Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
What do you see when you see me?
0 ReviewsOne-shot. Ryan Ross. "Wonder what would happen if I never left"
I'll always be just who you want me to be
A hopeless romantic
I never would have imagined that it would happen at the place that I long forgot about. I wasn't even sure why was I walking there in a first place. But there I was, standing alone in the frisky Vegas night at the courtyard of the University of Nevada. Reminiscing, I guess.
I dragged my feet lazily across the pavement, looking at the building and remembering the old times. My mind went blank when I heard a noise coming from the other side of the campus. A couple of girls were running from each other. At first, I tried to ignore them, but then I saw her.
She was running, head turned back looking at her friend that chased her. I wondered when and what will she hit, she wasn't seeing where she was going. She was laughing like crazy, glancing occasionally in front, just to see where she was running. I kept watching from my spot on the bench. Her long hair flaunting on the light breeze, like a halo around her head.
Step by step, she was running my way. Laughing she hid behind me from her friend. A couple of girls ran by, not realizing I was there nor that she was behind me. When sure that they left, she walked and sat next to me.
I'd like to make myself believe that Earth turns slowly. And, when she looked at me, the whole world stopped spinning. I lost myself in her eyes. She was so close, I felt her breath against my skin, tickling, inviting. My heart increased its race to a hummingbird level.
"Are you a professor here?" she asked. Her voice was like a voice from an angel. So sweet.
"Do I look that old?" I responded, trying to sound offended, but smiling nevertheless.
"No. But you sure dress as one." She smiled, her laugh ringing in my ear. I smiled too.
"I'm not. Just passing by. You know I used to be student here, but I dropped out," I said squinting my eyes in disbelief. She was either a very good actress or she really had no idea who I was.
"I'm a psychology major," she said shrugging her shoulders. "And you seem like a guy that needs a good conversation. Here." She moved her hand my way, revealing a pack of cigarettes with a tiny scribbling on it. It was her number.
What kind of a girl gives away her number to a complete stranger?
"What …"
"Call me if you want someone to talk to," she said and winked at me, before running away.
I looked at the pack, than in the way she ran to. She was one strange girl. And I was very much attracted to her.
My apartment seemed so cold and distant. I placed my keys on the table next to the bed and walked out on the balcony. A mass of people was moving. Just another typical Vegas night.
I heard a laugh. I smiled.
I heard a cry. I frowned.
Another laugh and another cry.
The city was very bipolar, and it was hard following its tempo. It may cause a severe case of a headache. I sat at the chair, still looking at the city, and how amazing it looked covered with the night sky, while bright, neon lights were wriggling washing it in light. So contradictable to itself.
Smoking cigarettes in the afterglow
Taking bets that the Sun won't rise
I reached to my pocket taking a pack and lighting a cigarette. I felt the smoke filling my lungs and exhaled. My eyes landed on a scribbling so small and so delicate.
I picked up a phone and entered the numbers from the pack. I waited for a while, but there was no answer. I felt so stupid for calling her. I hated myself, because it was my fault I was feeling that way. I was about to give up when a voice from the other side of the line convinced me not to.
"Hello?"
I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say to her. Why was I calling? Will she think I am some sort of a creep?
"Listen buddy, if you don't say who you are I'm gonna…"
"It's me. The guy you from the bench at the campus," I finally gathered the courage and spoke.
"Hey."
"Hi."
We sat in silence for a while, each of us from our side of the line, not saying a word.
"Would you like to come over?" I said.
Now she'll definitely think I'm some sort of a creep.
"Sure," she answered. I couldn't believe my ears and what I was hearing. But, nevertheless I told her my address and hung up.
And for the second time that night I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my body. I was excited like little kid on Christmas. I didn't knew what to expect from this girl, I didn't knew what she was expecting from me. I didn't knew was she even expecting something from me.
There was a light knock on the door. I rushed to open it, but then refrain myself from doing it. I didn't wanted to seam eager, even if I was. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, as if I didn't care less.
