Categories > Books > Harry Potter

Harry Potter and the Curse of a Soul

by haseeb929

What if the Horcrux Harry had in his head had a bigger affect on him than we realized? Harry dies but is given a second chance to set things right and to maybe live life a little bit better than th...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters: Dumbledore,Harry,Hermione,Professor McGonagall,Snape,Voldemort - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2009-04-04 - Updated: 2009-04-05 - 4382 words

?Blocked
Prologue

The creature behind them jerked and moaned, and Harry and Dumbledore sat without talking for the longest time yet. The realization of what would happen next settled gradually over Harry in the long minutes, like softly falling snow.

“I’ve got to go back, haven’t I?”

“That is up to you.”

“I’ve got a choice?”

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Chapter 35, Page 722

“NO YOU DO NOT.”

The voice that said that seemed to come from everywhere and yet nowhere at the same time. The area surrounding Dumbledore and Harry transformed from the image of Kings Cross into a courtroom. Eerily, it looked exactly like the courtroom Harry was in when he was on trial in front of the Wizengamot before the start of his fifth year. Out of nowhere two chairs appeared behind Harry and Dumbledore knocking them both into the chairs. Chains wrapped around Dumbledore’s body tying him securely that he couldn’t even move an inch. The more he struggled the tighter the chains got. Inversely Harry was not bound like Dumbledore but he could not get out of his chair.

Harry turned to look at Dumbledore and felt a wave of satisfaction wash over him seeing the “Leader of the Light” chained like a common criminal. Ever since fifth year he had grown even more angry at the way Dumbledore acted, especially with the way he treated him with his upbringing if one could call it that and how he manipulated him to do what he wanted all for what he believed to be “THE GREATER GOOD.”

Harry looked at the front of the courtroom where the panel of judges is placed. There were three people sitting there. An old man with white hair and bright blue eyes sat in the middle and on either side of him sat two beautiful women who looked exactly alike with pitch black hair and piercing dark blue almost black eyes staring down at him and their rather shapely figures reminded Harry of Hermione.

“Where are we? Who are you? What’s going on?” questioned Harry blurting out curious as to what is happening.

“You wouldn’t even be able to understand where here is but suffice it to say we are known as the panel and it is here where we will determine your fate and where you go from here.” Said the old man whose voice sounded full of ancient unbridled power.

“What do you mean decide our fate?” choked out Dumbledore still restrained to the chair.

It was not the old man who answered but the women on either side of him talking in unison. “Usually you would be brought to a check-in station to be registered and then taken to your place in the afterlife but due to the rituals you used we are forced to intervene to determine what the appropriate punishment would be.”

As the twins were talking Harry saw Dumbledore’s face paling with every word. Rituals? As in more than one that has to do with death? What are they talking about? Harry wondered confused as hell.

The old man whose sole focus was on Dumbledore answered Harry’s unasked questions feeling the questioning gaze on him.

“The rituals he performed are not unlike the process to make a Horcrux. Instead of murdering someone in cold blood and then splitting his soul and putting it in an object the ritual he used a ritual that divided his very essence from his soul and placed it someplace only a certain type of person with specific blood can access it. ”

“I thought essence and soul was the same thing? ……Aren’t they?” questioned Harry.

“No. The soul is by definition is usually thought to consist of one's thought’s and personality. Essence by definition is the inherent nature of a thing or idea. A person’s soul is needed to organize and sort out a person’s feelings and idea’s. Essence is where the ideas and thoughts are originally formed. Essence is needed to create ideas but the soul is needed to organize and execute it. They work in perfect harmony with one another. Without one the other can survive but the person would be incomplete. Without essence a person cannot create new ideas and cannot properly understand feelings. They will just use their minds to work on ideas that have already existed but cannot change and adapt to a new situation. Inversely without a soul the opposite occur. They can create and understand feelings they have but cannot possibly express their ideas and implement them."

The old man paused here for a moment asking if he was following along.

"So far."

"Good. Now to divide essence from the soul a person must sacrifice not the life of another in premeditated murder like the Horcrux ritual but the most important gift that person values above all else. For your Headmaster it was his magic. When he attempted to destroy the Horcrux his wand hand was destroyed in the process and his magic was weakened considerably. Then the essence must be placed in an object of the person’s own creation that can sustain the essence. Notice I said that it has to be placed in an object of the person’s own creation. This is because when a person constructs it they pour a bit of themselves in it unknowingly. Also the object in question must be strong enough to hold the essence onto this plane of existence otherwise it would dissipate if it has no anchor. Does that answer your questions?”

Harry could only nod affirmatively.

