I'd rate this as a good action scene, you conveyed the gist of the action without getting too graphic. I do like the way the clones are developing different personalities and 'twill be interesting to watch Harry interact with them. I do applaud his "lead from the front" approach as it makes for a much more responsive effort and shortens lines of communcation when speed is vital to winning the battle. It remains to be seen, though, just how painful recovering Drrem City turns out to be but I'm certain Harry and the 1st Legion will be up to the challenge.
Author's response
Heh Heh.... I only give the gist of the scene because I can't decribe it any further. Harry is a Gryffindor at heart after! It seems fitting to have him lead from the front. I'm not planning to have a vicious for it. After all he'll need his troops for bigger fishes in the galaxy.