Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Best Friends, Ex-Friends Till The End, Better Off As Lovers
This Balance Has Weighed Out Our Heart's Desire
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I laid on TAI’s couch, relaxing. The guys were playing, and I had the night off. I was pretty excited about that, since I never had a night off before. I think Ryan talked to Zack to see if I could take a break, just this one time, because of everything that happened today.
Everything was finally settled, and I felt relieved. My life was pretty awesome right now. I was touring with the guys, The Academy Is… joined the tour, and now Bill and I. It almost felt complete. But something was missing, and I just couldn’t figure out what.
I must of fallen asleep, because I woke up to lips on mine. I opened my eyes and saw William. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed back.
“How’d the show go?” I smiled as he stood up.
“Pretty awesome” He walked into the bunk area, to change.
“Where is everybody? I’ve hardly seen the guys…” I sat up on the couch and fixed my clothes.
“Their on Panic’s bus if you want to go over.” William poked his head out from the bunks to look at me. I got up and walked over to him. No pants.
“Jeez William” I spun around to look in the direction, laughing the whole time.
“Don’t lie. You want this” William spun me around, but he had pants on.
“Yeah… okay. Maybe.” I laughed. “Let’s get going!” I grabbed his hand to take him off the bus, but we had to stop at the kitchen. William being hungry? I never would have suspected…. It doesn’t even look like this boy eats.
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“Just give it time. Im sure its just a stupid little thing. They wont last long. Just act like yourself.” Ryan whispered to me by the bunks.
“Ryan, that’s not upsetting me” Lied. I was lying to everyone, including myself. I would tell myself I only loved Jenna as a friend everyday. Ryan knew I was lying too. I looked down at the floor, not able to look at him.
Ryan just shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder, smiled and walked out to talk to the rest of the guys.
I sighed and sat down on Jenna’s bunk. She had a picture of her and me from after a show we did in Las Vegas last year. The picture was hilarious and I loved it. Jenna was dressed as a showgirl because she had to take a dancer’s spot in our show that night, and a few times after that. She was on my shoulders, and I was running down the street. I smiled and laughed a little remembering that night.
Jenna’s voice interrupted my reminiscing causing me to smile since she was here. My smile faded as soon as I heard Bill. I sighed and decided to go be social. Act like yourself.
How the hell am I going to do that?
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I hugged all the guys as I got on the bus. I quickly noticed Brendon wasn’t there, and I hoped he wasn’t somewhere by himself, being depressed.
I glanced back up to see Brendon standing there, smiling. I was so happy to see him smile again. I ran over and slid my arms around him. It felt so good to hug him.
“Brennnnnny!” I kissed his cheek and went and sat down on the couch by the guys.
William soon joined me, sitting next to me, his arm wrapping around me. I smiled and looked at Brendon, who stared blankly and then moved his eyebrows up and down and making “ohhhhh” sounds.
I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. “Don’t you guys want to do something fun?” We all looked over at Mike. “Well dontcha?” He put his arms out.
“I do” We all turned our heads to look at Brendon now. I, and I think everyone else in the room, thought Brendon would be the last one, if not even one, to respond to ‘having fun’ according to how he was acting today. He started the day off in a shitty mode, went to happy, back to shitty. I guess he was back at happy again. What was wrong with this boy? I am his best friend. Shouldn’t I know?
“What” Brendon spun the cap back onto his water bottle and looked at us like we all had twenty heads. I shrugged. “Nothing. Lets go!” I grabbed William’s hand and pulled him off the couch.
“Okay, I haven’t gone ice skating since the last time Brendon and I went, and I broke my wrist so… don’t make fun of me” I laughed as William helped me out onto the ice.
Ice skating was so weird. It seemed impossible to me that thin little blades would be able to support me and I would be able to balance on them. For some reason, I always thought the blades would cut through the ice and I would get stuck.
William finally coaxed me off the side off the rink and I started skating by him. I got the hang of it, and being like I am, challenged him to a race.