“Good. Now, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore as Head Judge it is my duty to sentence you. For being found guilty in using the Diripio Substantia Animus(tear apart essence and soul) ritual you are hereby sentenced with no possibility of parole to spend the rest of eternity locked in limbo never to move on to the next plane of existence. Dismissed.” As soon as the old man banged the gavel a hole appeared under Dumbledore and he fell through yelling. The hole closed up and there was silence yet again.

Harry was shocked at what happened. Words couldn’t describe what he was feeling. Stupefied, Harry faced the panel once again wondering what is going to happen to him now. A feeling of fear encompassed Harry unlike anything he has ever felt before. Not even the combined terror of Voldemort, Dementers, Death Eaters, Basiliks, Boggarts, and Giants could conjure a fraction of the level of fright he was experiencing right now. If Dumbledore who spend most of his life fighting for the side of good could be so easily sentenced to purgatory then what chance did he have.

“Relax Harry Potter. You will not have the same fate as your headmaster. Unlike him you are an honorable and good man. You have survived through trials that would have destroyed others and turned them evil and yet through all the pain and torment you managed to not succumb to the darkness. Especially with the horcrux inside of you.” Said the twins who managed to sooth Harry’s fear with their angelic voices. But one thing was bothering him……….

“What do you mean especially the Horcrux in my scar? I thought that it wasn’t active like the other Horcrux’s.” asked a bewildered Harry.

“Just because it did not try to take over you does not make it inactive.” Replied the old man. “The portion of the soul that was in your scar caused you essence and soul to be uneven. I told you that a person’s essence needs to be with his soul otherwise it could cause problems. Due to the fact that your soul was greater than your essence you could not properly understand certain ideas and feelings. In turn that caused you to overlook certain thoughts and positions. Ms. Granger for example was one of the biggest outlooks that you overlooked.”

“I’ve never overlooked Hermione. She’s my best friend. I would never hurt her.” Retorted Harry angry at the old man’s words that insinuated that he didn’t care about Hermione.

The old man did not look perturbed in the slightest.

“If that is true then why did you not realize that she is in love with you? Why did you then choose Ron over her almost every time? Just because he was the first person your age to be nice to you? She always stood by you no matter what the situation was even when you were angry with her. She believed you about you not entering your name in that stupid tri-wizard tournament when Ron your supposed best friend wouldn't even give you a second look. She took all your temper tantrums and moods even though it hurt her when you directed it at her. She took it all without complaint and she did that because she was in love with you. She cared more about your well being than hers. She erased her parents memory intentionally and sent them away knowing with a good chance that they would never forgive her because she could not bear leaving you. To her you are her everything, her whole world. You may not believe it but it is because of you that she has learned to see life especially hers through better eyes. You unknowingly showed her that there is more to life than just being smart and reading books. She fell in love with Harry Potter the person not the hero even though you are one even if you don’t believe it. She fell for the boy that was her best friend, who never gave up no matter what and tried to do the right thing though it wasn’t always the easiest thing.”

Though the old man spoke calmly like it was an everyday occurrence Harry felt like he got hit with a stunning spell. He wanted to refute that. He wanted to yell out at the old man and say he was wrong but knew he was right. How could he not have seen it before? She was always there for me and never doubted me. She stood by me when no one else would and all I did was take her support and help for granted.

“How come I didn’t see it before? Why was I unable to realize what I had all along? I should have noticed it before? Why? WHY? OH GOD I’m SO SORRY Hermione. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” Harry babbled uncontrollably tears streaking down his face at the pain he caused his best friend who he realized is the woman he loves more than everything and realizes it's too late for him to do anything about it. The panel of judges just sat their quietly letting the young man in front of them pour out his frustrations.

After a while Harry’s sobs subsided but the desolate look in his eyes did not fade.

“So, are you going to sentence me to hell? I deserve it for how I treated Hermione. I was such a bastard to her. I don’t deserve her forgiveness or love. So just get it over with.” Harry said tonelessly having all emotion other than guilt and pain drained out of him.

“You should understand young Potter that the reason you did not realize your love for Miss Granger was partly due to the Horcrux and the way you were raised. It was not all your fault that you did not recognize the signs. The only examples of love you have seen are ones at school and the Weasley’s. Teenagers rarely understand true love and at that stage in life they follow their glands more than their hearts especially boys. As for the Weasley family their idea of love is the type typical of all pureblood families even if they didn’t follow all their traditions. To most purebloods status is important and so is wealth. A person is only loved in a pureblood home by what they can provide to the family. If they cannot bring anything of value to their family then they are cast out" said the twin to the right of he Old man.

