Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It's Not The Life It Seems
I Mean This More Than Words Could Ever Say
9 ReviewsTeasing Frankie... is inevitable... being gay... is unacceptable. (rated for language/suggestive themes)
It’s Not The Life It Seems
[Chapter Nine – I Mean This More Than Words Could Ever Say]
Frank Iero’s Point of View (Still)
The coffee shop was familiar. Starbucks. There was a small fireplace in the corner of the store with several leather chairs around it. There weren’t a lot of people there, except for some college students studying with their little Apple laptops and iPods. There were some businessmen as well, standing in line, waiting for their drinks to be served. The entire store smelled like heaven, and what made it perfect was that Gerard was standing right next to me. The pain in my muscles had begun to subside, and I was sure I would feel better after a nice hot cup of coffee.
“What’ll it be sirs?” the Barista said smiling at us.
Gerard started, “I’ll have a grande house blend please.”
“Um… I guess a… venti caramel latte with whip cream?”
“Okay. That’ll be $7.08.” she took the money from Gerard and we walked off to wait.
“Whip cream?” Gerard laughed at me.
“Shut up! It’s good shit okay?” I defended myself.
“Fine. Just don’t blame me if you get fat.”
“I’m not going to.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Awww. Frankie you’re just so cute.” He smiled then laughed again.
Our drinks being served to us interrupted our conversation then. We went and added god knows how much sugar to our drinks, and took a seat at one of the little birch colored tables. I took a long sip of my coffee, enjoying the hot liquid running down my throat. I closed my eyes, tasting the coffee in my mouth. When I opened them, I had Gerard staring at me like I was an idiot.
“Shut up Gee.” I said.
“What? I didn’t say anything this time!”
“It was implied. I could see it in your eyes.” It was these types of arguments that made me think Gerard was just so adorable.
“Fine. You’re right. I was gonna say-”
I cut him off, “Don’t say it. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“You don’t wanna hear that I love you?” he smirked then made a cute little face.
“No… I didn’t mean it that way!” I hated when he teased me like this.
“Frankie… you don’t love me?”
“No Gee! I love you so much!”
“Don’t worry. I love you too.” He smiled at his triumph taking a drink from his coffee.
I did the same, then began to wonder to myself whether or not we were making a scene in the middle of the Starbucks. I knew I was just being paranoid, but I was afraid. I was afraid of a lot of things really. This city of ours, Belleville, wasn’t one of tolerance for homosexuality. In fact, this place was the worst in the entire state. They had thrown gay couples in jail; people had been murdered because of it. If you were gay, you shouldn’t be living here. I knew I had been bisexual since the ninth grade, when I got a little “excited” watching the tape for sex ed., the boy’s tape. Pretty stupid I know, but being gay wasn’t that bad. Also I knew, because every girl that I kissed, I never actually felt attracted to. I felt used by them, and I did enjoy it a little bit but now that I had kissed Gerard, it felt so much more real. I realized that I loved him more than I had loved anyone else in my life.
“We should get going…” I said taking the last drink of my coffee.
Gerard seemed to be concerned with something he saw out the window, staring intently out.
“Gee..?” I waved my hand in front of his view, “Earth to Gerard!”
“Oh-what? Sorry Frankie… what is it?” He apologized, taking my hands in his.
“I think we should get going now… it’s already 10:30.”
“Oh yeah you’re right. My parents must be worried sick.” We got up, my hands still tangled in his.
I tried to free myself, but I was obvious unsuccessful as Gerard continued to stare out the window. “What you looking at Gee?”
“Oh… um… it’s nothing. Let’s just go.” I could tell he was lying.
“Don’t lie to me Gerard. What is it? Really?”
“I just saw this um… couple.”
“Like us?”
“Yeah sorta… people spat at them and threw shit at them…”
“Seriously? In public?”
“Yeah…” he looked down for a second. “I-I just hate it when people do that y’know? It’s so… mean… okay well beyond mean but I mean… what if they were us? Things would still be the same. People like you and me are never accepted damn it and it just…”
I cut him off once again, “I know what you mean… I’ve known I was bi since ninth grade, and I guess only now is when I really don’t like it.”
