Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7 > Baby Reno
Baby Reno 1
0 ReviewsDue to an accident in an old Shinra lab Reno is turned into a baby. After he causes trouble in the Turks Rude seeks the help of Tifa as a babysitter. ElenaxTseng, TifaxCloud, YuffiexVincent, CidxShera
Baby Reno
Part 1
"I don't think we're supposed to be here" Rude quietly said. Though he knew Reno heard him as usual he chose not to listen.
"Relax, nothing bad will happen" Reno said in his usual carefree tone. They were in what was left of an old Shinra lab. Reno was feeling bored that day and decided to do a little exploring. He never expected that after poking machines he shouldn't be poking there would be a strange explosion.
"Reno!" Rude rushed to get his partner out of trouble but in his place he did not find the grown up Reno but a baby version of him swimming in the clothes that were too big for him now. "Reno?"
The baby looked at Rude and Rude looked at the baby. A few seconds passed like that in complete silence before the child started screaming his little head off in an effort to make his 'uncle Rude' pick him up.
Rude picked up the crying child and gently rocked him in his arms while singing an off key lullaby. Reno quieted, not because he liked the lullaby but because maybe if he was quiet his dear uncle Rude, who was no singer, would be quiet too. "Reno, it's really you isn't it?"
The child had the same eyes, the same hair though without the ponytail part and Reno's goggles atop his head that served to prove even further how much smaller he was now.
Rude took one last look at the machine that had caused this strange effect memorizing every detail about it in case he needed to describe it later. Then he left towards head quarters.
Upon arriving at head quarters he noticed Rufus happened to be there. The current president of Shinra looked at him as he arrived carrying a baby. "A child? Where did he come from?" Rufus asked. He boy looked familiar but he couldn't figure out why.
There was a moment of silence as Rude tried to find a way to explain this. While he gave the situation some thought and chose his words carefully Elena spoke first. "You see it all starts with a mommy and a daddy and when they love each other they-"
"I didn't mean to ask that" Rufus clarified.
"He's Reno" Rude finally said clear and simple, or maybe not so clear.
"He's Reno's child?" Rufus asked curiously. "Interesting." He suddenly got an idea. "Let me hold him for a moment, come here little Turks." While holding the baby he made a pose. "What do you think of this for positive publicity?"
"Are you going to do the entire shaking hands and kissing babies publicity thing?" Elena asked.
"If it works" Rufus said kissing the baby's forehead.
"So who's the poor unfortunate soul, er I mean, who's the baby's mother?" Elena asked.
"No, this isn't Reno's son. This is Reno. He turned into a baby after having a little accident with an old Shinra machine" Rude explained.
Rufus immediately gave the baby back to Rude. "You could have told me before!"
"...sorry" Rude said a bit surprised by Rufus freaking out.
The president soon returned to his calm self. "I remember Hojo mentioning that something like this happened once. The effect should end in a few days and he'll be back to normal. Until then I guess you'll have to baby sit." Postponing what he came to discuss in the first place, Rufus left. He didn't want to stay if the place turned into a daycare center especially with a baby like Reno. He didn't know why but he had a feeling the child would turn out to be quite a hand full for the Turks.
The room was left in silence after Rufus left save for Reno's complaints from being held like a common shopping bag even if he wasn't fully crying yet. "Rude, that's not how you hold a baby" Elena said. "Honestly, men don't know anything. Give him to me."
Rude gave her the baby. He was getting tired of having his little partner kick him even if he couldn't kick too hard being so small.
"It's ok, aunty Elena's here" Elena said gently holding little Reno. "You know, he's not so bad as a baby." Reno yawned and closed his ayes falling asleep. "I'll put him somewhere so he can continue his nap." Elena left.
Another moment of silence passed as Rude and Tseng continued taking in the situation. Maybe dealing with a baby Reno for the next few days wouldn't be so bad. "Right, Elena will baby sit. The rest of us will continue working normally" Tseng finally said.
Time slowly passed and eventually Elena returned with a crying Reno. "I couldn't find a baby bottle in this entire building!" She was clearly loosing her patience.
"We don't have any baby items here, why would we?" Tseng asked.
"For an emergency like this" Elena said. "Here Rude, try to keep him busy while Tseng and I go shopping."
"You want me to go?" Tseng asked. He wasn't looking forward to shopping for baby things for Reno.
"Are you going to let a lady carry everything? We need a lot of supplies." Elena said.
"I suppose not" Tseng answered. At least he got to spend the afternoon with Elena which made it better.
After they left Rude was left alone with Reno. "Don't cry partner. Auntie Elena and uncle Tseng will be back with lots of toys for you very soon. Until then you have uncle Rude to play with." Reno continued crying. "It's ok, I'll try to find some food for you" Rude said. But it wasn't enough to make Reno stop his crying until he got a hold of Rude's finger and bit him. "Stop! Let go!" Rude removed his finger from Reno's mouth and the red hired child started crying again loud enough for everyone in the entire Shinra building to hear. Rude sighted in defeat and let little Reno chew on his finger. The things he did for his partner, Reno better appreciate this.
"What do you think of this one?" Elena said holding some baby cloths for Tseng to see. The pants were baby blue, the shirt was of the same color but it had a picture of a fluffy white bunny. The set also included white bunny slippers and a white bunny hat with long fluffy ears.
"It's ok" Tseng answered sounding bored.
"That's what you said about all of them! Well I like this one. Let's buy it." Elena threw the outfit into their shopping cart along with the other baby clothes. The world had recovered just enough to reestablished most of the human basic necessities such as a mall.
"Do we have everything we need now?" Tseng asked impatiently. Sure he liked Elena but shopping was boring.
Elena looked hurt. "If you want to leave I'll finish shopping by myself. It's just that, sometimes it's nice to pretend I'm shopping for my own child."
This caught Tseng's attention. "Your own child?"
"Well I don't have children but I want to, someday. If the right man asks me to marry him" Elena said.
Unknown to them Yuffie was in that same store. She saw a baby tshirt with a picture of a materia and wondered if she could find one in her size. Sadly the store only appeared to have clothes for babies but Yuffie wouldn't give up. She was determined to get that shirt even if she was never able to wear it.
Soon Elena and Tseng moved to the toy section. It could only be so long before little Reno got bored of napping and playing with paper balls and airplanes and demanded some real toys.
Walking to the toy area in search of materia themed toys which she had been secretly collecting, Yuffie spotted Tseng and Elena. She hid in a large pile of plushies tried to listen to their conversation.
"I'm getting kind of hungry because I skipped lunch today" Elena said placing a hand on her stomach but Yuffie was too far to hear.
"I skipped lunch too with all the work Rufus had been giving us to get Shinra Inc. back on the map. Let's have a late lunch after we pay for this stuff." Of course he planned to take all the expenses out of Reno's pay later.
The pile of plushies moved closer as Tseng and Elena were too distracted with each other to notice.
Suddenly Elena noticed the plushies. "Look! They made plushies of the Turks" She said picking up a Tseng plushie. She would pretend it was for Reno then keep it to herself. She also added to the shopping cart a plushie of her self and plushies of Reno and Rude. The last two were actually for the baby. She also took a moogle, a chocobo, a cat (which was a Cait Sith plushie) and a dog (Red XIII) plushie.
"Elena, don't forget the baby bottle. That's what we came here to buy remember?" Tseng reminded her.
"Oh, yes. I think they're over this way." As soon as Tseng and Elena left, Yuffie breathed in relief.