And she stood there, all beautiful holding a six-pack and cigarettes in one and a chocolate cake in the other hand. And that night we spent talking. I felt like I have known her my entire life. And the Sun was rising. And that morning we had sex. The most amazing, sweaty, hot wonderful sex. And I never wanted it to end.
Her touch was intoxicating; her kisses made me crave for more. She tasted like sugar and smoke, her skin so delicate rubbing against mine, her moans and the way she bit her lip and the way she was holding onto the bed sheets. I remembered everything about her. And I cherished every memory we made together.
The way she would scream my name, the way she would arch her back and curled her toes; all the little things I loved about her.
She loved listening the music while sitting in the bathtub surrounded by the million bubbles; she said it makes her relax. She loved dressing like Pat Benatar or Cindy Lauper or Stevie Nicks sometimes and dance around the room, singing loudly and off-key; she said she didn't mind if someone would complain, it made her feel happy. She loved curling up beside me on a rainy day, watching me write; she often said that I was a very troubled person and loved to psycho-analyze me.
I liked listening to her voice. She told me I was a tortured soul, a dead poet and a kid wanting attention. She told me she liked the way I write, pouring myself into my writings. It made her feel like traveling into a different world.
And I kissed her sweet lips. And her hands traveled up my arms. And we had sex. And she moaned, screamed, arched her back and curled her toes. All the little things I loved about her. All the little things I cherished.
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
And one day I found her singing along with the radio to a song I thought I would never hear again. I watch her as she spoke the words, with the same amount of hate and regret as it was written. Singing along with the voice, I missed so much; with the familiar drumming, I loved listening. And I found myself missing those times.
"Ryan what's wrong?" she asked, the song echoing in the back.
"Nothing," I said. And it was the truth. I wasn't allowed to feel that way. Because it was me who left. I vacated. I took a deep breath and soon enough the feelings left, the same way they went rushing back.
She didn't knew who I really was. She didn't knew the kid from the song. That kid got lost a long time ago, and it will never come back. I didn't wanted for it to come back. I wanted to have a new life, new memories.
And with her it was all possible.
She was my saving grace.
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the girl
A hopeless romantic
I never would have imagined that it would happen at the place that I long forgot about. I wasn't even sure why was I walking there in a first place. But there I was, standing alone in the frisky Vegas night at the courtyard of the University of Nevada. Reminiscing, I guess.
I dragged my feet lazily across the pavement, looking at the building and remembering the old times. My mind went blank when I heard a noise coming from the other side of the campus. A couple of girls were running from each other. At first, I tried to ignore them, but then I saw her.
She was running, head turned back looking at her friend that chased her. I wondered when and what will she hit, she wasn't seeing where she was going. She was laughing like crazy, glancing occasionally in front, just to see where she was running. I kept watching from my spot on the bench. Her long hair flaunting on the light breeze, like a halo around her head.
Step by step, she was running my way. Laughing she hid behind me from her friend. A couple of girls ran by, not realizing I was there nor that she was behind me. When sure that they left, she walked and sat next to me.
I'd like to make myself believe that Earth turns slowly. And, when she looked at me, the whole world stopped spinning. I lost myself in her eyes. She was so close, I felt her breath against my skin, tickling, inviting. My heart increased its race to a hummingbird level.
"Are you a professor here?" she asked. Her voice was like a voice from an angel. So sweet.
"Do I look that old?" I responded, trying to sound offended, but smiling nevertheless.
"No. But you sure dress as one." She smiled, her laugh ringing in my ear. I smiled too.
"I'm not. Just passing by. You know I used to be student here, but I dropped out," I said squinting my eyes in disbelief. She was either a very good actress or she really had no idea who I was.
"I'm a psychology major," she said shrugging her shoulders. "And you seem like a guy that needs a good conversation. Here." She moved her hand my way, revealing a pack of cigarettes with a tiny scribbling on it. It was her number.
What kind of a girl gives away her number to a complete stranger?
"What …"
"Call me if you want someone to talk to," she said and winked at me, before running away.
