Categories > Books > Outsiders
96 Tears
0 ReviewsCOMPLETED A month after Johnny and Dally die, Two-Bit wanders into Buck's in an attempt to cheer himself up. Two-Bit 1st person POV. ONE-SHOT
Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders and all the characters contained within its hallowed pages. I barely own Ruby. She's not much for ownership. The song lyrics and title are from "96 Tears" by Question Mark and the Mysterians.
Author's Note: This one-shot ties in with my fics Middle Ground and Triangle.
XXXX
96 Tears
Too many teardrops for one heart to be cryin'
I cut the engine to my car and heard the music waft in from Buck’s place. 96 Tears was playing on the jukebox – Ruby must’ve convinced Buck to spin a few hits instead of all that country stuff he liked to play, and thank God for it.
The parking lot wasn’t as crowded as it had been a month earlier … a lot of things had changed since then. I got out of the car and shut the door, wondering if it would even start up later on. The ol’ car was on its last legs that was for sure. I lit a cigarette before I mounted the stairs and opened the screen door.
There were a few familiar faces in the bar, and a few of the Shepard boys hanging around. I hadn’t seen Tim and Bill in here lately, but that was probably on account of Ruby. Ever since that dust up when he’d taken a girl upstairs right in front of her, he’d kinda stayed away from the place. I’d wondered about that … never thought I’d see the day when a tough hood like Shepard would be avoiding a chick he dated. But then, maybe Ruby wasn’t just some chick.
I didn’t really blame him. If it was me having to look at Ruby’s wounded gaze all night long, I’d beat it out of there, too.
Speaking of, she was behind the bar, cleaning up a spill and collecting pieces of a broken bottle and placing it on the bar.
“Careful,” I said. “Don’t wanna cut yourself.”
“Hey, Two-Bit,” she said, her smile not reaching her eyes. “What you drinkin’?”
“Anything you got,” I said honestly.
She came back with a beer from the keg and I put the coins down on the bar, watching her sweep them into her hand and dump them into the register. I didn’t miss the way her eyes darted towards the door every time it opened. She’s as easy to read as a book sometimes, not that I crack those open too often.
I saw Steve wander in and nod a hello before making his way to the bar.
“Soda said you got a new knife,” he said, waiting on Ruby to get his beer.
“You did?” Ruby asked me. “What happened to your other one? You were always pullin’ that thing out and waving it around for the world to see.”
I shrugged. “Cops took it a few weeks back.”
Ruby was still looking at me with that crinkled up forehead. Usually I’d make some smart comment about her facing freezing like that, but hell, I just didn’t have it in me tonight.
“Dally had it on him when he died,” Steve said to her.
“Oh.”
I took another gulp of my beer, then pulled out the knife.
“This lovely specimen took me four hours of hard work in the hardware store,” I said, flicking out the razor-sharp blade. I saw Ruby jump a little when I did it. You figure dating Shepard as long as she had she’d be used to stuff like that.
“Four hours? Why on earth didn’t they toss you out?” she asked.
“Oh, they wanted to,” I said. “Only I had a basket filled with things I was gonna buy. I’d pick ‘em up, put ‘em in the basket, then wander around, put some back, pick up some more stuff. After awhile they kinda lose interest.”
“He distracts them long enough to get behind the display and swipe one,” Steve chimed in. I shoved him good-naturedly.
“Ain’t there anything you don’t get a five fingered discount on?” Ruby asked, her hands on her hips.
“Beer,” I said, lifting my mug and drinking.
XXXX
I had some fun dancing with a few girls slumming it on the North side. I recognized one from Rogers, a middle classer with a nice rack. They’d giggled and laughed and I made them giggle and laugh some more, and they took off when a fight broke out.
I ambled up to the bar and found Ruby having a drink herself, only it wasn’t a Miller beer like she usually favoured. I watched her cap the Jim Beam and take a huge gulp from the glass she’d poured herself, which was more bourbon than ice or water.
“Slow down there, cowgirl,” I said. “’Else we’ll be pouring you in the saddle tomorrow.”
“I’m fine, Two-Bit,” she said, shaking her head. “Can’t a girl have a drink?”
“Sure,” I said. “Only I never seen you drink like that.”
“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”
“Ouch,” I said, smiling. “Nice one.”
I wondered about her all the same. Ruby wasn’t a drinker, that much I knew. I’d never even seen her get drunk before, and she was always around booze, more than most girls thanks to Buck. She hadn’t even been drinking beer that much since she started school with me.
I was glad she’d come. Twelfth grade was turning out pretty boring, and so far the only action had been the little school prank we’d pulled back in September. It seemed to distract her a little from thinking about Shepard at least.
Maybe that was on her mind now. Shepard turned up in her head like a bad penny sometimes.