The materia stealing ninja had stayed perfectly still hoping that she wasn't caught spying and it had worked. Of course after witnessing that scene she couldn't help it but to jump to conclusions. "Elena is having Tseng's baby wait till I tell everyone!" She jumped out of the plushie mountain and noticed something. "A materia plushie!"
After buying all the necessary baby supplies Tseng and Elena had lunch then returned to head quarters. There they found Rude suffering from a large head ache thanks to Reno. The baby though that his head was a drum and kept hitting it with a pen and a pencil. If Rude tried to stop him Reno would start crying making his head ache worse. To Rude, Tseng and Elena looked like angels of hope coming to rescue him from the hyper sugar high baby. Maybe giving him candy wasn't such a good idea after all.
Tseng examined the area. "Why is this place such a mess?"
"I put Reno on the floor for just a second and he crawled away." He conveniently let out the part about giving him candy before that. "For someone who doesn't know how to walk yet he's really fast." Rude had lost count of how many times Reno crawled under a desk or table and he bumped his head trying to catch him.
"We brought all the necessary baby supplies. Go change him into some baby clothes while I prepare his milk and don't forget the diaper." Elena took some of the bags Tseng was carrying and handed them to Rude.
Rude then went off to get Reno ready. Looking at the baby clothes he found bunnies, kittens, moogles, chocobos and other funny looking outfits. From all of them he chose the moogle. Soon Reno was wearing fuzzy white clothes with little wings and a moogle hat. "Ok Reno, your auntie Elena will give you some milk very soon so try to sit still until then." The only answer Rude got was a sudden cry. "What's wrong? Don't you like your new clothes? Don't blame me. I wasn't the one who picked them." The crying continued.
"Rude what's going on?" Elena asked as she came with a bottle of milk.
"He must be very hungry because he won't stop crying" Rude said.
"What's that smell?" Tseng asked arriving along with Elena.
Rude looked at baby Reno then at Tseng and Elena. "I don't want to do it" he clearly stated.
"I'm not going to do it" Tseng said.
"I don't want to do it and I'm not going to do it" Elena added.
They looked at each other trying to appoint someone to change Reno's diaper. "Someone has to do it or he won't shut up" Tseng said feeling the beginnings of a headache.
"Rude, you're his partner you do it" Elena said.
"But I don't know how to change a diaper" Rude complained.
"I'll explain as you go along" Elena said nearly loosing her patience. Reno was certainly a very noisy baby. The Turks suddenly found themselves feeling sorry for his mother.
"Alright I'll do it" Rude finally agreed. Fallowing Elena's instructions Rude changed Reno's diaper. It wasn't easy since Reno wouldn't stay still but Rude was thankful that at least the baby didn't need to go until he already had a diaper on. After the procedure was finished the old diaper was thrown into a trash can which was later sealed and thrown away labeled as toxic waste.
After Reno was all cleaned up, Elena fed him his milk. Reno was quite hungry and wasn't satisfied with just one bottle of milk. "I think he needs some baby food too" Elena said. "Here Tseng you hold him while I get some."
Tseng appeared to return to reality after spacing out. "Ok, you're pretty good with children Elena."
"Thanks" Elena said smiling.
The peace wouldn't last long for the Turks for giving Reno baby food turned out to be quite an adventure. What started as a meal for a bay turned into a food war as little Reno refused to let anyone escape without a good amount of baby food thrown at their face.
"It's quiet" Elena said hardly above a whisper.
"Too quiet" Rude added.
"Alright team, move out!" Tseng said.
Elena did not look too happy with that idea. "Wait, it could still be dangerous!" Her warning came too late for Tseng placed a pot on his head, grabbed a flying pan as a shield and left their shelter made from a turned over table.
The tiny red haired enemy saw his target and threw a handful of baby food.
Tseng blocked with the frying pan. "You're going to run out of ammunition eventually Reno!" How convenient that head quarters was equipped with a kitchen even if it was never really used. "Move the fortress!"
At their leader's command Rude and Elena lifted the table, still using it as a shield and moved it closer to their adorable little enemy. Tseng returned to the fortress. "How is the situation?" Elena asked.
"This doesn't look good. He still had a lot of food left" Tseng answered looking towards Rude.
"I apologize for that, it's just that I thought Elena wasn't giving him enough food and I didn't want him to go hungry" Rude said.
"What?" Elena yelled. "I would never let a fellow Turks starve. He's a baby his stomach is a lot smaller now. You can't expect him to eat like he used to. He doesn't need as much food and as soon as he's full he'll start throwing the rest."
"My mistake" Rude said apologetically.
"It's in the past now. We need to work as a team if we are to survive this" Tseng said. Rude and Elena nodded in agreement. "Alright we need a plan." Tseng was interrupted by baby food falling on the floor near by.
"He reached the fortress?" Rude asked in surprise.
"It's an ambush!" Elena yelled. She was right for soon baby food started to rain upon them.
"He tricked us he wasn't throwing the food as hard as he could before to make us get closer" Rude said. That little Reno was a clever baby.
"Retreat!" Tseng never thought he would be saying that word. The Turks did not retreat but this was a special case. They scrambled out of the kitchen being hit by the baby food several times as they ran.
Rufus quietly passed by. "I only wanted to see how things were going but looking at your current state says enough." He continued on his way looking back only once to take one last look at Tseng with a pot on his head and at all three adult Turks covered in baby food.
"He must think we're incapable of handling the situation" Tseng said sounding quite frustrated.
"Are we?" Rude asked unsure.
"This is no time for doubt" Tseng said. He took off his 'helmet and dropped his 'shield'. "I'm going in!" Even if he turned into a baby food snow man he wasn't going to show any fear.
"He's so brave" Elena said as she watched him go.
Tseng ran inside the kitchen. Baby Reno was prepared for the attack. "Give me all you got the leader of the Turks will not be defeated by a little ba-ah!" To challenge little Reno was a bad idea. He threw baby food hitting him right on the face. Tseng didn't see where he was going and stepped on some baby food that was on the floor. He slipped backwards did a funny slippery dance in a futile attempt to regain his balance and landed face up at the foot of Reno's baby chair. Reno dropped the bowl of baby food down at his fallen enemy.
"Tseng!" Elena rushed in and slipped landing on top of Tseng. Still on him she removed the bowl from his face and tried to help clean him up. "Well, at least he is unarmed now." She smiled and tried to look on the bright side. Tseng's brave sacrifice would not be in vane.
Tseng smiled back. At least this defeat would be kept as a secret of the Turks.
"Excuse me, there's a child in the room" Rude said.
Elena turned bright red as did Tseng. She struggled to get off him but that only resulted in more slipping. Finally after many embarrassing, yet oddly enjoyable, failed attempts both Tseng and Elena were on their feet.
"Well, I think the worse is over" Tseng said looking at little Reno. He was wrong, very wrong.
The day was absolutely exhausting for the Turks and they were all too happy when night finally came. They decided that since Rude was Reno's partner he should stay with him. Rude agreed thinking it shouldn't be too much trouble since Reno should be sleeping all night, or at least that's what Rude thought.
Tseng was woken up at two in the morning by the phone. "Hello?" He sheepishly answered it. This better be important. Anything less than an emergency that threatened all of Shinra could wait until morning.
"Can I take Reno to your place?" Rude asked, he sounded positively exhausted.
"Rude? You woke me up to ask me that? Couldn't it wait until morning?" Tseng said annoyed.
"I haven't slept all night. Reno keeps crying for no reason and waking me up" Rude said.
"Why didn't you call Elena? She knows more about babies than I do" Tseng said.
