Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
Life Without Me
3 Reviews"Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like without me? Ever had any regrets?” "No." He mumbled simply. Frerard!!! I'm just editing one word, not updating. This is staying a on...
Author’s note: I wrote this before Gerard and Lin-Z were married. You’ll see when you read it.
“Gerard?” the younger man sighed, pulling his lover’s arm from around him. He sat forward and frowned slightly.
“Hmm?”
“Have you…have you ever wondered what your life would have been like without me? Ever had any regrets?” he asked sheepishly, looking away from Gerard’s eyes. He felt those strong arms wrap around his waist once again and he was pulled back against Gerard’s chest.
“No.” He mumbled simply.
“How come? I mean…haven’t you ever thought about what it would be like if you stayed straight?” he asked curiously, snuggling deeper into Gerard’s shirt. There was a long pause in which Gerard just looked across the room.
“I know I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now…why? Have you?” he asked hesitantly.
“A little.” He shrugged.
“And…?”
“And…I’m glad I gave you a chance.” He smiled. “At first I was…a little apprehensive, to say the least. I mean, best friend confesses his feelings?” he laughed slightly. “I’m so happy right now.” He breathed, turning around so that his chest was on Gerard’s and his face was nuzzling his neck. Gerard smiled and kissed the top of his head.
“I wasn’t exactly confident to tell you, baby.” He grinned. “I remember saying ‘that’s it, I’ve had enough of this secrecy, I’m gonna let Frank know just what I feel about him’…”
“Yeah, then I remember saying ‘what?’” Frank laughed.
Gerard smirked. “Then I remember shitting myself cause you overheard me talking out loud.” He said, stroking his boyfriend’s hair gently.
“Then I remember being really confused cause you kept refusing to tell me what you meant.”
“Then I remember you freaking out when I told you.” He said, his voice getting quieter and quieter as he spoke until it was just a mumble.
“I didn’t freak out!” Frank defended, frowning. “That…much…”
“You kidding? You nearly ripped your fucking hair out!” Gerard laughed, stroking Frank’s back.
“I guess…I got a little worked up…” he sighed, smiling slightly.
Flashback
“That’s it, I’ve had enough of this fucking secrecy!” Gerard growled, wringing his hands nervously. “I’m gonna let Frank know just what I feel about him.” He murmured to himself, nodding decisively.
“What?” a voice questioned from behind him. He spun around and his jaw dropped at the sight of a confused-looking Frank.
“Oh…nothing…” Gerard said, shaking his head as nervousness and fear boiled up inside of him.
“No, really, what about me?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he stepped further into the room.
“It-it doesn’t matter, Frank…” he said dismissively.
“No, you said ‘I’m gonna let Frank know just what I think of him’, I wanna know.” He persisted.
“It’s not important!” Gerard muttered, looking away.
“If it’s not important then tell me.” He demanded, puzzlement prominent across his face and laced in his voice.
“N-”
“Goddamnit! I’m getting frustrated now! I swear, Way, you had better tell me exactly what you meant NOW!” he commanded, frowning.
Gerard took a deep breath and crossed the room to Frank. “Frank…” he began under his breath. “I’ve been feeling weird lately…” he continued, looking down to his scuffled boots. “Especially around you…”
“And…” he said slowly, gesturing for Gerard to continue.
“Don’t you fucking get it?” Gerard asked, laughing slightly.
“Uh, no!” he said annoyed. “Just tell me straight out!”
“Frank Anthony Iero…I think I…have a crush…” he paused, chewing on his lip. “On you.” He finished in a whisper. He stole a glance at Frank and automatically wished that he didn’t. Frank’s face showed bewilderment, shock, anger and annoyance.
“You serious?” he asked, his voice sharp and piercing. Gerard just nodded, looking back to the ground. “Aw, fuck! You can’t, Gerard!” he grunted, pacing back and forth.
“I can’t help it!” he growled indignantly, his throat tightening and his heart feeling like it was being crushed.
“Why?” he asked almost angrily.