I’d never seen her upset over him. Well, not since Tim had taken that chick upstairs, and even then she’d just gone upstairs to let them in a room and never came back down. When I thought about it, I’d never even seen her cry a tear over it.
I looked at the clock above the bar. It was closing in on two in the morning, and the crowd had really thinned out. Buck was locked in the back room in an intense poker game, and Jed and Irene had both taken off. A couple guys were drinking by the jukebox.
“You gonna shut this place down?” I asked. “If you are, I’m gonna need a drink for the road.”
“You probably got one in your car,” she said. She put a bottle of Olympia down on the counter in front of me regardless.
I walked over to the jukebox and put a nickel in, then punched F7.
“It’s about time Buck put some Elvis in here,” I said, wondering why on earth he’d chosen that song and then wondering why on earth I had. There was only one thing it reminded me of. I must be crazy to want to scratch that scab.
“Buck didn’t have nothin’ to do with it,” she said, coming out from behind the bar with another shot of bourbon. I saw her stumble a little and spill a bit on the floor.
“You’re drunk already,” I told her.
“Am not,” she said, steadying herself against a nearby chair and taking the shot.
“Come on,” I said, taking her arm. “Dance.”
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud, Two-Bit,” she said. “I gotta lot of work to do.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “This place is empty now, an’ Buck ain’t gonna want you interrupting his poker game. Come on.”
I spun Ruby around and grinned at the alarmed look on her face. If I could get her to smile then maybe the night would look up some.
“You got two left feet there, kid,” I said.
“I do not,” she countered. “And for pete’s sake quit callin’ me kid, I’m older than you, and I always will be.”
I spun her around again, watching her eyes widen as she tried not to fall over. She was drunker than a skunk. And I’d never seen a skunk drink as much bourbon as she had, so that was a lot.
Hell, maybe I was a bit drunk too.
“Older, but not wiser,” I said, earning myself a slap on the arm.
She steadied herself against me and managed to dance a few bars without tripping over her own feet.
“I remember this song playin’ when I was headed up to park with Franny one night,” I said, the drink loosening my lips. “I remember thinkin’ “Kiss Me Quick” was a decent name for a song, and I wouldn’t have minded if she’d listened.”
Ruby looked up at me, her eyes glassy.
“Did she listen?”
“Got to second base,” I said with a grin.
Ruby rolled her eyes, and for a minute I thought they might roll all the way back and she’d pass out.
“You boys are just … boys,” she sighed. “Oh, it ain’t right for a body to feel this dizzy.”
The song changed to a slow one and she leaned against me. I paused when I heard the song, wondering if anyone else ever heard it and thought of Dallas and Laura.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothin’,” I said.
“Don’t seem like nothing to me.”
“’Unchained Melody,’’’ I sighed. “Dallas … he played it for Laura once. Danced with her.”
“Oh.”
I felt Ruby put her head on my shoulder, and noticed I was supporting an awful lot of her body weight.
“You miss him?” she asked.
I was quiet for a moment. No one spoke about Johnny and Dallas anymore. It’d been just over a month, and already no one ever talked about them. I supposed I understood why Darry didn’t want anyone bringing it up around the kid, since he’d been so out of it until a week or so ago. But Steve wasn’t the type to bring it up, and hell, it wasn’t like anyone else even cared anymore.
I was one to talk though. I hadn’t even been to the cemetery yet – I couldn’t for some reason. Sure, I’d driven by it a few times, and meant to go in and all, but something always made me press the accelerator a little harder when I got too close.
“Yeah,” I said finally. “I miss ‘em both.”
“I’m sorry,” she said miserably. “I only met Johnny that one time, and sometimes it’s just so easy to forget … “
Yeah, sometimes it was. Sometimes I woke up and it was a whole hour before I remembered. I almost dreaded the fact the time between remembering was getting longer and longer. At the same time it was easier to just crack open a beer and forget when those thoughts did come.
“I dunno when all this is gonna stop,” she said, leaning hard against me. “When’s it all gonna stop, Two-Bit? When’s the hurtin’ end?”
“I dunno,” I said, wishing I had an answer. Not just for her, either.
So much for coming to Buck’s to cheer myself up.
XXXX
“I ain’t gonna let you leave like this,” Ruby said, tripping on her way towards the bar. “Shoot, Two-Bit, I bet you can’t see straight, same as me.”
I was feeling a bit drunker than usual. I couldn’t remember how much I’d had to drink in the end. It was a lot, I know that much. Hell, usually I pace myself, but Buck’s was turning out to be a real downer.