"She said 'Feed him, change his diaper, sing him a lullaby and don't call me again or I'll shoot you tomorrow at work.' She sounded dead serious too" Rude said.
"Not a bad idea" Tseng said.
"I can't do this" Rude said stressing out.
"Alright, the Turks are a team. Survive this one night and tomorrow Elena will take care of him then I will take care of him the night after that" Tseng said. Without waiting for Rude's reply he hung up and disconnected the phone.
The next day was like a copy of the first, expect Reno's aim had improved which meant more baby food in the face of the three grown up Turks. He appeared to be much more energetic even if he didn't sleep and kept Rude awake. At the end of the day the Turks have not gotten any work done and were so tired it felt as if they haven't slept in years.
As expected Reno kept Elena awake all night and the same thing happened with Tseng. By the forth day the Turks were at the end of their patience. "We need a babysitter" Elena said.
Rude suddenly remembered that Cloud and Tifa were taking care of some kids. "Tifa can baby sit!"
"Excellent, you will take Reno to Tifa and request her babysitting services" Tseng decided.
Knowing it would be pointless to argue Rude packed all of Reno's toys and baby supplies, picked up the baby and headed to Tifa's house.
"Tifa!" Rude called in a desperate voice as he went inside. "This is an emergency you have to help." He nearly begged in a very out of character way.
"Rude what's wrong?" Tifa said in alarm fearing the worse. "Is Sephiroth back? Is the planet in danger? What is it?"
"I need a babysitter" Rude said.
Tifa glared. "That's all?"
"This is an emergency! Please take care of him" Rude said handing her the baby. He was now dressed as a kitten that looked like Cait Sith.
Tifa was a little confused. "What are you talking about and who is this little boy?"
"He's Reno" Rude said.
Tifa looked at the child. "Reno? Well h certainly looks like him. Who's the poor unfortunate soul, I mean, if Reno is the father then who's the baby's mother?"
"He's not Reno's son, he is Reno. He had an accident in an old Shinra lab. He should be back to normal in a few days, I hope. Until then could you please take care of him? He's driving the Turks insane" Rude said.
Sure this was Reno, a member of the Turks but he was only a baby now. "Alright I'll take care of him."
"Thank you! Here are his baby things." Rude gave her a bag with all of Reno's baby things. Finally Rude would get some peaceful rest.
"Babye uncle Wude!" Little Reno said.
Rude's mood suddenly changed for the better. Baby Reno wasn't that bad. Maybe he could stand to take care of him for a little longer but he really needed some sleep and Tifa was more experienced in babysitting than he was. "Goodbye Reno. I'll come back to visit soon."
After Rude was gone, Marlene who had heard some voices downstairs curiously went to see what it was about. "Tifa?" Tifa turned to face the girl who then noticed the baby. "A baby! Can I hold him please?"
"Alright just be careful" Tifa said.
"Can Denzel and I play with him? We'll be very careful I promise!" Marlene asked.
"Ok, you can play with him" Tifa answered.
Denzel then came after he thought he heard his name. "Did someone call me? Did Cloud come back?"
"He hasn't come back yet" Tifa said.
"But we have someone new to play with" Marlene said.
"Right, I think you two can take care of him for a while" Tifa said. "Here Denzel these are his toys." She handed him the bag. "His name is Reno."
The two kids went off to play with the baby and all was quiet until Reno wanted a bottle of milk. "Tifa! I think Reno's hungry he won't stop crying and I'm only used to babysitting people around my age" Marlene called.
Denzel realized she was talking about him. "Hey!"
"Coming!" Tifa called. Soon she arrived with a bottle of milk for little Reno. After he finished his milk came the chaos of the baby food war.
"I'm glad we have a baby around" Marlene said happily.
"Yeah, he's fun!" Denzel agreed.
Tifa tried to shield herself with her h and while the children threw baby food at each other. "Stop it all of you! You're making a mess!" But it was useless for Reno had woken up the kids 'inner hyperness' with some hyperness of his own. Unfortunately for Tifa it didn't look like the baby food fight would end any time soon since the kids simply picked up as much as they could into their hands from the floor to throw it again. This has never happened to her before. Usually babysitting was so easy. "Stop!" She yelled at the top of her lungs and if I say her voice echoed all over the city I wouldn't be exaggerating.
Marlene and Denzel dropped their ammunition and stood straight. They looked at Tifa with sad expression realizing they might actually get into trouble for their battle. All was silent for a few seconds until suddenly Reno started crying. If Tifa's voice was heard all over the city, Reno could be heard all over the planet.
Feeling completely helpless Tifa picked up baby Reno and tried to calm him down. "Go get cleaned up" she tried to tell Marlene and Denzel.
"What?" The children asked at the same time.
"Go get cleaned up!" Tifa yelled. Such would be her luck that Reno had quieted down at the precise moment when Tifa yelled trying to be heard over his crying. Had she known this would happen she wouldn't have raised her voice so much. As expected the unnecessary loudness made Reno start crying again loud than before if that was even possible. Tifa moved her head toward the kitchen door gesturing for the children to leave and get cleaned up while she once again tried to end Reno's crying.
It was around that time when Cloud returned to find little baby food foot prints all over the house which he assumed by the size of them were left by Marlene and Denzel. A baby's cries could be heard from outside. In fact he had been hearing a baby crying for a while but had no idea where the loud noise was coming from. "Tifa?" Shielding his ears Cloud went in search of his childhood friend.
Once again Tifa managed to calm Reno's loud cries. She thought she heard Cloud calling but with all the noise she wasn't quite sure. "Cloud?"
Cloud arrived and looked at Tifa who was holding the baby. "When did we adopt another orphan?" He asked half jokingly.
"Mommy" baby Reno said to Tifa.
Cloud looked at the child. "He called you mommy but he looks like Reno." He paused letting his mind run wild with unlikely theories.
"He is Reno" Tifa said.
Cloud opened his eyes wide, his jaw dropped and he began to sweat. "Could you repeat that?" He asked very slowly making a pause after each word.
"He is Reno" Tifa repeated as slow as Cloud had asked. Sure taking care of a baby was a handful. Even more so if that baby was Reno, the most hyper of the Turks. He must have already noticed there would be some difficulties judging by the baby food everywhere but that was not reason enough to get that nervous, surprised and all around freaked out. "Are you alright?" Tifa asked with genuine concern.
"You and Reno have a son?!" Cloud screamed loud enough for Marlene and Denzel to rush down the stairs. They had already finished getting cleaned up.
"He's your son?" Marlene asked curiously.
"When was he born? How come we didn't notice?" Denzel asked.
That's when Cloud's brain decided to jump start after partially recovering from the shock. "That's right I don't remember you ever being pregnant." It didn't make sense but with Shinra involved anything was possible.
"He's not my son!" Tifa yelled loud enough for anyone who had heard Cloud yell before to clear up that misunderstanding.
Cloud took a deep breath filling his lungs with much needed oxygen. He let his breath escape slowly. "Don't scare me like that." With a cheerful smile knowing having that cleared up Cloud took at closer look at the baby. "He really does look a lot like Reno. If you're not his mom then who's the poor unfortunate soul, I mean, his mother, who is his mother?"
Tifa started to explain. "Well, you see this isn't an ordinary baby."
Clouds interrupted in alarm. "You're not going to say that Jenova is his mother, are you? Reno and Jenova had a son? How is that even possible? Is he going to grow up to be like Sephiroth or worse?"
"Cloud, stop jumping to conclusions and let me explain!" Tifa said. Cloud nodded and remained quiet. "Reno had a little accident at an old Shinra lab and this was the result."