“Why what?”
“Why do you…have a fucking crush on me?” he inquired, his voice still stabbing.
“You really want me to tell you?” Gerard asked sheepishly, picking at his black nail polish.
“Yes.” He sighed, tugging on his hair.
“It’s…your personality…you’re funny, kind, moral, well balanced in everything. It’s like, you’re not too innocent, but not too dirty, you’re not too cute…not too hot…you’re fucking perfect.” He whispered, hoping with all of his might that Frank didn’t hear him. “You’re beautiful,” he carried on. “You always know just the right things to say to people. You’re smart, but not cocky. You’re modest, but not shy. You’re you. You’re Frank fucking Iero…and you couldn’t be anymore perfect!” he finished bitterly, not trying to keep his voice low anymore. He felt tears develop in his eyes and didn’t dare look up.
“You really think all that?” he heard a whispered voice ask right in his ear, the voice small, vulnerable, shaky and hopeful. Gerard nodded his head, a tear almost escaping eye. “I guess…” he went on, his volume still barely audible. “I guess I could give it a chance…” he mumbled, his arms hanging from Gerard’s neck.
The taller of the two sniffled, pulling back slightly. “Really?” he asked, his voice quivering. Frank looked Gerard in the eye and mumbled ‘mm hmm’ before his lips softly pressed against Gerard’s in a sweet, gentle, tingling kiss.
“Jamia dumped me last night…” Frank whimpered. “But don’t think that’s the only reason I’m giving you a chance. I love you.” He whispered, gripping Gerard tighter as a small tear escaped his eye.
End Flashback
“Yeah, I mean, I was shocked at first. Then I thought you were making fun of me cause of Jamia, THEN I thought it was cause of all the fan girls that you like me, then when you told me all that shit about me…whoa…” he laughed slightly. “But really, Gerard…what would it be like if you were straight?” he asked, laying his head on the older man’s chest.
~*~
“Gerard! Stop it!” Eliza giggled, pushing her husband away from her.
“I just wanna feel him kick!” he laughed, once again placing his hands on Eliza’s stomach.
“He’s asleep!” she said softly, stroking the bump on her tummy.
Gerard smirked and kissed her cheek gently. “You know what parents do when their kids are sleeping?” he murmured, kissing her ear and moving down to her neck. She giggled once again and her fingers ran through Gerard’s hair.
“I know only too well, Mr. Way!” she grinned.
“Well, then, Mrs. Way, why don’t you tell me? I need to recap.” He smirked, lifting the hem of her shirt higher.
~*~
“Gerard!” Frank called again.
“Huh? What?”
“You were just grimacing at something. Seriously, whatever you were daydreaming about, it almost made you throw up!” he laughed, twiddling the hair at the back of Gerard’s neck.
“Eliza…” he muttered, his lip curling.
“Ew!” Frank whispered, sliding off Gerard slowly.
“Hey! Get back here!” the singer chuckled, holding Frank’s waist firmly as he pulled him back onto his chest. “If I was still straight, I’m pretty sure I’d still be with Eliza.”
“But I thought you didn’t love her anymore.” Frank asked, frowning slightly. “That’s why you called the engagement off, wasn’t it? Cause you fell out of love with her?”
“And why do you think I fell out of love with Eliza?” he smiled, holding Frank tighter.
“Cause of me?”
“Hell yeah!” he laughed. “I fell in love with my best friend. How clichéd is that?” he asked, smiling.
“Very! But…I didn’t know that I was the reason you called your engagement off.” He mumbled.
“I’d rather be with you than her. I mean, I’d rather be with Ray than anyone, but…” he teased, grinning.
Frank punched his arm and kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna remember you said that.” He grinned. “Y’know, next time you’re in the mood, I’ll just say ‘ask Ray…’”
His lover smiled. “C’mon, I was kidding.” He chuckled.
“So was I. You really think I’d pass up a chance to make love to you?” he asked, snuggling into Gerard’s neck.
