Categories > Anime/Manga > Tsubasa/xxxHolic

Black Coffee

by strayphantom 1 review

Yuuko-san is hungover, Clow provides her with a cure. You can imagine what happens next...

Category: Tsubasa/xxxHolic - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Clow, Yuuko - Published: 2005-10-05 - Updated: 2005-10-05 - 687 words

1Funny
Yuuko's eyelids fluttered open like the wings of an epileptic butterfly. As she became conscious, her vision kicked in, but there was something wrong with it. She noticed that everything was blurry, as if viewed through the bottom of a beer bottle. Shortly after that, she became aware of an intensely painful sensation that began at the back of her eyeball, and quickly spread throughout her cerebral cortex, permeating her skull. She emitted a long, drawn out moaning sound that was reminiscent of a pregnant cow in labour.

Clow was humming cheerfully to himself as he prepared the morning tea. He placed the teapot on the tray, setting it next to the cups and saucers and a glass full of thick yellowish fluid - his father's old recipe for curing hangovers. It was a strange concoction made from raw eggs beaten together with ginger root, Worcester sauce and several spices. Horrible to drink, but it usually did the trick... Just then, a sorrowful moan drifted in from the lounge. He picked up the tray and headed off towards the sound, which reminded him of a female dragon with hemorrhoids...

Clow arrived in the lounge, and was somewhat relieved to not find a writhing dragon on his couch. Instead, Yuuko was sitting up with both feet touching the ground, and her head bent forward, propped up by her quivering hands. She was still moaning to herself, although she had turned the volume down a tad.

"Good morning," said Clow in a cheerful voice, knowing full well that it would irritate her to no end. Instead of responding, Yuuko's moan turned into a low, feral growl. Clow smirked to himself and began to pour the tea. "Lovely weather again today, hmm?" he asked, not really expecting an answer. With a colossal amount of effort, Yuuko restrained herself from wrapping her hands around his skinny white neck, and attempted to regain some of her composure.

After firing a scowl loaded with acid at his smug, annoying face, she turned her attention to the tea tray. Her gaze alighted upon the glass of yellow liquid. "What is that?" She asked, her voice tinged with suspicion. Clow smiled innocently. "Just a little something to help you feel better. My father's recipe." Her suspicion increased ten-fold. Anything devised by that family had a tendency to cause unnecessary grief. "I'll pass," she said, turning her nose up at the glass.

Just then, her brain decided to remind her of it's condition. Sharp lines of pain ripped across her skull and a wave of nausea washed over her. She fought to keep everything she'd eaten the day before where it belonged. She writhed for a few moments, biting her lower lip and then sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll drink it. Anything to get rid of this blasted headache..."

She swiped the glass off the tray and exhaled, before tilting her head back and swallowed the contents of the glass in one gulp. It was the vilest thing she had ever tasted...

"BLEEEUGGHH!!! DISGUSTING!!! HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF BLACK COFFEE, YOU INHUMAN MONSTER?!!!" Her screeches echoed off the walls. He smiled again. "Sorry, it should start to take effect any moment now..." She opened her mouth to retort, and stopped abruptly. Her stomach was rumbling like a distant thunderclap... What was going on with her body, all of a sudden?

The realization of what he'd done hit her like a smack in the face. If she'd had any colour to her skin, it would have drained away in an instant. She fixed him in her sights with one of her deadliest glares. "You..." she snarled. "You dare to give me an emetic? When I get through with you, there won't be enough left to cremate, you slimy son of a..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she suppressed a retch and clapped a hand over her mouth. She sprang off the sofa and dashed off in the direction of the bathroom, all the while plotting her revenge. Yes, she would do all manner of unspeakable things to him, as soon as she finished puking her heart up...
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