"Is it a Reno clone or..." He pauses at the utter creepiness of the possibility. "Reno gave birth? I thought he gained a few pounds."
"No!" Tifa said pushing away the odd image of a pregnant Reno. "What I mean to say is that this is Reno, he was turned into a baby in the accident."
"If that is Reno then why is he here? Shouldn't the Turks be taking care of him?" Cloud asked.
"He was driving them insane" Tifa answered. "As you can see from the state that the walls and floor are in taking care of a baby Reno is not an easy job."
"Yet you agreed to it?" Cloud asked.
"I felt sorry for him" Tifa said.
Cloud extended his arms to take the baby and Tifa gave little Reno to him. "Daddy?"
"I'm not your father. No son of mine would be working for Shinra" Cloud said. Baby Reno looked like he was about to cry. "It's ok don't cry. You can call me daddy if it makes you happy."
"Daddy!" Baby Reno said hugging Cloud.
He couldn't help it but to smile. "You felt sorry for him huh? I guess he's not so bad when he's this little. It's hard to stay mad at him like this."
"Actually I felt sorry for Rude. You should have seen him. I can only imagine the state that Tseng and Elena are in. Even if they are Turks these are hard times from them." Tifa said. "Anyway, now that you're here you can help take care of little Reno. Marlene, Denzel since you two enjoyed the food fight so much you can give me a hand cleaning up this mess while I do the laundry."
A unanimous "aw" was heard from the two kids.
"C'mon it's not so bad. Give Tifa a hand, she works really hard around here." Cloud said feeling a little guilty that he sometimes disappeared for so long.
"Ok, Cloud!" Marlene and Denzel nodded and went to get the necessary materials to clean.
"Cloud, you can give Reno a bath" Tifa said.
"What? Me? Why me?" Cloud complained.
"I'm sure you can handle getting a baby cleaned up, it's not that hard. Besides Marlene and Denzel are helping clean the baby food and I'm doing the laundry. As a part of this family you need to help too." Tifa said.
"Trade chores?" Cloud asked in one last effort to escape giving Reno a bath.
"The last time I trusted you with the washing machine you flooded the house" Tifa reminded him.
"I take it that's a no" Cloud said. "Well it can't be so hard."
"Right, just let me get cleaned up first." With that said Tifa left. She changed her clothes and got cleaned up quickly. Then she picked up the baby food covered clothes the kids left in the bathroom after changing, added her baby food covered cloths and a few other things then went to do the laundry. "Ok, Cloud the bathroom's ready. Don't forget that the water can't be too hot or too cold. Taking care of a baby is challenging enough but taking care of a baby with a cold is a nightmare I don't want to live."
"I'll make sure the water's at a good temperature" Cloud said. He had to be extra careful. He didn't want to imagine what taking care of baby Reno would be like if h had a cold. If even Tifa thought it would be a nightmare then he didn't want to find out.
Soon little Reno was in the bath tub surrounded by bubbles and floating baby toys. He played in the water splashing happily and getting Cloud all wet.
"Sit still so I can wash that baby food off your hair" Cloud said attempting to clean Reno's red hair with a sponge.
But Reno, hyper as he was, would not sit still. He knocked the sponge out of Cloud's hand and laughed.
"C'mon Reno. Stay still so daddy can get you all cleaned up" Cloud said. He didn't believe those words have come out of his mouth. He reached to get the sponge which had fallen in the bath tub leaning in to search for it among the bubbles.
Reno thought Cloud was offering him a piggy back ride and immediately jumped on his adoptive father's head.
Splashing sounds were heard behind the bathroom's door as Tifa walked by with a laundry basket. "Aw, how cute they're playing in the water." She smiled not knowing that Cloud was drowning and walked away happily. Of course Cloud survived but the taste of soap would stay with him for the next few days.
After his bath baby Reno took a nap surrounded by his plushies, a moogle, a chocobo, Cait Sith, Red XIII, Rude and a plushie of himself, etc. Meanwhile Cloud was talking to Tifa about the baby Reno situation. "For how long will he stay a baby?" Cloud asked.
"I don't know" Tifa said. "I guess we'll have to wait and find out."
"Just like that, doesn't it bother you? Don't you find it suspicious?" Cloud asked.
"I don't think there's a plan to take over the world behind this if that's what you're asking" Tifa said. "It's really not that bad. The Turks will recover and come back to pick him up, I'm sure they'll be back for him."
"And you don't mind being his mother until then?" Cloud asked.
Tifa smiled. The baby thought she and Cloud were his parents. "I don't mind. Does it bother you to be his father?" Cloud thought about it. Unknown to them at that precise moment Yuffie entered the house and came within hearing distance. "You don't need to do this if you don't want to."
Cloud smiled in good humor. "I don't mind. Alright Tifa, I'll be the father of your child." But what he said came out a little wrong. What he was trying to say was that he accepted to play along for a few days.
"Wow everyone's been getting together lately!" Yuffie who had been quietly standing at the door said.
Tifa and Cloud looked at her and realized what conclusion she had jumped to. "Yuffie this isn't our baby or anything. We're just babysitting" Tifa explained.
"But you're going to have your own children right? Love is in the air. First Elena and Tseng and now you two" Yuffie said. "I wonder when my prince charming will come for me. I hope he brings materia."
Cloud shook his head. "Forget it Tifa there's no way to make her change her mind. What was that you were saying about the Turks? Are they causing trouble?"
"No, I was just saying that Elena's pregnant. She's having Tseng's baby" Yuffie said.
"Really?" Tifa asked. "How do you know that?"
"I saw them shopping for baby things and she touched her stomach" Yuffie explained.
"That doesn't mean she's pregnant maybe she was hungry or had a stomach ache or something" Cloud said.
"No, I'm certain it's a pregnancy. Why else would they be buying baby things?" Yuffie insisted defending her theory.
"Maybe they were buying them for Reno" Tifa said.
"Reno? Why? Is he pregnant?" Yuffie asked. She received weird looks from Tifa and Cloud before realizing what she said. "I mean is someone having his baby?"
"No, Reno was turned into a baby and the Turks were taking care of him" Tifa explained.
"Wow, Reno got turned into a baby. At least now you two get to practice before having a baby of your own!" Yuffie said happily before running off to search for materia.
"Yuffie!" Tifa and Cloud both yelled at the same time.
After her search proved fruitless Yuffie fallowed the loud noise of a baby crying to find little Reno who had woken up from his nap. "He guys the baby's crying!"
Tifa rushed in. "Mommy!" Reno said happily.
"I'm tired from all the cleaning and Cloud says he would rather keep his distance for a while." Tifa said as she picked up the baby.
"How come? I thought he wanted to practice being a daddy." Yuffie asked.
"He said something about a near death experience and that he didn't want to talk about it. I honestly don't know what in the world he's talking about." Tifa said. Both he and the baby looked perfectly safe. Reno looked happy and Cloud was all wet but a little water couldn't be the cause of his so called near death experience could it? Nah, it was probably nothing.
"Well you know Cloud. He always has his head in the clouds." Yuffie said. "No pun intended."
Tifa laughed. "Could you watch Reno for a while?"
"No problem, leave it to Yuffie!" Tifa gave her the baby and left. "Ok little Reno, auntie Yuffie will tell you the story of the five little piggies, except it'll be the five little Turks. This little Turks is the leader of the Turks" Yuffie said tickling Reno's toe. "This little Turks is the new one who has a crush on the leader. This little Turks is made up because I need five and I only know four. This little Turks is the partner of the next Turks and this little Turks got turned into a baby so auntie Yuffie tickled him!" The sound of a baby laughing soon fallowed.