"Did you know that the Weasley twins were almost cast out of their families because their parents believed that they had no value and only caused pranks? One of a pureblood wizard’s worst fears is to be cast out of their family. To them a name is a very important commodity. That was why they decided to try and trick you so they can have money to start a joke shop. They also gave some of the money you gave them to their parents in hopes that they would not be cast out. ” Finished the twin to the left who until then were silent and the sound of their voices relaxed and soothed Harry much like the way Fawkes did.

“Are you telling me that Fred and George tricked me into giving them my tri-wizard winnings?” said Harry incredulously hardly believing that Fred and George could do that to him.

“Yes that is what we are saying. They went to Dumbledore and asked him to help them get money for their joke shop. He told them that they should try and take money from you since your family has a sizable wealth and that you do not need it. They asked their older brother Bill about your Gringotts vault value and knew you had the money for it. They couldn’t just ask you for it because it would interfere with their parents plan to get a hold of your vault and all the gold that was inside. When the found out that the tri-wizard tournament was taking place and the prize would be 1,000 galleons they decided to try and enter. As you know they failed but when your name came out they realized they still had a shot of obtaining the prize money. While in front of you they would act supportive and trustful behind your back they would spread lies about how you were boasting that you fooled everyone and entered on purpose for more fame and glory. They would also drop hints about how they wanted to open up a joke shop but didn’t have the funding available. You in your act of kindness gave them your prize money."

Harry just sat there with a stunned expression on his face. It can't be true........... can it?

"And let us not also forget the rest of the Weasley family." Said the woman on the old man's right.

"Arthur and Molly Weasley were tired of living in poverty and wanted to live as purebloods should. When Dumbledore approached them about introducing young Ronald Weasley to you they concocted a plan that would allow them to take your gold. After you reduced Tom Riddle to spirit form the first time you were given rewards that included money, properties and even marriage contracts. Given that the Potter’s were a reasonably well off family and were already respected in the wizarding community the prestige only increased after your defeat of Tom Riddle. They decided that you would have to fall in love with their youngest daughter and have a best friend/brother type bond with their son Ronald. They wanted to make it so that you would think of the Weasley’s as your surrogate family and would want to do anything for them." the old Man said.

"Percy on orders of Dumbledore was told to cut ties with his family and align himself with the ministry and be a part of Fudge’s crowd. It was also on Dumbledore’s orders that Percy would give highly edited and fabricated stories to the Minister about you. Bill and Charlie were to be the cool older brothers that you would look up to. It worked for the most part. They dosed you with different lust potions at first that would increase in intensity so it would look less suspicious if you actually declared your undying love to Ginny. The told Ginny what her part was and she agreed to it with the approval of Dumbledore that he remains aligned with a light family.” Explained the twins in an odd stereo affect.

At first Harry didn’t want to believe what they were saying is true but the more he thought about it the more it made sense. Meeting them at Kings Cross when they could have flooed in, the Christmas presents from people he met only once, to “rescuing” him from the Dursley’s, the Firebolt and Ron’s verbal attack on Hermione, the jealousy during fourth year, Harry dating Cho in fifth even if Ron didn’t say it but the look in his eyes when he realized Harry had a hot girlfriend and he didn’t, being named Quidditch captain during sixth year. Did anybody even like me for me?

“Yes. Don’t forget Hermione loved you for you.” Replied the Old man.

“What about Sirius and Remus?” questioned Harry dreading what the answer could be.

“Remus was a weak-willed man who was constantly afraid of himself. He never accepted the wolf in him and because of that made him susceptible to outside influence. When Dumbledore told Remus he could not see you for your safety he accepted it right away. He never questioned about your health afterwards or even inquired to how you were doing. Remus was said to be one of your parents’ best friends, almost a brother to your father and a sister to Lily. So, he would have known about Petunia and her hatred of all things magical. He would have known that there was a high probability that growing up with the Dursleys you would be beaten, abused, starved and generally treated like a house elf. So why wasn’t he there when you needed him? When you needed the support of a substitute uncle, or a godfather, or even a friend? Where was he? He didn’t want the responsibility so he ran away and only came back when Dumbledore allowed it; otherwise he would have just stayed away. Also during your fourth year when everyone turned on you and said you tricked your way into the tournament never mind that prior to that you have always been honest and noble. You may have redirected questions, or not answered, but you have never lied to anyone. Remus was under Dumbledore’s order not to contact you because he believed that you would need the experience harden you.”

“And Sirius?”

“Sirius…. He did care about you that is true but the years in Azkaban altered his perception of reality. A person even if they are innocent can't spend a s much time around a dementor and not be affected. Because you look a lot like your father Sirius's mind replaced the image of you with James and treated you more like your father than you.”

“Oh.” Said Harry. While it hurt that Remus was so easily led by Dumbledore it was hearing that Azkaban made Sirius a little unhinged that hurt so much more. That he saw him as his father and not as Harry really broke his heart. But as he realized that he remembered that at least Hermione loved him for him that made him know that he could survive the pain. It may only make him feel slightly better right know but maybe one day the pain will stop.

