Categories > Cartoons > Avatar: The Last Airbender > Aftermath
Imbalance
Iroh woke with a start.
For a split second, he wondered why he wasn't in his comfortable bed in his brand new apartment before the cold reality of his situation set in. Wearily, he wiggled his fingers and toes to make sure he still could and wondered when the Dai Li would let him out of his crystal prison. He had an itch on his face that was driving him insane and he had no way of getting to it.
Blowing out a calming breath that also raised the temperature of his cell somewhat, Iroh slowly became aware that there was someone else in there with him. He could barely make out the seated figure in the corner of his eye but it didn't take a stretch of the imagination for him to guess who it was.
"Interesting choice you've made, Prince Zuko," he said conversationally, though his light tone had an edge to it. "I'm a little surprised that Princess Azula hasn't put you up in a more comfortable room or do you simply miss my company?"
Zuko didn't reply and didn't give any indication he heard anything Iroh said.
"I honestly couldn't guess at your reasons for being here because it has become clear to me that I have been of no use to you at all."
A burst of fire shot an inch past Iroh's nose but he didn't even blink.
"Do you know what it's like to lose everything, Uncle?" Zuko spat, his words tumbling out in a rush and all but told Iroh his nephew's state of mind. "All my life I've been promised the world and the moment when I was ready to take it, it was ripped from my hands. These past few months, my honor has been dangled in front of me like some sort of bait, being used to taunt me when it is rightfully mine.
"Do you know what it's like to have a father who always looked down on you and a sister who was always better than you? They both hold out the throne of the Fire Nation towards me, using it like a bargaining chip when it's mine by birthright and making me fight for it every step of the way."
"/Yours/? Is it really yours, Zuko?" Iroh returned. "Think about your words, my nephew, and see past your own troubles and pain. Between the two of us, who do you think has lost everything?"
That stopped Zuko's self-righteous rant. Iroh wished the Prince would move so he could look at him, but Zuko stayed where he was. Instead, Iroh turned his gaze inward, at the things that he wished he could forget, and laid them out for the boy who had made him remember them again.
"If life were fair, Zuko, I would be Fire Lord and this war would have ended long ago. My son would be preparing himself for his ascension and you would be at his side as his loyal councilor. Your father would be standing the sidelines with your sister, waiting for the right moment to make his move, but you would be there, knowing what to look for and knowing how to stop them. Your loyalties would be as strong as your will and to protect the nation that you love, you would protect your leader even if its from your own family. You would be allowed to become the man your mother wanted you to be instead of the twisted, dishonorable fool that your father created."
Zuko's sharp intake of breath was like a knife to Iroh's heart but he hardened it, no longer willing to soften the blows.
"But life isn't fair," he went on. "Instead, here we are. I'm a disgraced general and now traitor twice over. My birthright was stolen from me by my own brother the same time my son was stolen from me by this war. I killed and destroyed for a nation that has now turned its back on me. I was angry once, too, Zuko. That, you don't remember. I never hated anyone as much as I hate your father and it wouldn't have taken much for me to strike him down. Believe me, I could have, and plunged the Fire Nation into chaos because I was in no shape to be a leader then, but I found hope in you.
"I looked at you and saw a boy who could become the kind of Fire Lord that the people needed; a man who could lead them down the right path and I thought that maybe I could make a difference this way. I've been wrong in the past and it seems I can be wrong in the present, as well."
Iroh closed his eyes as Zuko moved to sit in front of him. Hot, angry tears trailed down Iroh's cheeks but he made no sound and he refused to look at his nephew. He couldn't.
"Uncle," Zuko said quietly. "I have to do this. You told me that I could make my own destiny and I choose my place in the Fire Nation. You might have been able to choose the Avatar over it, but I can't. Not now. You have had the chance to serve the Fire Nation and have experience all its highs and lows so you can make your decision. I can't. I'm not ready to turn my back on my homeland.
"Before all this, I simply allowed my father and Azula to lead me around by the nose but this time I choose to play their game and because I have, I'm going to win it. Leaders have to make difficult decisions and today I made one of the most difficult ones I've ever had to make. Right now, I'm protecting the nation I love by protecting its leader...even if it's from my own family."