To be Continued
Part 1
"I don't think we're supposed to be here" Rude quietly said. Though he knew Reno heard him as usual he chose not to listen.
"Relax, nothing bad will happen" Reno said in his usual carefree tone. They were in what was left of an old Shinra lab. Reno was feeling bored that day and decided to do a little exploring. He never expected that after poking machines he shouldn't be poking there would be a strange explosion.
"Reno!" Rude rushed to get his partner out of trouble but in his place he did not find the grown up Reno but a baby version of him swimming in the clothes that were too big for him now. "Reno?"
The baby looked at Rude and Rude looked at the baby. A few seconds passed like that in complete silence before the child started screaming his little head off in an effort to make his 'uncle Rude' pick him up.
Rude picked up the crying child and gently rocked him in his arms while singing an off key lullaby. Reno quieted, not because he liked the lullaby but because maybe if he was quiet his dear uncle Rude, who was no singer, would be quiet too. "Reno, it's really you isn't it?"
The child had the same eyes, the same hair though without the ponytail part and Reno's goggles atop his head that served to prove even further how much smaller he was now.
Rude took one last look at the machine that had caused this strange effect memorizing every detail about it in case he needed to describe it later. Then he left towards head quarters.
Upon arriving at head quarters he noticed Rufus happened to be there. The current president of Shinra looked at him as he arrived carrying a baby. "A child? Where did he come from?" Rufus asked. He boy looked familiar but he couldn't figure out why.
There was a moment of silence as Rude tried to find a way to explain this. While he gave the situation some thought and chose his words carefully Elena spoke first. "You see it all starts with a mommy and a daddy and when they love each other they-"
"I didn't mean to ask that" Rufus clarified.
"He's Reno" Rude finally said clear and simple, or maybe not so clear.
"He's Reno's child?" Rufus asked curiously. "Interesting." He suddenly got an idea. "Let me hold him for a moment, come here little Turks." While holding the baby he made a pose. "What do you think of this for positive publicity?"
"Are you going to do the entire shaking hands and kissing babies publicity thing?" Elena asked.
"If it works" Rufus said kissing the baby's forehead.
"So who's the poor unfortunate soul, er I mean, who's the baby's mother?" Elena asked.
"No, this isn't Reno's son. This is Reno. He turned into a baby after having a little accident with an old Shinra machine" Rude explained.
Rufus immediately gave the baby back to Rude. "You could have told me before!"
"...sorry" Rude said a bit surprised by Rufus freaking out.
The president soon returned to his calm self. "I remember Hojo mentioning that something like this happened once. The effect should end in a few days and he'll be back to normal. Until then I guess you'll have to baby sit." Postponing what he came to discuss in the first place, Rufus left. He didn't want to stay if the place turned into a daycare center especially with a baby like Reno. He didn't know why but he had a feeling the child would turn out to be quite a hand full for the Turks.
The room was left in silence after Rufus left save for Reno's complaints from being held like a common shopping bag even if he wasn't fully crying yet. "Rude, that's not how you hold a baby" Elena said. "Honestly, men don't know anything. Give him to me."
Rude gave her the baby. He was getting tired of having his little partner kick him even if he couldn't kick too hard being so small.
"It's ok, aunty Elena's here" Elena said gently holding little Reno. "You know, he's not so bad as a baby." Reno yawned and closed his ayes falling asleep. "I'll put him somewhere so he can continue his nap." Elena left.
Another moment of silence passed as Rude and Tseng continued taking in the situation. Maybe dealing with a baby Reno for the next few days wouldn't be so bad. "Right, Elena will baby sit. The rest of us will continue working normally" Tseng finally said.
Time slowly passed and eventually Elena returned with a crying Reno. "I couldn't find a baby bottle in this entire building!" She was clearly loosing her patience.
"We don't have any baby items here, why would we?" Tseng asked.
"For an emergency like this" Elena said. "Here Rude, try to keep him busy while Tseng and I go shopping."
"You want me to go?" Tseng asked. He wasn't looking forward to shopping for baby things for Reno.
"Are you going to let a lady carry everything? We need a lot of supplies." Elena said.
"I suppose not" Tseng answered. At least he got to spend the afternoon with Elena which made it better.
After they left Rude was left alone with Reno. "Don't cry partner. Auntie Elena and uncle Tseng will be back with lots of toys for you very soon. Until then you have uncle Rude to play with." Reno continued crying. "It's ok, I'll try to find some food for you" Rude said. But it wasn't enough to make Reno stop his crying until he got a hold of Rude's finger and bit him. "Stop! Let go!" Rude removed his finger from Reno's mouth and the red hired child started crying again loud enough for everyone in the entire Shinra building to hear. Rude sighted in defeat and let little Reno chew on his finger. The things he did for his partner, Reno better appreciate this.
"What do you think of this one?" Elena said holding some baby cloths for Tseng to see. The pants were baby blue, the shirt was of the same color but it had a picture of a fluffy white bunny. The set also included white bunny slippers and a white bunny hat with long fluffy ears.
"It's ok" Tseng answered sounding bored.
"That's what you said about all of them! Well I like this one. Let's buy it." Elena threw the outfit into their shopping cart along with the other baby clothes. The world had recovered just enough to reestablished most of the human basic necessities such as a mall.
"Do we have everything we need now?" Tseng asked impatiently. Sure he liked Elena but shopping was boring.
Elena looked hurt. "If you want to leave I'll finish shopping by myself. It's just that, sometimes it's nice to pretend I'm shopping for my own child."
This caught Tseng's attention. "Your own child?"
"Well I don't have children but I want to, someday. If the right man asks me to marry him" Elena said.
Unknown to them Yuffie was in that same store. She saw a baby tshirt with a picture of a materia and wondered if she could find one in her size. Sadly the store only appeared to have clothes for babies but Yuffie wouldn't give up. She was determined to get that shirt even if she was never able to wear it.
Soon Elena and Tseng moved to the toy section. It could only be so long before little Reno got bored of napping and playing with paper balls and airplanes and demanded some real toys.
Walking to the toy area in search of materia themed toys which she had been secretly collecting, Yuffie spotted Tseng and Elena. She hid in a large pile of plushies tried to listen to their conversation.
"I'm getting kind of hungry because I skipped lunch today" Elena said placing a hand on her stomach but Yuffie was too far to hear.
"I skipped lunch too with all the work Rufus had been giving us to get Shinra Inc. back on the map. Let's have a late lunch after we pay for this stuff." Of course he planned to take all the expenses out of Reno's pay later.
The pile of plushies moved closer as Tseng and Elena were too distracted with each other to notice.
Suddenly Elena noticed the plushies. "Look! They made plushies of the Turks" She said picking up a Tseng plushie. She would pretend it was for Reno then keep it to herself. She also added to the shopping cart a plushie of her self and plushies of Reno and Rude. The last two were actually for the baby. She also took a moogle, a chocobo, a cat (which was a Cait Sith plushie) and a dog (Red XIII) plushie.
"Elena, don't forget the baby bottle. That's what we came here to buy remember?" Tseng reminded her.
"Oh, yes. I think they're over this way." As soon as Tseng and Elena left, Yuffie breathed in relief.
The materia stealing ninja had stayed perfectly still hoping that she wasn't caught spying and it had worked. Of course after witnessing that scene she couldn't help it but to jump to conclusions. "Elena is having Tseng's baby wait till I tell everyone!" She jumped out of the plushie mountain and noticed something. "A materia plushie!"