“I mean it’s great that your telling me all this but what’s the point. I’m dead now and as you said I can’t go back.”

“I never said that. Actually what I said was that you didn’t have a choice to go back. The choice lies entirely with us and we are prepared to send you back.” Replied the old man.

Harry leapt out of his seat yelling out joyously that he could go back to finish Tom but more importantly back to Hermione.

“Yes, yes I understand your exuberant reaction is due to the news but please refrain yourself from repeating the acts until you have heard why we are sending you back Harry Potter.”

Harry immediately quieted down and sat attentively not unlike a certain bushy haired woman he knew.

“The reason why we are sending you back is due to the fact that you did not die properly.” Said the old man like he was saying you answered a question wrong.

Meanwhile Harry was thinking that the old man is off his rocker. Die properly? You can’t die anymore properly than getting hit by the Avada Kedavra curse.

“I see that you are confused. Let me explain and you will understand. On October 31, 1981 Tom Riddle came to your place of residence with the intention of killing all the inhabitants inside. He managed to kill your father and made his way upstairs. Your mother pleaded with him to spare you and take her instead. Her exact words were “Kill me instead” and he agreed but then he turned his wand on you with the intent to kill you. He prepared the Horcrux ritual and sent the killing curse at you. To properly separate a soul into pieces cold blooded murder is necessary because with murder the soul becomes unstable for a few minutes. Only the killing curse can be used in the Horcrux ritual since it deals with destroying the soul. Anyway…..”

“Wait. What do you mean it destroys the soul?”

“The Avada Kedavra curse was specifically created to be used in the Horcrux ritual. When a person is hit by a killing curse their soul is pushed out of the body and once it is separated from its essence that person dies. That is why there are never any physical signs on the body. The killing curse deals with removing the spirit of a person from its body. Like I was saying, once the killing curse is cast in conjunction to the Horcrux ritual the soul of the person hit does not die right away instead the soul hit with the killing curse is then used to cut a piece of the soul off and place it in a container. That is one of the main reasons why Tom Riddle did the ritual on situations he deemed important to him."

"Fortunately for you Tom Riddle did not take into account the rules of magic concerning contracts. He by accident placed himself in a contract with your mother right before he killed her. He made a deal with her by agreeing to kill her and not you though not in those words but the intent was clear. Magic focuses on the intent first then the words second. By breaching the contract he violated the terms and magic decided to exact the appropriate amount of punishment. It reflected back the killing curse at Tom Riddle causing him to lose his body. But at the time he was in the middle of the ritual and could not be stopped. The soul fragment he cut had to go somewhere and your body was the only thing available. You see your soul was still attached to your body because he never fully finished the ritual and that allowed you to go back into your body albeit with an extra passenger.” Finished the twin on the right.

“Let me see if I got this straight. So you mean to tell me that I actually did die that night Voldemort attacked but because he unknowingly broke some kind of contract with my mother it allowed me to live but with the added piece of Voldemort’s soul?” Harry summed up.

“You always did have a way of simplifying things but yes true. So since then you have not been truly alive. Sure you grew up like every child but your very being was never in harmony so your body was constantly fighting to survive. Because of this your magic was blocked you from preventing you from accessing your full magical power. In actuality you only had access to half your magic this entire time. One fourth of your magic was being siphoned off to Tom Riddle wherever he was while he was a spirit and later when he regained his body and the other one fourth was constantly fighting the spirit in your body from destroying you thus leaving you weaker than you were.”

"But Dumbledore said that it was my mother's love that saved me and gave me protection? If it was a contract made then why did he say it was my mother? wondered Harry.

"It is true that it was the contract that gave you protection but it was your mother's love that made it possible. She loved you so much that even though she knew she would die found a way to protect you even after she died. There is no greater love than that. So ina way your headmaster was right. It was love that saved you that night." the Twins answered almost reverently.

He never thought of it that way. She didn't have to die but she did anyway to try and protect me. I never thought of it like that. I can understand why she did what she did now. To protect the ones you love from danger a person would do anything they could. That's why I let Tom hit me with the killing curse. To make him mortal so that he could finally die. I....finally understand why love, specifically love for another, can be the 'power he knows not'. Tom would never sacrifice himself for another so he can't understand it. Thank you mom for your sacrifice. I think ...I truly understand now what it means ....to love someone.

“Where or should I say when will you be sending be back?” Harry questioned after his little revelation.

“You will find out when you get there which will be now.” Retorted the twins. As soon as they finished speaking a hole appeared underneath Harry like it did with Dumbledore and he fell yelling going into the unknown.
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