“You shouldn’t hate it Frankie. It’s who you are and no one can change that.” He smiled at me.
We continued to walk down the street together, getting dirty looks from a bunch of people along the way to Gerard’s car. I felt watched and unsafe this way, but I knew I was truly happy. We got on the road, and were going to Gerard’s house just because mine wasn’t exactly the best place to be. As we got to the house, I saw Gerard’s brother sitting on the couch watching TV.
“What the hell Gerard? Where’ve you been all night?” Mikey asked not looking up from the screen.
“I’ve been out. Is mom and dad home?”
“No, they’re out looking for you. They probably went to the police by now…”
“Shit…” he cursed under his breath.
“Oh and why is Frank Iero here?” he added
“Um.. we have a class assignment together.” Gerard lied for me.
I smiled and waved, “Hey Mikey.”
“Gerard… can I talk to you in the kitchen… alone?” he glared at me and I made a face.
“Uh… if Frank doesn’t mind then sure.” He turned and looked at me.
“No problem… go ahead.” I rolled by eyes and shooed them away.
I was kinda pissed that Mikey did that. Couldn’t he have at least waited until I left or something? I trailed close, trying to hear their conversation. I knew it was about me, and I mean… I wanted to know what they were saying about me.
“What are you doing Gerard, hanging out with that Iero kid?” Mikey yelled at his brother.
“Mikey, it’s not like I have a choice who’s my partner or not okay?” Gerard retorted.
“Fine. But why is he at our house? Couldn’t you go to his?”
“No… um… we just couldn’t okay?!”
“Psh… Gerard, you’re a really bad liar, don’t you know that by now?” Mikey scoffed.
“Shut up Mikey. Mind your own business.”
“Y-You’re not gay with Frank are you?” Mikey stuttered.
“Uhh… no..?” Gerard’s voice was shaky.
“I knew it!”
“Shut the fuck up!”
“I knew it from the start Gee! You’ve always been a filthy closet faggot! Why’d you suddenly decide to come out now? Huh? Why?” Mikey laughed hysterically.
“Will you just shut your fucking mouth Mikey?! It’s none of your damn business!”
They continued to scream at each other, and I took a seat on their light grayish-blue sofa. I put my head in my hands, and didn’t know what to do. Why was Mikey getting all pissy just cause his only brother was gay? Fucking homophobe. I thought to myself. Minutes later, Gerard emerged, his face stained with tears. I gave him a confused look, then he went to, what I assumed was his bedroom, down the hall and slammed the door. Mikey came out next, with a smug little grin on his face, shooting a sly look at me before taking his coat and leaving.
I got up and knocked on the wooden door of Gerard’s room. “Gee? Please let me in. Please?” I begged.
There was no answer, but I let myself in anyways. His room was a lot like mine, except much darker. There was only a small window, but his bed sheets were dark blue and black, and the floor was littered with paper and pencils and some t-shirts and a pair of jeans even. Gerard sat on the bed, his back turned to me, sobbing into his arms.
“Gerard…” I approached him. Putting my arms around him and sitting behind him, I stroked his ebony hair. “Don’t cry Gee… It’s okay…”
“No Frankie… fuck, it’s not okay!” he cried frantically. “Don’t you get it? I’m a mother-fucking faggot! I don’t deserve to fucking live!”
“If you’re like that, then what does that make me?” I asked him softly.
“No… I’m sorry… but you-you’re bi… at least you can still fall for girls… I’m fucking gay. I suck balls Frankie, that’s what I do.” He continued to cry.
“Don’t blame yourself Gerard… it’s not like we-I-you… had a choice… it’s just how god had made us… right?” I tried to comfort him.
“I-I guess you’re right… but still…”
“What did your brother say to you exactly?” I questioned.
“H-He’s a homophobe Frankie… he hates people like us… he said that I should go suck your cock. He said t-that I might as well die, cause mom and dad… they’d never accept me… they’d fucking disown me if they knew!”
“Gerard… you of all people. Weren’t you the one who hated people like that? Seriously man… don’t let your little bro get to you. Like you said, ‘It’s who you are and no one can change that.’”