After buying all the necessary baby supplies Tseng and Elena had lunch then returned to head quarters. There they found Rude suffering from a large head ache thanks to Reno. The baby though that his head was a drum and kept hitting it with a pen and a pencil. If Rude tried to stop him Reno would start crying making his head ache worse. To Rude, Tseng and Elena looked like angels of hope coming to rescue him from the hyper sugar high baby. Maybe giving him candy wasn't such a good idea after all.
Tseng examined the area. "Why is this place such a mess?"
"I put Reno on the floor for just a second and he crawled away." He conveniently let out the part about giving him candy before that. "For someone who doesn't know how to walk yet he's really fast." Rude had lost count of how many times Reno crawled under a desk or table and he bumped his head trying to catch him.
"We brought all the necessary baby supplies. Go change him into some baby clothes while I prepare his milk and don't forget the diaper." Elena took some of the bags Tseng was carrying and handed them to Rude.
Rude then went off to get Reno ready. Looking at the baby clothes he found bunnies, kittens, moogles, chocobos and other funny looking outfits. From all of them he chose the moogle. Soon Reno was wearing fuzzy white clothes with little wings and a moogle hat. "Ok Reno, your auntie Elena will give you some milk very soon so try to sit still until then." The only answer Rude got was a sudden cry. "What's wrong? Don't you like your new clothes? Don't blame me. I wasn't the one who picked them." The crying continued.
"Rude what's going on?" Elena asked as she came with a bottle of milk.
"He must be very hungry because he won't stop crying" Rude said.
"What's that smell?" Tseng asked arriving along with Elena.
Rude looked at baby Reno then at Tseng and Elena. "I don't want to do it" he clearly stated.
"I'm not going to do it" Tseng said.
"I don't want to do it and I'm not going to do it" Elena added.
They looked at each other trying to appoint someone to change Reno's diaper. "Someone has to do it or he won't shut up" Tseng said feeling the beginnings of a headache.
"Rude, you're his partner you do it" Elena said.
"But I don't know how to change a diaper" Rude complained.
"I'll explain as you go along" Elena said nearly loosing her patience. Reno was certainly a very noisy baby. The Turks suddenly found themselves feeling sorry for his mother.
"Alright I'll do it" Rude finally agreed. Fallowing Elena's instructions Rude changed Reno's diaper. It wasn't easy since Reno wouldn't stay still but Rude was thankful that at least the baby didn't need to go until he already had a diaper on. After the procedure was finished the old diaper was thrown into a trash can which was later sealed and thrown away labeled as toxic waste.
After Reno was all cleaned up, Elena fed him his milk. Reno was quite hungry and wasn't satisfied with just one bottle of milk. "I think he needs some baby food too" Elena said. "Here Tseng you hold him while I get some."
Tseng appeared to return to reality after spacing out. "Ok, you're pretty good with children Elena."
"Thanks" Elena said smiling.
The peace wouldn't last long for the Turks for giving Reno baby food turned out to be quite an adventure. What started as a meal for a bay turned into a food war as little Reno refused to let anyone escape without a good amount of baby food thrown at their face.
"It's quiet" Elena said hardly above a whisper.
"Too quiet" Rude added.
"Alright team, move out!" Tseng said.
Elena did not look too happy with that idea. "Wait, it could still be dangerous!" Her warning came too late for Tseng placed a pot on his head, grabbed a flying pan as a shield and left their shelter made from a turned over table.
The tiny red haired enemy saw his target and threw a handful of baby food.
Tseng blocked with the frying pan. "You're going to run out of ammunition eventually Reno!" How convenient that head quarters was equipped with a kitchen even if it was never really used. "Move the fortress!"
At their leader's command Rude and Elena lifted the table, still using it as a shield and moved it closer to their adorable little enemy. Tseng returned to the fortress. "How is the situation?" Elena asked.
"This doesn't look good. He still had a lot of food left" Tseng answered looking towards Rude.
"I apologize for that, it's just that I thought Elena wasn't giving him enough food and I didn't want him to go hungry" Rude said.
"What?" Elena yelled. "I would never let a fellow Turks starve. He's a baby his stomach is a lot smaller now. You can't expect him to eat like he used to. He doesn't need as much food and as soon as he's full he'll start throwing the rest."
"My mistake" Rude said apologetically.
"It's in the past now. We need to work as a team if we are to survive this" Tseng said. Rude and Elena nodded in agreement. "Alright we need a plan." Tseng was interrupted by baby food falling on the floor near by.
"He reached the fortress?" Rude asked in surprise.
"It's an ambush!" Elena yelled. She was right for soon baby food started to rain upon them.
"He tricked us he wasn't throwing the food as hard as he could before to make us get closer" Rude said. That little Reno was a clever baby.
"Retreat!" Tseng never thought he would be saying that word. The Turks did not retreat but this was a special case. They scrambled out of the kitchen being hit by the baby food several times as they ran.
Rufus quietly passed by. "I only wanted to see how things were going but looking at your current state says enough." He continued on his way looking back only once to take one last look at Tseng with a pot on his head and at all three adult Turks covered in baby food.
"He must think we're incapable of handling the situation" Tseng said sounding quite frustrated.
"Are we?" Rude asked unsure.
"This is no time for doubt" Tseng said. He took off his 'helmet and dropped his 'shield'. "I'm going in!" Even if he turned into a baby food snow man he wasn't going to show any fear.
"He's so brave" Elena said as she watched him go.
Tseng ran inside the kitchen. Baby Reno was prepared for the attack. "Give me all you got the leader of the Turks will not be defeated by a little ba-ah!" To challenge little Reno was a bad idea. He threw baby food hitting him right on the face. Tseng didn't see where he was going and stepped on some baby food that was on the floor. He slipped backwards did a funny slippery dance in a futile attempt to regain his balance and landed face up at the foot of Reno's baby chair. Reno dropped the bowl of baby food down at his fallen enemy.
"Tseng!" Elena rushed in and slipped landing on top of Tseng. Still on him she removed the bowl from his face and tried to help clean him up. "Well, at least he is unarmed now." She smiled and tried to look on the bright side. Tseng's brave sacrifice would not be in vane.
Tseng smiled back. At least this defeat would be kept as a secret of the Turks.
"Excuse me, there's a child in the room" Rude said.
Elena turned bright red as did Tseng. She struggled to get off him but that only resulted in more slipping. Finally after many embarrassing, yet oddly enjoyable, failed attempts both Tseng and Elena were on their feet.
"Well, I think the worse is over" Tseng said looking at little Reno. He was wrong, very wrong.
The day was absolutely exhausting for the Turks and they were all too happy when night finally came. They decided that since Rude was Reno's partner he should stay with him. Rude agreed thinking it shouldn't be too much trouble since Reno should be sleeping all night, or at least that's what Rude thought.
Tseng was woken up at two in the morning by the phone. "Hello?" He sheepishly answered it. This better be important. Anything less than an emergency that threatened all of Shinra could wait until morning.
"Can I take Reno to your place?" Rude asked, he sounded positively exhausted.
"Rude? You woke me up to ask me that? Couldn't it wait until morning?" Tseng said annoyed.
"I haven't slept all night. Reno keeps crying for no reason and waking me up" Rude said.
"Why didn't you call Elena? She knows more about babies than I do" Tseng said.
"She said 'Feed him, change his diaper, sing him a lullaby and don't call me again or I'll shoot you tomorrow at work.' She sounded dead serious too" Rude said.
"Not a bad idea" Tseng said.