“Are you sure?” Bill raised an eyebrow at me. I stopped skating and stared at him.
“Am I sure? Psh… Let’s go Beckett” We were at one side of the rink and the idea was to get to the other side the fastest. I stuck my tongue out at William as Jon counted down.
“3…2…1..GO! Bill I pity you!” Jon laughed as we both flew past him.
I skated as fast as I could. I saw Brendon skating in front of me and started to panic. I knew I had to go around him, but at the speed I was going I don’t know how good this was going to turn out. I swerved, and all I heard was the smack my head made as it smashed off the ice.
“Don’t let her fall asleep!” I heard someone yell. I heard more skates approach where I was laying.
“Jenna” Someone’s cold hand brushed my face. I lazily opened my eyes to see William staring down at me, concerned along with the rest of the guys crowding around me.
“My turn didn’t go so good” I laughed a little and closed my eyes.
“No, no. Open them” I listened to William and my eyes dragged open again. “But Im really tired.” I whined and my eyes fell closed again.
“Jen, no. Open your eyes” William held my face in his one hand. “Ill go get one of those sleds so we can pull her off the ice” Brendon skated away. “Ill get ice!” Jon yelled.
“Thanks Bden, Jon…” I said lazily. “Okay, you probably have a concussion, so no sleeping. Got it?” William smiled a little.
“Got it” I said as my eyes dropped closed.
“Okay, obviously you don’t. Jen, come on” William laughed and poked my face again.
I had a killer headache, my body was aching, and all I wanted to do was sleep. No, scratch that, all I wanted to do was make William go away so he would stop keeping me from sleeping. Brendon and William picked me up and put me in the sled to get me off the ice. William kept poking my face every once in a while to make sure I stayed awake. About the third time he did it, I smacked his hand. “Ow!” He smiled down at me.
I felt my ice skates being removed and my sneakers replacing them. I picked my head up a little and Brendon was tying my shoes. “Thanks” I smiled a little.
“Put your head back down. Rest. But no sleeping” Brendon laughed and tied my other shoe. William walked over and kissed me.
“You okay?” He pushed some hair out of my face.
“Yeah. My head just hurts” I scrunched up my face. “And my back, and my legs, and everywhere” I laughed a little.
William picked me up and carried me out to the car. I laid on the backseat, my head resting on William’s legs. All of us, including myself, made fun of how uncoordinated I was sometimes. They all urged me to go to the hospital, but I thought of the chance that they would make me stay overnight and I hated hospitals. Hated them.
“I don’t wanna!” I whined and pouted, staring up at William. He stroked my hair. “But baby, you got hurt. Don’t you want to get better?” William said softly.
“Okay, Ill make a deal. If I start throwing up or getting dizzy, then hospital it is. Until then, no go” William finally agreed, after about an hour of debating.
William carried me onto Panic’s bus and put me in my bunk. “Im going to go. Now listen, tonight you cant sleep. I know, you’re tired, and I know exactly what you’re thinking right now; that Im not going to be here so how am I going to know if you sleep. Because Brendon here and the rest of the guys are going to keep a close watch over you. So no funny business.” William kissed me and said goodnight.
After William left, I stared at the picture of Brendon and me a year ago. I chuckled as I studied it. I was a little startled when I felt someone slid in next to me. I rolled over and smiled at Brendon.
“How you feeling?”
“Pretty good. I think the children’s liquid Tylenol helped” I laughed at not having the ability to swallow pills.
“Good” Brendon felt the back of my head, and the bump wasn’t that bad anymore, since Jon freaked out and got a huge bag of ice as soon as it happened.
“Not that bad” Brendon smiled. “Guess what? I think you can sleep in about an hour. Okay? Good?”
“Great” I yawned. I snuggled up next to Brendon and rested my head in the crook of his neck.
“Goodnight in an hour” I laughed.
“Goodnight, Jen.”
I LOVE:RyanRossLuver, and xCherryRossx ! Seriously, they're awesome.
