Terrific start. I was about to take over where you left off seeing as you seemed to have vanished. But you're back now and I hope you update again soon. There seemed to be a slow start to the first few paragraphs but it really got going near the end.
Author's response
Thanks for the kind words.
Sorry that you didn't enjoy the start. I knew the scene that I wanted to have at the end; it was just a matter of setting it up.