The jukebox had played out its last song, and I was suddenly feeling so tired I could’ve slept for a year. Thoughts of Johnny and Dally had invaded my mind and made me relive it all over again. I was feelin' awful guilty about not going to the cemetery. Even my ma had bugged me about it once or twice, til she saw it was no use to get on my case about it. I dunno why I didn't wanna go. It wasn’t worth remembering it all. Darry was right to tell us all to shut up about it.
“I’ll let you in a room upstairs,” she said. “You can stay here. I won’t even charge you or nothin’.”
I smiled at her. “You’re a good kid … girl.”
She laughed at my correction. “I dunno what I am anymore.”
She grabbed the keys from the register, and I followed her to the stairs, watching as she made her way up the stairs alright, albeit kinda wobbly. I helped her up the final stair, feeling like I might need her to lean on. Shit, I drank too much again. After last time I promised myself I wouldn’t get all drunk and falling all over the place.
She unlocked the door to the room and shut the door behind us.
“You need anything?” she asked.
I went to shake my head, but thought better of it from the way it was swimming suddenly.
“What about you?” I asked. “You need anything?”
“A genie in a magic bottle with three wishes would be nice,” she sighed, her voice holding a little too much pain.
“You better take a few aspirin before bed,” I told her. “You’re gonna have a splittin’ headache come morning.”
“I got one now,” she said, looking up at me and smiling a little.
“You poor kid,” I half-joked.
She stepped towards me and hugged me, and she was so off balance I had to struggle not to fall myself.
“Thanks, Two-Bit,” she said.
“You alright to get upstairs?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m fine. I know the way,” she said. “Goodnight.”
She leaned up to kiss me on the cheek, and I saw her hesitate. A second later, her lips met mine.
I had no idea what to do at first, so I decided to just kiss her back.
“Ruby,” I said, breaking the kiss.
She didn’t answer, just put her hands behind my neck and pulled me down to her.
All reason flew out the window, and I kissed her back, harder this time.
I felt her hands slide down to my shoulders and then behind my neck again, her fingers touching my hair. Her lips tasted like bourbon.
She pulled me towards the metal frame bed, and I don’t know how we managed to get near it without toppling over. My brain was swimming and felt half pickled.
She pushed my jacket off and onto the floor, then unbuttoned the shirt I had on underneath, her fingers nimble as hell when it came to the buttons. It took awhile for me to get the buttons on her shirt, and looking back, maybe it was a sign.
I stumbled as we moved onto the bed, and then crashed down onto it. We landed hard, but I don’t think either one of us noticed. Her lips were hot and insistent, and I wasn’t one to argue with that kind of logic. I finally got the last button on her blouse and tossed her shirt away. She had made short work of mine.
She raked her fingers lightly across my chest, and I kissed her harder, rolling on top of her and feeling us both sink into the lousy mattress. I kissed her again, then kissed her neck, her chin, her cheek. I stopped when I tasted the tears.
I remembered being folded up in the front seat of my Plymouth with Franny, tasting her salty tears and realizing she wouldn’t be there if her brother hadn’t been hurt. I had the same sense with Ruby, and I didn’t know why.
She tried to pull me down to her again, but I stopped this time.
I looked at her. Her bottom lip was quivering and she made no effort to hide the tears she was crying. I heard her saying my name, sounding more desperate than a girl ever ought to, and I lowered my forehead to hers, struggling not to keep it going. All I could think about was that night with Franny. I’d give anything to haven’t been a gentlemen that night, and if I’d known she’d leave, I wouldn’t have stopped it, tears or not.
I looked at Ruby again, and she seemed to have given up her attempt at getting me laid for the first time in awhile.
“This ain’t gonna happen,” I said to her, not entirely sure what I wanted her response to be.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her breath hot against my neck. “I just wanted to forget … and I can’t.”
I knew … I knew better than she thought I knew that forgetting was welcome when you feel like shit.
“Shepard ain’t worth it,” I told her. “You’ll see that sometime.”
“I miss them Two-Bit,” she said, suddenly crying in earnest. “I miss ‘em both.”
“Both?” I asked, struggling to see her clearly and wishing I hadn’t had so much to drink.
“Tim, yeah,” she said through her tears. “’Course I miss him. I miss him even comin’ in here, as lousy as he was to me. He’s been avoiding this place like the plague, you know? And I hate it. I just hate it.”
She was quiet and I was very aware she was lying underneath me in only a bra and a pair of jeans.
“I miss Dallas too,” she said quietly. “I know it sounds crazy … “
Crazy was about right. Dallas had acted like a jerk to her, but then … they had slept together, if what rumour said was true. I knew it was true just looking at Ruby’s face a few days after she got back after the tornado. All that and there had to be some kind of connection with Dallas, right?