Okay, sorry about the wait guys. Been a little busy. Anyway.... here it is! Hope you guys like it, since Im not sure if I do. But, Im not sure of anything anymore... ;] Enjoy!
Everything was finally settled, and I felt relieved. My life was pretty awesome right now. I was touring with the guys, The Academy Is… joined the tour, and now Bill and I. It almost felt complete. But something was missing, and I just couldn’t figure out what.
I must of fallen asleep, because I woke up to lips on mine. I opened my eyes and saw William. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed back.
“How’d the show go?” I smiled as he stood up.
“Pretty awesome” He walked into the bunk area, to change.
“Where is everybody? I’ve hardly seen the guys…” I sat up on the couch and fixed my clothes.
“Their on Panic’s bus if you want to go over.” William poked his head out from the bunks to look at me. I got up and walked over to him. No pants.
“Jeez William” I spun around to look in the direction, laughing the whole time.
“Don’t lie. You want this” William spun me around, but he had pants on.
“Yeah… okay. Maybe.” I laughed. “Let’s get going!” I grabbed his hand to take him off the bus, but we had to stop at the kitchen. William being hungry? I never would have suspected…. It doesn’t even look like this boy eats.
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“Just give it time. Im sure its just a stupid little thing. They wont last long. Just act like yourself.” Ryan whispered to me by the bunks.
“Ryan, that’s not upsetting me” Lied. I was lying to everyone, including myself. I would tell myself I only loved Jenna as a friend everyday. Ryan knew I was lying too. I looked down at the floor, not able to look at him.
Ryan just shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder, smiled and walked out to talk to the rest of the guys.
I sighed and sat down on Jenna’s bunk. She had a picture of her and me from after a show we did in Las Vegas last year. The picture was hilarious and I loved it. Jenna was dressed as a showgirl because she had to take a dancer’s spot in our show that night, and a few times after that. She was on my shoulders, and I was running down the street. I smiled and laughed a little remembering that night.
Jenna’s voice interrupted my reminiscing causing me to smile since she was here. My smile faded as soon as I heard Bill. I sighed and decided to go be social. Act like yourself.
How the hell am I going to do that?
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I hugged all the guys as I got on the bus. I quickly noticed Brendon wasn’t there, and I hoped he wasn’t somewhere by himself, being depressed.
I glanced back up to see Brendon standing there, smiling. I was so happy to see him smile again. I ran over and slid my arms around him. It felt so good to hug him.
“Brennnnnny!” I kissed his cheek and went and sat down on the couch by the guys.
William soon joined me, sitting next to me, his arm wrapping around me. I smiled and looked at Brendon, who stared blankly and then moved his eyebrows up and down and making “ohhhhh” sounds.
I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. “Don’t you guys want to do something fun?” We all looked over at Mike. “Well dontcha?” He put his arms out.
“I do” We all turned our heads to look at Brendon now. I, and I think everyone else in the room, thought Brendon would be the last one, if not even one, to respond to ‘having fun’ according to how he was acting today. He started the day off in a shitty mode, went to happy, back to shitty. I guess he was back at happy again. What was wrong with this boy? I am his best friend. Shouldn’t I know?
“What” Brendon spun the cap back onto his water bottle and looked at us like we all had twenty heads. I shrugged. “Nothing. Lets go!” I grabbed William’s hand and pulled him off the couch.
“Okay, I haven’t gone ice skating since the last time Brendon and I went, and I broke my wrist so… don’t make fun of me” I laughed as William helped me out onto the ice.
Ice skating was so weird. It seemed impossible to me that thin little blades would be able to support me and I would be able to balance on them. For some reason, I always thought the blades would cut through the ice and I would get stuck.
William finally coaxed me off the side off the rink and I started skating by him. I got the hang of it, and being like I am, challenged him to a race.
“Are you sure?” Bill raised an eyebrow at me. I stopped skating and stared at him.
“Am I sure? Psh… Let’s go Beckett” We were at one side of the rink and the idea was to get to the other side the fastest. I stuck my tongue out at William as Jon counted down.