Iroh's eyes flew open and he stared into a face that was tight with inner turmoil...and fear. Sweat beaded Zuko's skin and even in the dim light of the cell, Iroh could see that he was not feeling well. He hated that he found some satisfaction in that.
"I didn't want to betray you," Zuko explained. "I respect you and am grateful for all that you've done for me, Uncle. Please don't think that I don't, but I have to do this. This is my path and always has been, even though you tried to show me a new one. I would never have been happy in Ba Sing Se for very long but I tried, I really did and I did it for you. But it wouldn't have been enough. There's an imbalance inside of me that I need to fix and this time, I need to do it on my own. Without you. I can't walk down your path but I will make a new one that might be somewhere in the middle of what you want and what my father wants."
With two fingers, Zuko burned a line across the crystals holding Iroh. The crystal crumbled away from the older man and he straightened, stretching his aching muscles.
"I know you're going to join the Avatar," Zuko said, standing and facing him. "I won't go after you. The next time we meet, it will be on the opposite sides of a battlefield."
Iroh looked up at his nephew's young face, at the scar that was illuminated by the single shaft of light coming in through the cell door. He stood tall even though it was clear it was taking an enormous amount of will to meet his uncle's frank gaze but pride would not let him back down one bit. Zuko reminded Iroh of Ursa then and the ice around his heart melted a little. Perhaps Zuko had learned something after all and even though he had chosen a different way, Iroh could not find fault with his reasons for doing so.
He just wished it didn't have to be this way.
With a gentleness that he didn't have to feign, Iroh put a hand on that mark that his brother had given his firstborn son.
"I will never fight you, Zuko," he said quietly but firmly. "But I hope that the next time we meet, you will have found your balance."
Head bowed low, Iroh walked past his nephew and opened the door to his cell.
"Oh, and watch your back with Azula," Iroh warned, pausing at the doorway.
"I know, Uncle," Zuko said. "Azula always lies."
Iroh nodded and without a backwards glance, he made his way down the corridor. A part of him waited for Zuko's footsteps to start coming after him...
...but they never did.
-fin-
Iroh woke with a start.
For a split second, he wondered why he wasn't in his comfortable bed in his brand new apartment before the cold reality of his situation set in. Wearily, he wiggled his fingers and toes to make sure he still could and wondered when the Dai Li would let him out of his crystal prison. He had an itch on his face that was driving him insane and he had no way of getting to it.
Blowing out a calming breath that also raised the temperature of his cell somewhat, Iroh slowly became aware that there was someone else in there with him. He could barely make out the seated figure in the corner of his eye but it didn't take a stretch of the imagination for him to guess who it was.
"Interesting choice you've made, Prince Zuko," he said conversationally, though his light tone had an edge to it. "I'm a little surprised that Princess Azula hasn't put you up in a more comfortable room or do you simply miss my company?"
Zuko didn't reply and didn't give any indication he heard anything Iroh said.
"I honestly couldn't guess at your reasons for being here because it has become clear to me that I have been of no use to you at all."
A burst of fire shot an inch past Iroh's nose but he didn't even blink.
"Do you know what it's like to lose everything, Uncle?" Zuko spat, his words tumbling out in a rush and all but told Iroh his nephew's state of mind. "All my life I've been promised the world and the moment when I was ready to take it, it was ripped from my hands. These past few months, my honor has been dangled in front of me like some sort of bait, being used to taunt me when it is rightfully mine.
"Do you know what it's like to have a father who always looked down on you and a sister who was always better than you? They both hold out the throne of the Fire Nation towards me, using it like a bargaining chip when it's mine by birthright and making me fight for it every step of the way."
"/Yours/? Is it really yours, Zuko?" Iroh returned. "Think about your words, my nephew, and see past your own troubles and pain. Between the two of us, who do you think has lost everything?"
That stopped Zuko's self-righteous rant. Iroh wished the Prince would move so he could look at him, but Zuko stayed where he was. Instead, Iroh turned his gaze inward, at the things that he wished he could forget, and laid them out for the boy who had made him remember them again.