“He was so awful, but dammit, Two-Bit, I miss him,” she said, crying again. “Every time I walk into that barn and see the horses he rode … I keep expecting him to come struttin’ in there cursin’ me out and challenging me to race, and he ain’t ever there. I cursed him when he was alive, I told him I hated him … and now … now he’s gone. I never even got to say I was sorry. I never got to say goodbye. God, Two-Bit, that's not the first time in my life I didn't get to say goodbye. I never got to tell my mother I loved her before she died, I never got to say goodbye. But at least I knew it was coming, you know. What Dally did ... it ain’t right what he did, it just ain’t right.”
I held her to me, turning over in the bed and hugging her to me. I pulled the blankets up over us both and listened to her cry for awhile. It wasn’t right, what he’d done. It wasn’t like I could tell the bastard either. Well, maybe I could. Maybe that's why I was avoiding that damn cemetery.
“People just keep dyin’ on me Two-Bit,” she said softly. “It ain’t fair.”
“Did you love him?” I asked her.
She was quiet before she answered. “I dunno. I don’t think so. I just … there was something about him, you know?”
I did know. Not like she knew, mind you, but I knew. Dally stood out in a crowd, whether it was for good or bad. He was impossible to ignore, and I guess she figured that out. It’s hard not to feel a hole there, even when it’s a son of a bitch who left that hole.
“He saved my life, Two-Bit,” she sniffed. “I ever tell you that? He saved my life that day the tornado hit. Then he destroyed it. Now he’s dead.”
I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. I used to wonder when Dally would break. He was a tough son of a bitch, but he wasn’t Superman. Things come at you, things take you down a peg or two, things don’t let up – it gets to a person, whether they show it or not. It’s got to me so much I’m drowning my sorrows an awful lot. It got to Ruby, maybe, and she fell into bed with the devil.
Ruby was crying in earnest now. I didn’t know what to say – I ain’t good with crying chicks, but it seems like they all love crying on my shoulder. I just let her cry.
“You can’t tell no one about this,” she sniffed.
“About what?” I said.
She smiled up at me through her tears, then buried her head against my neck. It only took a few minutes before she was asleep beside me.
I lay there for a long time wondering if it was better Ruby was letting things get to her. Better off than Dally, and he never did. Better off than me, I’d say.
XXXX
I woke up feeling like death warmed over.
I was in need of some coffee and a shower, I could say that much. I tried to move, but found I was still tangled up with Ruby.
Ruby.
I looked at her, and she was asleep, a frown on her face.
Jesus Christ, that was close. I can count on one finger the number of girls I’m friends with. I’d almost messed that up real bad last night.
I sat up slowly, not wanting to wake her, but her eyes fluttered open anyway.
She opened them slowly, then groaned.
“Only gonna get worse,” I said, feeling a bit sick myself.
“Oh good Lord,” she moaned. She looked at me, her mouth hanging open a little, then pulled the covers up to cover herself.
“S’alright,” I said. “We didn’t do nothing. Well, not really.”
“Oh,” she said, visibly relaxing. That’s just what a guy wants to see, right? The blush creeping across her cheeks was kind of cute though.
I slowly got out of the bed and put my shirt on, collecting my jacket from the floor.
“Two-Bit?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we still friends?”
I looked back at her and sat back down on the bed, facing her.
“’Course we’re still friends, why not?” I asked. Her eyes were red and threatening tears again.
“I just didn’t mean to – “
“Ruby, it’s alright,” I said. “Really.”
She struggled to sit up, then swayed and almost looked green for a moment.
“You’re sure we’re okay?” she asked, leaning closer to me.
“I’m sure,” I said. “Kid, it ain’t that easy to get rid of me. I ain’t like Dally or Shepard. We’re always gonna be friends.”
She smiled, and it was sad somehow. Maybe she didn’t believe promises like that anymore.
“I better go,” I said. “You better get yourself some aspirin. And a toothbrush.”
She made a face at me.
“Two-Bit – “
“Go back to sleep, kid,” I said, putting a hand on top of her head. I leaned down against my better judgement and kissed her forehead.
She laid back down slowly and I covered her up with a blanket. She was asleep again in a heartbeat.
I stumbled down Buck’s stairs and out to the car. I sat there for a long time before I started the engine up.
Ruby made me remember how much I missed them both. She made me remember how angry I was at Dally. Johnny dyin' ... that wasn't right either, but there was some kind of sense to it in the end, crazy as it sounds. With Dallas there was none, just like how he lived his life. No damn sense. It was eatin' at me, the way I'd been trying to ignore it. I figured I ought to try and remedy that.
I didn’t hit the accelerator harder when I got to the cemetery this time.
Too many teardrops for one heart to carry on
Author's Note Redux - This one-shot is being posted in honour of Good Fic Day, which aims to raise the quality of Outsiders fan fiction. I'd like to challenge every writer out there to use spell check, good grammar, good punctuation, avoid Mary Sue's, cliched plots and craft decent original characters while keeping the gang in character. What better way to show our appreciation to S.E. Hinton than to treat her characters with the same care she did.
