Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Achieving Clarity
Reviews
Achieving Clarity
(#) red_jacobson 2009-06-17
Very nice wrap up! I like the way that Lavender didn't help Harry make up his mind one way or the other GRIN Also found the idea of Harry telling Rufus to shove the Order of Merlin rather amusing.
I have to agree, I think that announcing the dice-roll of doom was the step that you probably shouldn't have taken. If the characters had died in combat, yeah, it would have been a bummer, but, the way you announced that two characters would die and how you would decide who they were, just stuck in my craw.
Anyway, I've generally enjoyed your stories and I'm looking forward to seeing more of what you write.
redAchieving Clarity
(#) Clell65619 2009-06-17
- Well, I didn't get to rate the story again...
- Nice use of both Lavender and the Elysian Fields, using Dumbles and Kings Cross never made the slightest bit of sense.
- Nice one shot Prof... Real nice.Achieving Clarity
(#) Nautilus 2009-06-17
nice work... though i was hoping to see a little more personal tragedy for harry. ow well, its how the dice role.
nice work on the whole for the story, yes, u submerged into the world of cliche a few times during that story (especially the ending and that speech, my what a speech) but overall i liked the ideas you played with. A very beautiful sandcastle was built on JK's very very long beach...
i only hope that it will not take another 21reviews to get you writing more (though i don't think that number will be a problem for you).
i look forward to your next castle, may it too stand the test of Caribbean waters.Achieving Clarity
(#) DJ32 2009-06-17
I loved the fic and you now have my all time favorite Draco kill. Also I like a happy ending well done.Achieving Clarity
(#) DrT 2009-06-17
Overall, good job. It is, as you say, getting more and more difficult to write without falling into cliche, either by changing the intial conditions or the results. I may have one more shot at the first, not so sure it will avoid the second enough to continue it. We'll have to see.Achieving Clarity
(#) wordhammer 2009-06-17
Hmm.
It is an ending, but not a crescendo and denouement. The victims of the dice were handled almost as an afterthought, and none of the surviving wives gave Harry the furious verbal abuse he deserved for eating an AK, even if he did get better. Lavender and the Elysian fields was cool, but why would she wait and Ron move forward? I half expected Harry to bump into a distraught Ron wandering around complaining "this place rots, Harry. I can't smell anything to eat!"
Not that I believe Harry and his burgeoning clan need to care, but with all the sane mages leaving Britain, I would nearly guarantee that they have at most 20 years before the British once more threaten the magical world with a Dark Brigade of one sort or another.
In the end, I feel as though the conclusion was rushed. (Or maybe this is just my underhanded way of luring you into writing a sequel)
I had fun with the dice roll, even if the dice result gave you the least juicy writing opportunity. I will look forward to your next great adventure ... story! I meant story!
whAchieving Clarity
(#) grookill 2009-06-17
Good job, nice ending. I loved the way you used Lavender, it just FIT the overall tone of the story perfectly, but the best part was the end of Draco. Dang, that was cruel!
As someone once said, "life is a cliche, deal with it."
Good luck on you next endeavor!
Achieving Clarity
(#) djo 2009-06-17
it seems we have all been lucky with the way the dices fell...
I really liked your story and the ending - let'see with what new plot you come up next!?Achieving Clarity
(#) bgoldnyxnet 2009-06-17
Well, that's "not influencing his decision" ... for some value of "not".
Congratulations to PerfessorN, you managed to write a porn story
1. Without getting repetitious, and
2. With some real plot.
The first is rather difficult... there are only so many different sex acts and so many different positions. by the time you reach 17 chapters, it's real easy to be writing about the same things over and over, with the only variation being which synonyms you use for the body parts.
The second probably isn't all _that_ hard, but it's rarer than it should be, IMHO. And without plot, you are almost guaranteed to get repetitious.
Poor Won Won and Lav Lav, though.
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