"If life were fair, Zuko, I would be Fire Lord and this war would have ended long ago. My son would be preparing himself for his ascension and you would be at his side as his loyal councilor. Your father would be standing the sidelines with your sister, waiting for the right moment to make his move, but you would be there, knowing what to look for and knowing how to stop them. Your loyalties would be as strong as your will and to protect the nation that you love, you would protect your leader even if its from your own family. You would be allowed to become the man your mother wanted you to be instead of the twisted, dishonorable fool that your father created."
Zuko's sharp intake of breath was like a knife to Iroh's heart but he hardened it, no longer willing to soften the blows.
"But life isn't fair," he went on. "Instead, here we are. I'm a disgraced general and now traitor twice over. My birthright was stolen from me by my own brother the same time my son was stolen from me by this war. I killed and destroyed for a nation that has now turned its back on me. I was angry once, too, Zuko. That, you don't remember. I never hated anyone as much as I hate your father and it wouldn't have taken much for me to strike him down. Believe me, I could have, and plunged the Fire Nation into chaos because I was in no shape to be a leader then, but I found hope in you.
"I looked at you and saw a boy who could become the kind of Fire Lord that the people needed; a man who could lead them down the right path and I thought that maybe I could make a difference this way. I've been wrong in the past and it seems I can be wrong in the present, as well."
Iroh closed his eyes as Zuko moved to sit in front of him. Hot, angry tears trailed down Iroh's cheeks but he made no sound and he refused to look at his nephew. He couldn't.
"Uncle," Zuko said quietly. "I have to do this. You told me that I could make my own destiny and I choose my place in the Fire Nation. You might have been able to choose the Avatar over it, but I can't. Not now. You have had the chance to serve the Fire Nation and have experience all its highs and lows so you can make your decision. I can't. I'm not ready to turn my back on my homeland.
"Before all this, I simply allowed my father and Azula to lead me around by the nose but this time I choose to play their game and because I have, I'm going to win it. Leaders have to make difficult decisions and today I made one of the most difficult ones I've ever had to make. Right now, I'm protecting the nation I love by protecting its leader...even if it's from my own family."
Iroh's eyes flew open and he stared into a face that was tight with inner turmoil...and fear. Sweat beaded Zuko's skin and even in the dim light of the cell, Iroh could see that he was not feeling well. He hated that he found some satisfaction in that.
"I didn't want to betray you," Zuko explained. "I respect you and am grateful for all that you've done for me, Uncle. Please don't think that I don't, but I have to do this. This is my path and always has been, even though you tried to show me a new one. I would never have been happy in Ba Sing Se for very long but I tried, I really did and I did it for you. But it wouldn't have been enough. There's an imbalance inside of me that I need to fix and this time, I need to do it on my own. Without you. I can't walk down your path but I will make a new one that might be somewhere in the middle of what you want and what my father wants."
With two fingers, Zuko burned a line across the crystals holding Iroh. The crystal crumbled away from the older man and he straightened, stretching his aching muscles.
"I know you're going to join the Avatar," Zuko said, standing and facing him. "I won't go after you. The next time we meet, it will be on the opposite sides of a battlefield."
Iroh looked up at his nephew's young face, at the scar that was illuminated by the single shaft of light coming in through the cell door. He stood tall even though it was clear it was taking an enormous amount of will to meet his uncle's frank gaze but pride would not let him back down one bit. Zuko reminded Iroh of Ursa then and the ice around his heart melted a little. Perhaps Zuko had learned something after all and even though he had chosen a different way, Iroh could not find fault with his reasons for doing so.
He just wished it didn't have to be this way.
With a gentleness that he didn't have to feign, Iroh put a hand on that mark that his brother had given his firstborn son.
"I will never fight you, Zuko," he said quietly but firmly. "But I hope that the next time we meet, you will have found your balance."
Head bowed low, Iroh walked past his nephew and opened the door to his cell.
"Oh, and watch your back with Azula," Iroh warned, pausing at the doorway.
"I know, Uncle," Zuko said. "Azula always lies."
Iroh nodded and without a backwards glance, he made his way down the corridor. A part of him waited for Zuko's footsteps to start coming after him...
...but they never did.
-fin-
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