If you'd like help with getting better at writing, check out the 731 Board, the link is in my profile.
Author's Note: This one-shot ties in with my fics Middle Ground and Triangle.
XXXX
96 Tears
Too many teardrops for one heart to be cryin'
I cut the engine to my car and heard the music waft in from Buck’s place. 96 Tears was playing on the jukebox – Ruby must’ve convinced Buck to spin a few hits instead of all that country stuff he liked to play, and thank God for it.
The parking lot wasn’t as crowded as it had been a month earlier … a lot of things had changed since then. I got out of the car and shut the door, wondering if it would even start up later on. The ol’ car was on its last legs that was for sure. I lit a cigarette before I mounted the stairs and opened the screen door.
There were a few familiar faces in the bar, and a few of the Shepard boys hanging around. I hadn’t seen Tim and Bill in here lately, but that was probably on account of Ruby. Ever since that dust up when he’d taken a girl upstairs right in front of her, he’d kinda stayed away from the place. I’d wondered about that … never thought I’d see the day when a tough hood like Shepard would be avoiding a chick he dated. But then, maybe Ruby wasn’t just some chick.
I didn’t really blame him. If it was me having to look at Ruby’s wounded gaze all night long, I’d beat it out of there, too.
Speaking of, she was behind the bar, cleaning up a spill and collecting pieces of a broken bottle and placing it on the bar.
“Careful,” I said. “Don’t wanna cut yourself.”
“Hey, Two-Bit,” she said, her smile not reaching her eyes. “What you drinkin’?”
“Anything you got,” I said honestly.
She came back with a beer from the keg and I put the coins down on the bar, watching her sweep them into her hand and dump them into the register. I didn’t miss the way her eyes darted towards the door every time it opened. She’s as easy to read as a book sometimes, not that I crack those open too often.
I saw Steve wander in and nod a hello before making his way to the bar.
“Soda said you got a new knife,” he said, waiting on Ruby to get his beer.
“You did?” Ruby asked me. “What happened to your other one? You were always pullin’ that thing out and waving it around for the world to see.”
I shrugged. “Cops took it a few weeks back.”
Ruby was still looking at me with that crinkled up forehead. Usually I’d make some smart comment about her facing freezing like that, but hell, I just didn’t have it in me tonight.
“Dally had it on him when he died,” Steve said to her.
“Oh.”
I took another gulp of my beer, then pulled out the knife.
“This lovely specimen took me four hours of hard work in the hardware store,” I said, flicking out the razor-sharp blade. I saw Ruby jump a little when I did it. You figure dating Shepard as long as she had she’d be used to stuff like that.
“Four hours? Why on earth didn’t they toss you out?” she asked.
“Oh, they wanted to,” I said. “Only I had a basket filled with things I was gonna buy. I’d pick ‘em up, put ‘em in the basket, then wander around, put some back, pick up some more stuff. After awhile they kinda lose interest.”
“He distracts them long enough to get behind the display and swipe one,” Steve chimed in. I shoved him good-naturedly.
“Ain’t there anything you don’t get a five fingered discount on?” Ruby asked, her hands on her hips.
“Beer,” I said, lifting my mug and drinking.
XXXX
I had some fun dancing with a few girls slumming it on the North side. I recognized one from Rogers, a middle classer with a nice rack. They’d giggled and laughed and I made them giggle and laugh some more, and they took off when a fight broke out.
I ambled up to the bar and found Ruby having a drink herself, only it wasn’t a Miller beer like she usually favoured. I watched her cap the Jim Beam and take a huge gulp from the glass she’d poured herself, which was more bourbon than ice or water.
“Slow down there, cowgirl,” I said. “’Else we’ll be pouring you in the saddle tomorrow.”
“I’m fine, Two-Bit,” she said, shaking her head. “Can’t a girl have a drink?”
“Sure,” I said. “Only I never seen you drink like that.”
“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”
“Ouch,” I said, smiling. “Nice one.”
I wondered about her all the same. Ruby wasn’t a drinker, that much I knew. I’d never even seen her get drunk before, and she was always around booze, more than most girls thanks to Buck. She hadn’t even been drinking beer that much since she started school with me.
I was glad she’d come. Twelfth grade was turning out pretty boring, and so far the only action had been the little school prank we’d pulled back in September. It seemed to distract her a little from thinking about Shepard at least.
Maybe that was on her mind now. Shepard turned up in her head like a bad penny sometimes.
I’d never seen her upset over him. Well, not since Tim had taken that chick upstairs, and even then she’d just gone upstairs to let them in a room and never came back down. When I thought about it, I’d never even seen her cry a tear over it.