“Frank, baby?” Gerard whispered, his hand running up and down Frank’s thigh.
“Hmm?”
“I’m in the mood…” he smirked.
“Gerard?” the younger man sighed, pulling his lover’s arm from around him. He sat forward and frowned slightly.
“Hmm?”
“Have you…have you ever wondered what your life would have been like without me? Ever had any regrets?” he asked sheepishly, looking away from Gerard’s eyes. He felt those strong arms wrap around his waist once again and he was pulled back against Gerard’s chest.
“No.” He mumbled simply.
“How come? I mean…haven’t you ever thought about what it would be like if you stayed straight?” he asked curiously, snuggling deeper into Gerard’s shirt. There was a long pause in which Gerard just looked across the room.
“I know I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now…why? Have you?” he asked hesitantly.
“A little.” He shrugged.
“And…?”
“And…I’m glad I gave you a chance.” He smiled. “At first I was…a little apprehensive, to say the least. I mean, best friend confesses his feelings?” he laughed slightly. “I’m so happy right now.” He breathed, turning around so that his chest was on Gerard’s and his face was nuzzling his neck. Gerard smiled and kissed the top of his head.
“I wasn’t exactly confident to tell you, baby.” He grinned. “I remember saying ‘that’s it, I’ve had enough of this secrecy, I’m gonna let Frank know just what I feel about him’…”
“Yeah, then I remember saying ‘what?’” Frank laughed.
Gerard smirked. “Then I remember shitting myself cause you overheard me talking out loud.” He said, stroking his boyfriend’s hair gently.
“Then I remember being really confused cause you kept refusing to tell me what you meant.”
“Then I remember you freaking out when I told you.” He said, his voice getting quieter and quieter as he spoke until it was just a mumble.
“I didn’t freak out!” Frank defended, frowning. “That…much…”
“You kidding? You nearly ripped your fucking hair out!” Gerard laughed, stroking Frank’s back.
“I guess…I got a little worked up…” he sighed, smiling slightly.
Flashback
“That’s it, I’ve had enough of this fucking secrecy!” Gerard growled, wringing his hands nervously. “I’m gonna let Frank know just what I feel about him.” He murmured to himself, nodding decisively.
“What?” a voice questioned from behind him. He spun around and his jaw dropped at the sight of a confused-looking Frank.
“Oh…nothing…” Gerard said, shaking his head as nervousness and fear boiled up inside of him.
“No, really, what about me?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he stepped further into the room.
“It-it doesn’t matter, Frank…” he said dismissively.
“No, you said ‘I’m gonna let Frank know just what I think of him’, I wanna know.” He persisted.
“It’s not important!” Gerard muttered, looking away.
“If it’s not important then tell me.” He demanded, puzzlement prominent across his face and laced in his voice.
“N-”
“Goddamnit! I’m getting frustrated now! I swear, Way, you had better tell me exactly what you meant NOW!” he commanded, frowning.
Gerard took a deep breath and crossed the room to Frank. “Frank…” he began under his breath. “I’ve been feeling weird lately…” he continued, looking down to his scuffled boots. “Especially around you…”
“And…” he said slowly, gesturing for Gerard to continue.
“Don’t you fucking get it?” Gerard asked, laughing slightly.
“Uh, no!” he said annoyed. “Just tell me straight out!”
“Frank Anthony Iero…I think I…have a crush…” he paused, chewing on his lip. “On you.” He finished in a whisper. He stole a glance at Frank and automatically wished that he didn’t. Frank’s face showed bewilderment, shock, anger and annoyance.
“You serious?” he asked, his voice sharp and piercing. Gerard just nodded, looking back to the ground. “Aw, fuck! You can’t, Gerard!” he grunted, pacing back and forth.
“I can’t help it!” he growled indignantly, his throat tightening and his heart feeling like it was being crushed.
“Why?” he asked almost angrily.
“Why what?”
“Why do you…have a fucking crush on me?” he inquired, his voice still stabbing.