“3…2…1..GO! Bill I pity you!” Jon laughed as we both flew past him.
I skated as fast as I could. I saw Brendon skating in front of me and started to panic. I knew I had to go around him, but at the speed I was going I don’t know how good this was going to turn out. I swerved, and all I heard was the smack my head made as it smashed off the ice.
“Don’t let her fall asleep!” I heard someone yell. I heard more skates approach where I was laying.
“Jenna” Someone’s cold hand brushed my face. I lazily opened my eyes to see William staring down at me, concerned along with the rest of the guys crowding around me.
“My turn didn’t go so good” I laughed a little and closed my eyes.
“No, no. Open them” I listened to William and my eyes dragged open again. “But Im really tired.” I whined and my eyes fell closed again.
“Jen, no. Open your eyes” William held my face in his one hand. “Ill go get one of those sleds so we can pull her off the ice” Brendon skated away. “Ill get ice!” Jon yelled.
“Thanks Bden, Jon…” I said lazily. “Okay, you probably have a concussion, so no sleeping. Got it?” William smiled a little.
“Got it” I said as my eyes dropped closed.
“Okay, obviously you don’t. Jen, come on” William laughed and poked my face again.
I had a killer headache, my body was aching, and all I wanted to do was sleep. No, scratch that, all I wanted to do was make William go away so he would stop keeping me from sleeping. Brendon and William picked me up and put me in the sled to get me off the ice. William kept poking my face every once in a while to make sure I stayed awake. About the third time he did it, I smacked his hand. “Ow!” He smiled down at me.
I felt my ice skates being removed and my sneakers replacing them. I picked my head up a little and Brendon was tying my shoes. “Thanks” I smiled a little.
“Put your head back down. Rest. But no sleeping” Brendon laughed and tied my other shoe. William walked over and kissed me.
“You okay?” He pushed some hair out of my face.
“Yeah. My head just hurts” I scrunched up my face. “And my back, and my legs, and everywhere” I laughed a little.
William picked me up and carried me out to the car. I laid on the backseat, my head resting on William’s legs. All of us, including myself, made fun of how uncoordinated I was sometimes. They all urged me to go to the hospital, but I thought of the chance that they would make me stay overnight and I hated hospitals. Hated them.
“I don’t wanna!” I whined and pouted, staring up at William. He stroked my hair. “But baby, you got hurt. Don’t you want to get better?” William said softly.
“Okay, Ill make a deal. If I start throwing up or getting dizzy, then hospital it is. Until then, no go” William finally agreed, after about an hour of debating.
William carried me onto Panic’s bus and put me in my bunk. “Im going to go. Now listen, tonight you cant sleep. I know, you’re tired, and I know exactly what you’re thinking right now; that Im not going to be here so how am I going to know if you sleep. Because Brendon here and the rest of the guys are going to keep a close watch over you. So no funny business.” William kissed me and said goodnight.
After William left, I stared at the picture of Brendon and me a year ago. I chuckled as I studied it. I was a little startled when I felt someone slid in next to me. I rolled over and smiled at Brendon.
“How you feeling?”
“Pretty good. I think the children’s liquid Tylenol helped” I laughed at not having the ability to swallow pills.
“Good” Brendon felt the back of my head, and the bump wasn’t that bad anymore, since Jon freaked out and got a huge bag of ice as soon as it happened.
“Not that bad” Brendon smiled. “Guess what? I think you can sleep in about an hour. Okay? Good?”
“Great” I yawned. I snuggled up next to Brendon and rested my head in the crook of his neck.
“Goodnight in an hour” I laughed.
“Goodnight, Jen.”
I LOVE:RyanRossLuver, and xCherryRossx ! Seriously, they're awesome.
Okay, sorry about the wait guys. Been a little busy. Anyway.... here it is! Hope you guys like it, since Im not sure if I do. But, Im not sure of anything anymore... ;] Enjoy!
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