I looked at the clock above the bar. It was closing in on two in the morning, and the crowd had really thinned out. Buck was locked in the back room in an intense poker game, and Jed and Irene had both taken off. A couple guys were drinking by the jukebox.
“You gonna shut this place down?” I asked. “If you are, I’m gonna need a drink for the road.”
“You probably got one in your car,” she said. She put a bottle of Olympia down on the counter in front of me regardless.
I walked over to the jukebox and put a nickel in, then punched F7.
“It’s about time Buck put some Elvis in here,” I said, wondering why on earth he’d chosen that song and then wondering why on earth I had. There was only one thing it reminded me of. I must be crazy to want to scratch that scab.
“Buck didn’t have nothin’ to do with it,” she said, coming out from behind the bar with another shot of bourbon. I saw her stumble a little and spill a bit on the floor.
“You’re drunk already,” I told her.
“Am not,” she said, steadying herself against a nearby chair and taking the shot.
“Come on,” I said, taking her arm. “Dance.”
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud, Two-Bit,” she said. “I gotta lot of work to do.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “This place is empty now, an’ Buck ain’t gonna want you interrupting his poker game. Come on.”
I spun Ruby around and grinned at the alarmed look on her face. If I could get her to smile then maybe the night would look up some.
“You got two left feet there, kid,” I said.
“I do not,” she countered. “And for pete’s sake quit callin’ me kid, I’m older than you, and I always will be.”
I spun her around again, watching her eyes widen as she tried not to fall over. She was drunker than a skunk. And I’d never seen a skunk drink as much bourbon as she had, so that was a lot.
Hell, maybe I was a bit drunk too.
“Older, but not wiser,” I said, earning myself a slap on the arm.
She steadied herself against me and managed to dance a few bars without tripping over her own feet.
“I remember this song playin’ when I was headed up to park with Franny one night,” I said, the drink loosening my lips. “I remember thinkin’ “Kiss Me Quick” was a decent name for a song, and I wouldn’t have minded if she’d listened.”
Ruby looked up at me, her eyes glassy.
“Did she listen?”
“Got to second base,” I said with a grin.
Ruby rolled her eyes, and for a minute I thought they might roll all the way back and she’d pass out.
“You boys are just … boys,” she sighed. “Oh, it ain’t right for a body to feel this dizzy.”
The song changed to a slow one and she leaned against me. I paused when I heard the song, wondering if anyone else ever heard it and thought of Dallas and Laura.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothin’,” I said.
“Don’t seem like nothing to me.”
“’Unchained Melody,’’’ I sighed. “Dallas … he played it for Laura once. Danced with her.”
“Oh.”
I felt Ruby put her head on my shoulder, and noticed I was supporting an awful lot of her body weight.
“You miss him?” she asked.
I was quiet for a moment. No one spoke about Johnny and Dallas anymore. It’d been just over a month, and already no one ever talked about them. I supposed I understood why Darry didn’t want anyone bringing it up around the kid, since he’d been so out of it until a week or so ago. But Steve wasn’t the type to bring it up, and hell, it wasn’t like anyone else even cared anymore.
I was one to talk though. I hadn’t even been to the cemetery yet – I couldn’t for some reason. Sure, I’d driven by it a few times, and meant to go in and all, but something always made me press the accelerator a little harder when I got too close.
“Yeah,” I said finally. “I miss ‘em both.”
“I’m sorry,” she said miserably. “I only met Johnny that one time, and sometimes it’s just so easy to forget … “
Yeah, sometimes it was. Sometimes I woke up and it was a whole hour before I remembered. I almost dreaded the fact the time between remembering was getting longer and longer. At the same time it was easier to just crack open a beer and forget when those thoughts did come.
“I dunno when all this is gonna stop,” she said, leaning hard against me. “When’s it all gonna stop, Two-Bit? When’s the hurtin’ end?”
“I dunno,” I said, wishing I had an answer. Not just for her, either.
So much for coming to Buck’s to cheer myself up.
XXXX
“I ain’t gonna let you leave like this,” Ruby said, tripping on her way towards the bar. “Shoot, Two-Bit, I bet you can’t see straight, same as me.”
I was feeling a bit drunker than usual. I couldn’t remember how much I’d had to drink in the end. It was a lot, I know that much. Hell, usually I pace myself, but Buck’s was turning out to be a real downer.
The jukebox had played out its last song, and I was suddenly feeling so tired I could’ve slept for a year. Thoughts of Johnny and Dally had invaded my mind and made me relive it all over again. I was feelin' awful guilty about not going to the cemetery. Even my ma had bugged me about it once or twice, til she saw it was no use to get on my case about it. I dunno why I didn't wanna go. It wasn’t worth remembering it all. Darry was right to tell us all to shut up about it.
