s just “Oh right then, see you for tea? No sweat.” It’s ridicules, complete nonsense.
You don’t describe anything that is going on its all.
Harry did this. Then he said that. Then he went here. Then Hermione said this. Later Ginny did that.
It’s stale. Take some time, go back, and work on giving the characters some human emotion. Describe where they are, what they are doing, what they are thinking, what they think the other characters in the story are thinking. What they hope for, what their afraid of.