"I can't do this" Rude said stressing out.
"Alright, the Turks are a team. Survive this one night and tomorrow Elena will take care of him then I will take care of him the night after that" Tseng said. Without waiting for Rude's reply he hung up and disconnected the phone.
The next day was like a copy of the first, expect Reno's aim had improved which meant more baby food in the face of the three grown up Turks. He appeared to be much more energetic even if he didn't sleep and kept Rude awake. At the end of the day the Turks have not gotten any work done and were so tired it felt as if they haven't slept in years.
As expected Reno kept Elena awake all night and the same thing happened with Tseng. By the forth day the Turks were at the end of their patience. "We need a babysitter" Elena said.
Rude suddenly remembered that Cloud and Tifa were taking care of some kids. "Tifa can baby sit!"
"Excellent, you will take Reno to Tifa and request her babysitting services" Tseng decided.
Knowing it would be pointless to argue Rude packed all of Reno's toys and baby supplies, picked up the baby and headed to Tifa's house.
"Tifa!" Rude called in a desperate voice as he went inside. "This is an emergency you have to help." He nearly begged in a very out of character way.
"Rude what's wrong?" Tifa said in alarm fearing the worse. "Is Sephiroth back? Is the planet in danger? What is it?"
"I need a babysitter" Rude said.
Tifa glared. "That's all?"
"This is an emergency! Please take care of him" Rude said handing her the baby. He was now dressed as a kitten that looked like Cait Sith.
Tifa was a little confused. "What are you talking about and who is this little boy?"
"He's Reno" Rude said.
Tifa looked at the child. "Reno? Well h certainly looks like him. Who's the poor unfortunate soul, I mean, if Reno is the father then who's the baby's mother?"
"He's not Reno's son, he is Reno. He had an accident in an old Shinra lab. He should be back to normal in a few days, I hope. Until then could you please take care of him? He's driving the Turks insane" Rude said.
Sure this was Reno, a member of the Turks but he was only a baby now. "Alright I'll take care of him."
"Thank you! Here are his baby things." Rude gave her a bag with all of Reno's baby things. Finally Rude would get some peaceful rest.
"Babye uncle Wude!" Little Reno said.
Rude's mood suddenly changed for the better. Baby Reno wasn't that bad. Maybe he could stand to take care of him for a little longer but he really needed some sleep and Tifa was more experienced in babysitting than he was. "Goodbye Reno. I'll come back to visit soon."
After Rude was gone, Marlene who had heard some voices downstairs curiously went to see what it was about. "Tifa?" Tifa turned to face the girl who then noticed the baby. "A baby! Can I hold him please?"
"Alright just be careful" Tifa said.
"Can Denzel and I play with him? We'll be very careful I promise!" Marlene asked.
"Ok, you can play with him" Tifa answered.
Denzel then came after he thought he heard his name. "Did someone call me? Did Cloud come back?"
"He hasn't come back yet" Tifa said.
"But we have someone new to play with" Marlene said.
"Right, I think you two can take care of him for a while" Tifa said. "Here Denzel these are his toys." She handed him the bag. "His name is Reno."
The two kids went off to play with the baby and all was quiet until Reno wanted a bottle of milk. "Tifa! I think Reno's hungry he won't stop crying and I'm only used to babysitting people around my age" Marlene called.
Denzel realized she was talking about him. "Hey!"
"Coming!" Tifa called. Soon she arrived with a bottle of milk for little Reno. After he finished his milk came the chaos of the baby food war.
"I'm glad we have a baby around" Marlene said happily.
"Yeah, he's fun!" Denzel agreed.
Tifa tried to shield herself with her h and while the children threw baby food at each other. "Stop it all of you! You're making a mess!" But it was useless for Reno had woken up the kids 'inner hyperness' with some hyperness of his own. Unfortunately for Tifa it didn't look like the baby food fight would end any time soon since the kids simply picked up as much as they could into their hands from the floor to throw it again. This has never happened to her before. Usually babysitting was so easy. "Stop!" She yelled at the top of her lungs and if I say her voice echoed all over the city I wouldn't be exaggerating.
Marlene and Denzel dropped their ammunition and stood straight. They looked at Tifa with sad expression realizing they might actually get into trouble for their battle. All was silent for a few seconds until suddenly Reno started crying. If Tifa's voice was heard all over the city, Reno could be heard all over the planet.
Feeling completely helpless Tifa picked up baby Reno and tried to calm him down. "Go get cleaned up" she tried to tell Marlene and Denzel.
"What?" The children asked at the same time.
"Go get cleaned up!" Tifa yelled. Such would be her luck that Reno had quieted down at the precise moment when Tifa yelled trying to be heard over his crying. Had she known this would happen she wouldn't have raised her voice so much. As expected the unnecessary loudness made Reno start crying again loud than before if that was even possible. Tifa moved her head toward the kitchen door gesturing for the children to leave and get cleaned up while she once again tried to end Reno's crying.
It was around that time when Cloud returned to find little baby food foot prints all over the house which he assumed by the size of them were left by Marlene and Denzel. A baby's cries could be heard from outside. In fact he had been hearing a baby crying for a while but had no idea where the loud noise was coming from. "Tifa?" Shielding his ears Cloud went in search of his childhood friend.
Once again Tifa managed to calm Reno's loud cries. She thought she heard Cloud calling but with all the noise she wasn't quite sure. "Cloud?"
Cloud arrived and looked at Tifa who was holding the baby. "When did we adopt another orphan?" He asked half jokingly.
"Mommy" baby Reno said to Tifa.
Cloud looked at the child. "He called you mommy but he looks like Reno." He paused letting his mind run wild with unlikely theories.
"He is Reno" Tifa said.
Cloud opened his eyes wide, his jaw dropped and he began to sweat. "Could you repeat that?" He asked very slowly making a pause after each word.
"He is Reno" Tifa repeated as slow as Cloud had asked. Sure taking care of a baby was a handful. Even more so if that baby was Reno, the most hyper of the Turks. He must have already noticed there would be some difficulties judging by the baby food everywhere but that was not reason enough to get that nervous, surprised and all around freaked out. "Are you alright?" Tifa asked with genuine concern.
"You and Reno have a son?!" Cloud screamed loud enough for Marlene and Denzel to rush down the stairs. They had already finished getting cleaned up.
"He's your son?" Marlene asked curiously.
"When was he born? How come we didn't notice?" Denzel asked.
That's when Cloud's brain decided to jump start after partially recovering from the shock. "That's right I don't remember you ever being pregnant." It didn't make sense but with Shinra involved anything was possible.
"He's not my son!" Tifa yelled loud enough for anyone who had heard Cloud yell before to clear up that misunderstanding.
Cloud took a deep breath filling his lungs with much needed oxygen. He let his breath escape slowly. "Don't scare me like that." With a cheerful smile knowing having that cleared up Cloud took at closer look at the baby. "He really does look a lot like Reno. If you're not his mom then who's the poor unfortunate soul, I mean, his mother, who is his mother?"
Tifa started to explain. "Well, you see this isn't an ordinary baby."
Clouds interrupted in alarm. "You're not going to say that Jenova is his mother, are you? Reno and Jenova had a son? How is that even possible? Is he going to grow up to be like Sephiroth or worse?"
"Cloud, stop jumping to conclusions and let me explain!" Tifa said. Cloud nodded and remained quiet. "Reno had a little accident at an old Shinra lab and this was the result."
"Is it a Reno clone or..." He pauses at the utter creepiness of the possibility. "Reno gave birth? I thought he gained a few pounds."