“I’ll let you in a room upstairs,” she said. “You can stay here. I won’t even charge you or nothin’.”
I smiled at her. “You’re a good kid … girl.”
She laughed at my correction. “I dunno what I am anymore.”
She grabbed the keys from the register, and I followed her to the stairs, watching as she made her way up the stairs alright, albeit kinda wobbly. I helped her up the final stair, feeling like I might need her to lean on. Shit, I drank too much again. After last time I promised myself I wouldn’t get all drunk and falling all over the place.
She unlocked the door to the room and shut the door behind us.
“You need anything?” she asked.
I went to shake my head, but thought better of it from the way it was swimming suddenly.
“What about you?” I asked. “You need anything?”
“A genie in a magic bottle with three wishes would be nice,” she sighed, her voice holding a little too much pain.
“You better take a few aspirin before bed,” I told her. “You’re gonna have a splittin’ headache come morning.”
“I got one now,” she said, looking up at me and smiling a little.
“You poor kid,” I half-joked.
She stepped towards me and hugged me, and she was so off balance I had to struggle not to fall myself.
“Thanks, Two-Bit,” she said.
“You alright to get upstairs?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m fine. I know the way,” she said. “Goodnight.”
She leaned up to kiss me on the cheek, and I saw her hesitate. A second later, her lips met mine.
I had no idea what to do at first, so I decided to just kiss her back.
“Ruby,” I said, breaking the kiss.
She didn’t answer, just put her hands behind my neck and pulled me down to her.
All reason flew out the window, and I kissed her back, harder this time.
I felt her hands slide down to my shoulders and then behind my neck again, her fingers touching my hair. Her lips tasted like bourbon.
She pulled me towards the metal frame bed, and I don’t know how we managed to get near it without toppling over. My brain was swimming and felt half pickled.
She pushed my jacket off and onto the floor, then unbuttoned the shirt I had on underneath, her fingers nimble as hell when it came to the buttons. It took awhile for me to get the buttons on her shirt, and looking back, maybe it was a sign.
I stumbled as we moved onto the bed, and then crashed down onto it. We landed hard, but I don’t think either one of us noticed. Her lips were hot and insistent, and I wasn’t one to argue with that kind of logic. I finally got the last button on her blouse and tossed her shirt away. She had made short work of mine.
She raked her fingers lightly across my chest, and I kissed her harder, rolling on top of her and feeling us both sink into the lousy mattress. I kissed her again, then kissed her neck, her chin, her cheek. I stopped when I tasted the tears.
I remembered being folded up in the front seat of my Plymouth with Franny, tasting her salty tears and realizing she wouldn’t be there if her brother hadn’t been hurt. I had the same sense with Ruby, and I didn’t know why.
She tried to pull me down to her again, but I stopped this time.
I looked at her. Her bottom lip was quivering and she made no effort to hide the tears she was crying. I heard her saying my name, sounding more desperate than a girl ever ought to, and I lowered my forehead to hers, struggling not to keep it going. All I could think about was that night with Franny. I’d give anything to haven’t been a gentlemen that night, and if I’d known she’d leave, I wouldn’t have stopped it, tears or not.
I looked at Ruby again, and she seemed to have given up her attempt at getting me laid for the first time in awhile.
“This ain’t gonna happen,” I said to her, not entirely sure what I wanted her response to be.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her breath hot against my neck. “I just wanted to forget … and I can’t.”
I knew … I knew better than she thought I knew that forgetting was welcome when you feel like shit.
“Shepard ain’t worth it,” I told her. “You’ll see that sometime.”
“I miss them Two-Bit,” she said, suddenly crying in earnest. “I miss ‘em both.”
“Both?” I asked, struggling to see her clearly and wishing I hadn’t had so much to drink.
“Tim, yeah,” she said through her tears. “’Course I miss him. I miss him even comin’ in here, as lousy as he was to me. He’s been avoiding this place like the plague, you know? And I hate it. I just hate it.”
She was quiet and I was very aware she was lying underneath me in only a bra and a pair of jeans.
“I miss Dallas too,” she said quietly. “I know it sounds crazy … “
Crazy was about right. Dallas had acted like a jerk to her, but then … they had slept together, if what rumour said was true. I knew it was true just looking at Ruby’s face a few days after she got back after the tornado. All that and there had to be some kind of connection with Dallas, right?
“He was so awful, but dammit, Two-Bit, I miss him,” she said, crying again. “Every time I walk into that barn and see the horses he rode … I keep expecting him to come struttin’ in there cursin’ me out and challenging me to race, and he ain’t ever there. I cursed him when he was alive, I told him I hated him … and now … now he’s gone. I never even got to say I was sorry. I never got to say goodbye. God, Two-Bit, that's not the first time in my life I didn't get to say goodbye. I never got to tell my mother I loved her before she died, I never got to say goodbye. But at least I knew it was coming, you know. What Dally did ... it ain’t right what he did, it just ain’t right.”