I kissed his temple lightly, cradling him in my arms. I could tell that in his eyes he was petrified of his parents and the consequence if they found out. I wiped his tears with my jacket and then looked at him for a second. Our eyes met in a gaze, and he forced out a small smile that crept upon his lips. He mouthed a ‘thanks Frankie’ before holding my face in his hands and working his cool, soft lips against mine. I smiled while kissing him, enjoying the moment. My tongue ran into his mouth, just far enough to collide with his. I closed my eyes and just relaxed, loving what was happening. He broke off first, a little bit out of breath, but he eyed me shyly. I smiled sheepishly, feeling so out of place.
“Gerard… I love you.” I whispered to him.
“I love you too Fr-” he was cut off before he could finish saying it.
“There they are mom and dad… I told you.” Mikey said in triumph. “Gerard… you fag.” He spat.
I gave him a confused look, and then I searched his eyes for an answer.
“Gerard Arthur Way.” His dad scolded in a deep, stern voice. His mother was crying on his dad’s shoulder beside. “Mikey, you be quiet. Leave. I need to speak with your brother... alone.”
Mikey left, and I feared for the worst.
____________________________________
[insert dramatic music here]
Hey guys... I know I love to leave you hanging and all but... haha yeah it's good form. =p Plus I'm not exactly great at writing really serious conversations and crap. It's not in my personality. I hope you guys liked the update and I'll post more this weekend or maybe even this friday... if I get some love-filled reviews/ratings :D. Any problems with the storyline so far? Suggestions will be taken seriously. Well yeah. I'm sorry for making Mikey sound like a total bitch. Oh and yes I love the fluff ^^. TTYL. s2
~Rayy
[Chapter Nine – I Mean This More Than Words Could Ever Say]
Frank Iero’s Point of View (Still)
The coffee shop was familiar. Starbucks. There was a small fireplace in the corner of the store with several leather chairs around it. There weren’t a lot of people there, except for some college students studying with their little Apple laptops and iPods. There were some businessmen as well, standing in line, waiting for their drinks to be served. The entire store smelled like heaven, and what made it perfect was that Gerard was standing right next to me. The pain in my muscles had begun to subside, and I was sure I would feel better after a nice hot cup of coffee.
“What’ll it be sirs?” the Barista said smiling at us.
Gerard started, “I’ll have a grande house blend please.”
“Um… I guess a… venti caramel latte with whip cream?”
“Okay. That’ll be $7.08.” she took the money from Gerard and we walked off to wait.
“Whip cream?” Gerard laughed at me.
“Shut up! It’s good shit okay?” I defended myself.
“Fine. Just don’t blame me if you get fat.”
“I’m not going to.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Awww. Frankie you’re just so cute.” He smiled then laughed again.
Our drinks being served to us interrupted our conversation then. We went and added god knows how much sugar to our drinks, and took a seat at one of the little birch colored tables. I took a long sip of my coffee, enjoying the hot liquid running down my throat. I closed my eyes, tasting the coffee in my mouth. When I opened them, I had Gerard staring at me like I was an idiot.
“Shut up Gee.” I said.
“What? I didn’t say anything this time!”
“It was implied. I could see it in your eyes.” It was these types of arguments that made me think Gerard was just so adorable.
“Fine. You’re right. I was gonna say-”
I cut him off, “Don’t say it. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“You don’t wanna hear that I love you?” he smirked then made a cute little face.
“No… I didn’t mean it that way!” I hated when he teased me like this.
“Frankie… you don’t love me?”
“No Gee! I love you so much!”
“Don’t worry. I love you too.” He smiled at his triumph taking a drink from his coffee.
I did the same, then began to wonder to myself whether or not we were making a scene in the middle of the Starbucks. I knew I was just being paranoid, but I was afraid. I was afraid of a lot of things really. This city of ours, Belleville, wasn’t one of tolerance for homosexuality. In fact, this place was the worst in the entire state. They had thrown gay couples in jail; people had been murdered because of it. If you were gay, you shouldn’t be living here. I knew I had been bisexual since the ninth grade, when I got a little “excited” watching the tape for sex ed., the boy’s tape. Pretty stupid I know, but being gay wasn’t that bad. Also I knew, because every girl that I kissed, I never actually felt attracted to. I felt used by them, and I did enjoy it a little bit but now that I had kissed Gerard, it felt so much more real. I realized that I loved him more than I had loved anyone else in my life.