"No!" Tifa said pushing away the odd image of a pregnant Reno. "What I mean to say is that this is Reno, he was turned into a baby in the accident."
"If that is Reno then why is he here? Shouldn't the Turks be taking care of him?" Cloud asked.
"He was driving them insane" Tifa answered. "As you can see from the state that the walls and floor are in taking care of a baby Reno is not an easy job."
"Yet you agreed to it?" Cloud asked.
"I felt sorry for him" Tifa said.
Cloud extended his arms to take the baby and Tifa gave little Reno to him. "Daddy?"
"I'm not your father. No son of mine would be working for Shinra" Cloud said. Baby Reno looked like he was about to cry. "It's ok don't cry. You can call me daddy if it makes you happy."
"Daddy!" Baby Reno said hugging Cloud.
He couldn't help it but to smile. "You felt sorry for him huh? I guess he's not so bad when he's this little. It's hard to stay mad at him like this."
"Actually I felt sorry for Rude. You should have seen him. I can only imagine the state that Tseng and Elena are in. Even if they are Turks these are hard times from them." Tifa said. "Anyway, now that you're here you can help take care of little Reno. Marlene, Denzel since you two enjoyed the food fight so much you can give me a hand cleaning up this mess while I do the laundry."
A unanimous "aw" was heard from the two kids.
"C'mon it's not so bad. Give Tifa a hand, she works really hard around here." Cloud said feeling a little guilty that he sometimes disappeared for so long.
"Ok, Cloud!" Marlene and Denzel nodded and went to get the necessary materials to clean.
"Cloud, you can give Reno a bath" Tifa said.
"What? Me? Why me?" Cloud complained.
"I'm sure you can handle getting a baby cleaned up, it's not that hard. Besides Marlene and Denzel are helping clean the baby food and I'm doing the laundry. As a part of this family you need to help too." Tifa said.
"Trade chores?" Cloud asked in one last effort to escape giving Reno a bath.
"The last time I trusted you with the washing machine you flooded the house" Tifa reminded him.
"I take it that's a no" Cloud said. "Well it can't be so hard."
"Right, just let me get cleaned up first." With that said Tifa left. She changed her clothes and got cleaned up quickly. Then she picked up the baby food covered clothes the kids left in the bathroom after changing, added her baby food covered cloths and a few other things then went to do the laundry. "Ok, Cloud the bathroom's ready. Don't forget that the water can't be too hot or too cold. Taking care of a baby is challenging enough but taking care of a baby with a cold is a nightmare I don't want to live."
"I'll make sure the water's at a good temperature" Cloud said. He had to be extra careful. He didn't want to imagine what taking care of baby Reno would be like if h had a cold. If even Tifa thought it would be a nightmare then he didn't want to find out.
Soon little Reno was in the bath tub surrounded by bubbles and floating baby toys. He played in the water splashing happily and getting Cloud all wet.
"Sit still so I can wash that baby food off your hair" Cloud said attempting to clean Reno's red hair with a sponge.
But Reno, hyper as he was, would not sit still. He knocked the sponge out of Cloud's hand and laughed.
"C'mon Reno. Stay still so daddy can get you all cleaned up" Cloud said. He didn't believe those words have come out of his mouth. He reached to get the sponge which had fallen in the bath tub leaning in to search for it among the bubbles.
Reno thought Cloud was offering him a piggy back ride and immediately jumped on his adoptive father's head.
Splashing sounds were heard behind the bathroom's door as Tifa walked by with a laundry basket. "Aw, how cute they're playing in the water." She smiled not knowing that Cloud was drowning and walked away happily. Of course Cloud survived but the taste of soap would stay with him for the next few days.
After his bath baby Reno took a nap surrounded by his plushies, a moogle, a chocobo, Cait Sith, Red XIII, Rude and a plushie of himself, etc. Meanwhile Cloud was talking to Tifa about the baby Reno situation. "For how long will he stay a baby?" Cloud asked.
"I don't know" Tifa said. "I guess we'll have to wait and find out."
"Just like that, doesn't it bother you? Don't you find it suspicious?" Cloud asked.
"I don't think there's a plan to take over the world behind this if that's what you're asking" Tifa said. "It's really not that bad. The Turks will recover and come back to pick him up, I'm sure they'll be back for him."
"And you don't mind being his mother until then?" Cloud asked.
Tifa smiled. The baby thought she and Cloud were his parents. "I don't mind. Does it bother you to be his father?" Cloud thought about it. Unknown to them at that precise moment Yuffie entered the house and came within hearing distance. "You don't need to do this if you don't want to."
Cloud smiled in good humor. "I don't mind. Alright Tifa, I'll be the father of your child." But what he said came out a little wrong. What he was trying to say was that he accepted to play along for a few days.
"Wow everyone's been getting together lately!" Yuffie who had been quietly standing at the door said.
Tifa and Cloud looked at her and realized what conclusion she had jumped to. "Yuffie this isn't our baby or anything. We're just babysitting" Tifa explained.
"But you're going to have your own children right? Love is in the air. First Elena and Tseng and now you two" Yuffie said. "I wonder when my prince charming will come for me. I hope he brings materia."
Cloud shook his head. "Forget it Tifa there's no way to make her change her mind. What was that you were saying about the Turks? Are they causing trouble?"
"No, I was just saying that Elena's pregnant. She's having Tseng's baby" Yuffie said.
"Really?" Tifa asked. "How do you know that?"
"I saw them shopping for baby things and she touched her stomach" Yuffie explained.
"That doesn't mean she's pregnant maybe she was hungry or had a stomach ache or something" Cloud said.
"No, I'm certain it's a pregnancy. Why else would they be buying baby things?" Yuffie insisted defending her theory.
"Maybe they were buying them for Reno" Tifa said.
"Reno? Why? Is he pregnant?" Yuffie asked. She received weird looks from Tifa and Cloud before realizing what she said. "I mean is someone having his baby?"
"No, Reno was turned into a baby and the Turks were taking care of him" Tifa explained.
"Wow, Reno got turned into a baby. At least now you two get to practice before having a baby of your own!" Yuffie said happily before running off to search for materia.
"Yuffie!" Tifa and Cloud both yelled at the same time.
After her search proved fruitless Yuffie fallowed the loud noise of a baby crying to find little Reno who had woken up from his nap. "He guys the baby's crying!"
Tifa rushed in. "Mommy!" Reno said happily.
"I'm tired from all the cleaning and Cloud says he would rather keep his distance for a while." Tifa said as she picked up the baby.
"How come? I thought he wanted to practice being a daddy." Yuffie asked.
"He said something about a near death experience and that he didn't want to talk about it. I honestly don't know what in the world he's talking about." Tifa said. Both he and the baby looked perfectly safe. Reno looked happy and Cloud was all wet but a little water couldn't be the cause of his so called near death experience could it? Nah, it was probably nothing.
"Well you know Cloud. He always has his head in the clouds." Yuffie said. "No pun intended."
Tifa laughed. "Could you watch Reno for a while?"
"No problem, leave it to Yuffie!" Tifa gave her the baby and left. "Ok little Reno, auntie Yuffie will tell you the story of the five little piggies, except it'll be the five little Turks. This little Turks is the leader of the Turks" Yuffie said tickling Reno's toe. "This little Turks is the new one who has a crush on the leader. This little Turks is made up because I need five and I only know four. This little Turks is the partner of the next Turks and this little Turks got turned into a baby so auntie Yuffie tickled him!" The sound of a baby laughing soon fallowed.
To be Continued
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