I held her to me, turning over in the bed and hugging her to me. I pulled the blankets up over us both and listened to her cry for awhile. It wasn’t right, what he’d done. It wasn’t like I could tell the bastard either. Well, maybe I could. Maybe that's why I was avoiding that damn cemetery.
“People just keep dyin’ on me Two-Bit,” she said softly. “It ain’t fair.”
“Did you love him?” I asked her.
She was quiet before she answered. “I dunno. I don’t think so. I just … there was something about him, you know?”
I did know. Not like she knew, mind you, but I knew. Dally stood out in a crowd, whether it was for good or bad. He was impossible to ignore, and I guess she figured that out. It’s hard not to feel a hole there, even when it’s a son of a bitch who left that hole.
“He saved my life, Two-Bit,” she sniffed. “I ever tell you that? He saved my life that day the tornado hit. Then he destroyed it. Now he’s dead.”
I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. I used to wonder when Dally would break. He was a tough son of a bitch, but he wasn’t Superman. Things come at you, things take you down a peg or two, things don’t let up – it gets to a person, whether they show it or not. It’s got to me so much I’m drowning my sorrows an awful lot. It got to Ruby, maybe, and she fell into bed with the devil.
Ruby was crying in earnest now. I didn’t know what to say – I ain’t good with crying chicks, but it seems like they all love crying on my shoulder. I just let her cry.
“You can’t tell no one about this,” she sniffed.
“About what?” I said.
She smiled up at me through her tears, then buried her head against my neck. It only took a few minutes before she was asleep beside me.
I lay there for a long time wondering if it was better Ruby was letting things get to her. Better off than Dally, and he never did. Better off than me, I’d say.
XXXX
I woke up feeling like death warmed over.
I was in need of some coffee and a shower, I could say that much. I tried to move, but found I was still tangled up with Ruby.
Ruby.
I looked at her, and she was asleep, a frown on her face.
Jesus Christ, that was close. I can count on one finger the number of girls I’m friends with. I’d almost messed that up real bad last night.
I sat up slowly, not wanting to wake her, but her eyes fluttered open anyway.
She opened them slowly, then groaned.
“Only gonna get worse,” I said, feeling a bit sick myself.
“Oh good Lord,” she moaned. She looked at me, her mouth hanging open a little, then pulled the covers up to cover herself.
“S’alright,” I said. “We didn’t do nothing. Well, not really.”
“Oh,” she said, visibly relaxing. That’s just what a guy wants to see, right? The blush creeping across her cheeks was kind of cute though.
I slowly got out of the bed and put my shirt on, collecting my jacket from the floor.
“Two-Bit?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we still friends?”
I looked back at her and sat back down on the bed, facing her.
“’Course we’re still friends, why not?” I asked. Her eyes were red and threatening tears again.
“I just didn’t mean to – “
“Ruby, it’s alright,” I said. “Really.”
She struggled to sit up, then swayed and almost looked green for a moment.
“You’re sure we’re okay?” she asked, leaning closer to me.
“I’m sure,” I said. “Kid, it ain’t that easy to get rid of me. I ain’t like Dally or Shepard. We’re always gonna be friends.”
She smiled, and it was sad somehow. Maybe she didn’t believe promises like that anymore.
“I better go,” I said. “You better get yourself some aspirin. And a toothbrush.”
She made a face at me.
“Two-Bit – “
“Go back to sleep, kid,” I said, putting a hand on top of her head. I leaned down against my better judgement and kissed her forehead.
She laid back down slowly and I covered her up with a blanket. She was asleep again in a heartbeat.
I stumbled down Buck’s stairs and out to the car. I sat there for a long time before I started the engine up.
Ruby made me remember how much I missed them both. She made me remember how angry I was at Dally. Johnny dyin' ... that wasn't right either, but there was some kind of sense to it in the end, crazy as it sounds. With Dallas there was none, just like how he lived his life. No damn sense. It was eatin' at me, the way I'd been trying to ignore it. I figured I ought to try and remedy that.
I didn’t hit the accelerator harder when I got to the cemetery this time.
Too many teardrops for one heart to carry on
Author's Note Redux - This one-shot is being posted in honour of Good Fic Day, which aims to raise the quality of Outsiders fan fiction. I'd like to challenge every writer out there to use spell check, good grammar, good punctuation, avoid Mary Sue's, cliched plots and craft decent original characters while keeping the gang in character. What better way to show our appreciation to S.E. Hinton than to treat her characters with the same care she did.
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