“You really want me to tell you?” Gerard asked sheepishly, picking at his black nail polish.
“Yes.” He sighed, tugging on his hair.
“It’s…your personality…you’re funny, kind, moral, well balanced in everything. It’s like, you’re not too innocent, but not too dirty, you’re not too cute…not too hot…you’re fucking perfect.” He whispered, hoping with all of his might that Frank didn’t hear him. “You’re beautiful,” he carried on. “You always know just the right things to say to people. You’re smart, but not cocky. You’re modest, but not shy. You’re you. You’re Frank fucking Iero…and you couldn’t be anymore perfect!” he finished bitterly, not trying to keep his voice low anymore. He felt tears develop in his eyes and didn’t dare look up.
“You really think all that?” he heard a whispered voice ask right in his ear, the voice small, vulnerable, shaky and hopeful. Gerard nodded his head, a tear almost escaping eye. “I guess…” he went on, his volume still barely audible. “I guess I could give it a chance…” he mumbled, his arms hanging from Gerard’s neck.
The taller of the two sniffled, pulling back slightly. “Really?” he asked, his voice quivering. Frank looked Gerard in the eye and mumbled ‘mm hmm’ before his lips softly pressed against Gerard’s in a sweet, gentle, tingling kiss.
“Jamia dumped me last night…” Frank whimpered. “But don’t think that’s the only reason I’m giving you a chance. I love you.” He whispered, gripping Gerard tighter as a small tear escaped his eye.
End Flashback
“Yeah, I mean, I was shocked at first. Then I thought you were making fun of me cause of Jamia, THEN I thought it was cause of all the fan girls that you like me, then when you told me all that shit about me…whoa…” he laughed slightly. “But really, Gerard…what would it be like if you were straight?” he asked, laying his head on the older man’s chest.
~*~
“Gerard! Stop it!” Eliza giggled, pushing her husband away from her.
“I just wanna feel him kick!” he laughed, once again placing his hands on Eliza’s stomach.
“He’s asleep!” she said softly, stroking the bump on her tummy.
Gerard smirked and kissed her cheek gently. “You know what parents do when their kids are sleeping?” he murmured, kissing her ear and moving down to her neck. She giggled once again and her fingers ran through Gerard’s hair.
“I know only too well, Mr. Way!” she grinned.
“Well, then, Mrs. Way, why don’t you tell me? I need to recap.” He smirked, lifting the hem of her shirt higher.
~*~
“Gerard!” Frank called again.
“Huh? What?”
“You were just grimacing at something. Seriously, whatever you were daydreaming about, it almost made you throw up!” he laughed, twiddling the hair at the back of Gerard’s neck.
“Eliza…” he muttered, his lip curling.
“Ew!” Frank whispered, sliding off Gerard slowly.
“Hey! Get back here!” the singer chuckled, holding Frank’s waist firmly as he pulled him back onto his chest. “If I was still straight, I’m pretty sure I’d still be with Eliza.”
“But I thought you didn’t love her anymore.” Frank asked, frowning slightly. “That’s why you called the engagement off, wasn’t it? Cause you fell out of love with her?”
“And why do you think I fell out of love with Eliza?” he smiled, holding Frank tighter.
“Cause of me?”
“Hell yeah!” he laughed. “I fell in love with my best friend. How clichéd is that?” he asked, smiling.
“Very! But…I didn’t know that I was the reason you called your engagement off.” He mumbled.
“I’d rather be with you than her. I mean, I’d rather be with Ray than anyone, but…” he teased, grinning.
Frank punched his arm and kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna remember you said that.” He grinned. “Y’know, next time you’re in the mood, I’ll just say ‘ask Ray…’”
His lover smiled. “C’mon, I was kidding.” He chuckled.
“So was I. You really think I’d pass up a chance to make love to you?” he asked, snuggling into Gerard’s neck.
“Frank, baby?” Gerard whispered, his hand running up and down Frank’s thigh.
“Hmm?”
“I’m in the mood…” he smirked.
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