Review for The Horror of Harry's Horcrux

The Horror of Harry's Horcrux

(#) Alorkin 2008-04-18

A very interesting re-do tale with twists and turns throughout. 'Future Harry' sending his essence backwards in time to help/possess/influence/etc. Harry s not that unusual, though the timeframe is. "OI! Ten thousand years gives you such a crick in the neck!"

The scene between Ron and Ginny is frankly, disturbing. I used rick the same to punish them for trying to sabotage the relationship between Harry and Hermione. I still thought it squicky. Getting caught, was probably the most horrifying thing they ever imagined...except possibly for Molly catching them.

Harry decided to ensure the future wouldn't be the same, and despite the warnings in the books, I feel the future can be changed. After all, it is what is yet to come. Even if Harry did return to the past, he can effect changes.

Even erecting the wards around both the Dursley's homes and Hermione's not to mention all the other sets, has changed what was/will be.

Your description if Dumbledore shows he is not necessarily evil, per se, but rather neglectful. He appears to believe he, and only he, is capable of determining the proper path. He alone knows what is right for everyone and the fatal decisions he makes, he dismisses as the 'errors of an old man'. Such are the thoughts of the despot.

Hermione is very much in character. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why JKR decided to make Ginny-Sue Harry's love interest. While Harry is not nearly as studious as Hermione, he has absolutely nothing in common with Ginny. She's a bit character until Book five when she suddenly becomes 'SUPER-GINNY!' defender of the wizarding world. Prettier than Cho Chang, Smarter than Hermione Granger and braver than Harry himself. Yes, folks, it's SUPER-GINNY! Coming soon to a theater near you!

That Dumbledoore get's thhoroughly sppanked, makes me veery happpy (See bbelow).

Tat Snivellus does too, has me in stitches. He is an evil, cowardly bastard and that's all there is to it.

JKR's justification for his actions to the son of a man dead for fifteen years is pure crap! He sold out the man he owed a life debt to and then asked Voldy for her life after her husband and son were dead, all in the name of love. Yeah, Right!

The warding goes well, utilizing the blood of the protector and the protected. Very Celtic. Hermione is almost orgasmic at the chance to learn something new.

Bill is a nice twist. It's rare to see him in FF. He usually remains in the shadows Charlie too. Here, he's a professional curse breaker with a overriding drive to protect his family and home.

Luna's words at the cliffy are a great twist! On the other hand, driving your knee(?) into someone's 'nads is probably not the best way to make friends and influence people.

Now, for the painful part. there are more than a few grammatical errors in the story which tend to trip the reader up. A careful beta would help there. Remember, the gang are teenagers, except Harry(and possibly Luna, given the ending of the chapter.)

My other complaint is the letters. In Hermione's case, they tend to wander...something she absolutely does not do. In Harry's case, he uses complex words where simple ones would serve. Again, not something he would normally do. Still, his mind is 10K-years old, so I suspect that could be the reason. Ron also shows the same tendencies. His letter is most un-Ron-ish.

Well, I have placed this on my alerts list and I eagerly await the next chapter.

Alorkin

Author's response

Jesus, now that was a fucking thesis! WOW! To answer some of your rant, which was more against Deathly Hallows than my little snippets, I'd have to go straight to the point. People complain about spelling errors but never point them out. I'm going to go through each of my chapters for this story, tonight, in Word 2007 and hit a quick f7. I've done it in the past and to be honest, I need to put that to rest. If you see spelling errors, point them out in your review. It would make things simpler. On to Hermione acting out of character. Considering that I particularly like her character in books 1-4 like most people and kind of lose it a bit afterwards somewhat in five and six, though the beginning of book seven and Hermione's naughty little comment about Harry's taste, well, I degress.

Hermione is a hormonal teenager, whom has tendencies towards obsessive/compulsiveness. That's the way I went with it and I will stand by it. Ron's letters were a strategy attempt on his part to mimmick Harry's apparent adult approached letters. If you see what Bill reveals about Ron in the latest chapter you should pick up on Ron thinking him the great strategist.

This will not be a simple story for me to tell but at the same time, the week in review is something that I need to write to provide subplot information for later. I do have some fun stuff planned for the story, but at the same time, if you read my other story, Season of Hell, I may have a warped and twisted version of fun, which might deviate from what others might consider the norm.

I do appreciate your feedback on the story, as well as the time and dedication you put into your review. Frankly, with canon, you're preaching to the choir and I was slain in the spirit and what not.

Geovanni Luciano