I looked at the pack, than in the way she ran to. She was one strange girl. And I was very much attracted to her.
My apartment seemed so cold and distant. I placed my keys on the table next to the bed and walked out on the balcony. A mass of people was moving. Just another typical Vegas night.
I heard a laugh. I smiled.
I heard a cry. I frowned.
Another laugh and another cry.
The city was very bipolar, and it was hard following its tempo. It may cause a severe case of a headache. I sat at the chair, still looking at the city, and how amazing it looked covered with the night sky, while bright, neon lights were wriggling washing it in light. So contradictable to itself.
Smoking cigarettes in the afterglow
Taking bets that the Sun won't rise
I reached to my pocket taking a pack and lighting a cigarette. I felt the smoke filling my lungs and exhaled. My eyes landed on a scribbling so small and so delicate.
I picked up a phone and entered the numbers from the pack. I waited for a while, but there was no answer. I felt so stupid for calling her. I hated myself, because it was my fault I was feeling that way. I was about to give up when a voice from the other side of the line convinced me not to.
"Hello?"
I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say to her. Why was I calling? Will she think I am some sort of a creep?
"Listen buddy, if you don't say who you are I'm gonna…"
"It's me. The guy you from the bench at the campus," I finally gathered the courage and spoke.
"Hey."
"Hi."
We sat in silence for a while, each of us from our side of the line, not saying a word.
"Would you like to come over?" I said.
Now she'll definitely think I'm some sort of a creep.
"Sure," she answered. I couldn't believe my ears and what I was hearing. But, nevertheless I told her my address and hung up.
And for the second time that night I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my body. I was excited like little kid on Christmas. I didn't knew what to expect from this girl, I didn't knew what she was expecting from me. I didn't knew was she even expecting something from me.
There was a light knock on the door. I rushed to open it, but then refrain myself from doing it. I didn't wanted to seam eager, even if I was. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, as if I didn't care less.
And she stood there, all beautiful holding a six-pack and cigarettes in one and a chocolate cake in the other hand. And that night we spent talking. I felt like I have known her my entire life. And the Sun was rising. And that morning we had sex. The most amazing, sweaty, hot wonderful sex. And I never wanted it to end.
Her touch was intoxicating; her kisses made me crave for more. She tasted like sugar and smoke, her skin so delicate rubbing against mine, her moans and the way she bit her lip and the way she was holding onto the bed sheets. I remembered everything about her. And I cherished every memory we made together.
The way she would scream my name, the way she would arch her back and curled her toes; all the little things I loved about her.
She loved listening the music while sitting in the bathtub surrounded by the million bubbles; she said it makes her relax. She loved dressing like Pat Benatar or Cindy Lauper or Stevie Nicks sometimes and dance around the room, singing loudly and off-key; she said she didn't mind if someone would complain, it made her feel happy. She loved curling up beside me on a rainy day, watching me write; she often said that I was a very troubled person and loved to psycho-analyze me.
I liked listening to her voice. She told me I was a tortured soul, a dead poet and a kid wanting attention. She told me she liked the way I write, pouring myself into my writings. It made her feel like traveling into a different world.
And I kissed her sweet lips. And her hands traveled up my arms. And we had sex. And she moaned, screamed, arched her back and curled her toes. All the little things I loved about her. All the little things I cherished.
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
And one day I found her singing along with the radio to a song I thought I would never hear again. I watch her as she spoke the words, with the same amount of hate and regret as it was written. Singing along with the voice, I missed so much; with the familiar drumming, I loved listening. And I found myself missing those times.
"Ryan what's wrong?" she asked, the song echoing in the back.
"Nothing," I said. And it was the truth. I wasn't allowed to feel that way. Because it was me who left. I vacated. I took a deep breath and soon enough the feelings left, the same way they went rushing back.
She didn't knew who I really was. She didn't knew the kid from the song. That kid got lost a long time ago, and it will never come back. I didn't wanted for it to come back. I wanted to have a new life, new memories.
And with her it was all possible.
She was my saving grace.
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the girl
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