“We should get going…” I said taking the last drink of my coffee.
Gerard seemed to be concerned with something he saw out the window, staring intently out.
“Gee..?” I waved my hand in front of his view, “Earth to Gerard!”
“Oh-what? Sorry Frankie… what is it?” He apologized, taking my hands in his.
“I think we should get going now… it’s already 10:30.”
“Oh yeah you’re right. My parents must be worried sick.” We got up, my hands still tangled in his.
I tried to free myself, but I was obvious unsuccessful as Gerard continued to stare out the window. “What you looking at Gee?”
“Oh… um… it’s nothing. Let’s just go.” I could tell he was lying.
“Don’t lie to me Gerard. What is it? Really?”
“I just saw this um… couple.”
“Like us?”
“Yeah sorta… people spat at them and threw shit at them…”
“Seriously? In public?”
“Yeah…” he looked down for a second. “I-I just hate it when people do that y’know? It’s so… mean… okay well beyond mean but I mean… what if they were us? Things would still be the same. People like you and me are never accepted damn it and it just…”
I cut him off once again, “I know what you mean… I’ve known I was bi since ninth grade, and I guess only now is when I really don’t like it.”
“You shouldn’t hate it Frankie. It’s who you are and no one can change that.” He smiled at me.
We continued to walk down the street together, getting dirty looks from a bunch of people along the way to Gerard’s car. I felt watched and unsafe this way, but I knew I was truly happy. We got on the road, and were going to Gerard’s house just because mine wasn’t exactly the best place to be. As we got to the house, I saw Gerard’s brother sitting on the couch watching TV.
“What the hell Gerard? Where’ve you been all night?” Mikey asked not looking up from the screen.
“I’ve been out. Is mom and dad home?”
“No, they’re out looking for you. They probably went to the police by now…”
“Shit…” he cursed under his breath.
“Oh and why is Frank Iero here?” he added
“Um.. we have a class assignment together.” Gerard lied for me.
I smiled and waved, “Hey Mikey.”
“Gerard… can I talk to you in the kitchen… alone?” he glared at me and I made a face.
“Uh… if Frank doesn’t mind then sure.” He turned and looked at me.
“No problem… go ahead.” I rolled by eyes and shooed them away.
I was kinda pissed that Mikey did that. Couldn’t he have at least waited until I left or something? I trailed close, trying to hear their conversation. I knew it was about me, and I mean… I wanted to know what they were saying about me.
“What are you doing Gerard, hanging out with that Iero kid?” Mikey yelled at his brother.
“Mikey, it’s not like I have a choice who’s my partner or not okay?” Gerard retorted.
“Fine. But why is he at our house? Couldn’t you go to his?”
“No… um… we just couldn’t okay?!”
“Psh… Gerard, you’re a really bad liar, don’t you know that by now?” Mikey scoffed.
“Shut up Mikey. Mind your own business.”
“Y-You’re not gay with Frank are you?” Mikey stuttered.
“Uhh… no..?” Gerard’s voice was shaky.
“I knew it!”
“Shut the fuck up!”
“I knew it from the start Gee! You’ve always been a filthy closet faggot! Why’d you suddenly decide to come out now? Huh? Why?” Mikey laughed hysterically.
“Will you just shut your fucking mouth Mikey?! It’s none of your damn business!”
They continued to scream at each other, and I took a seat on their light grayish-blue sofa. I put my head in my hands, and didn’t know what to do. Why was Mikey getting all pissy just cause his only brother was gay? Fucking homophobe. I thought to myself. Minutes later, Gerard emerged, his face stained with tears. I gave him a confused look, then he went to, what I assumed was his bedroom, down the hall and slammed the door. Mikey came out next, with a smug little grin on his face, shooting a sly look at me before taking his coat and leaving.
I got up and knocked on the wooden door of Gerard’s room. “Gee? Please let me in. Please?” I begged.
There was no answer, but I let myself in anyways. His room was a lot like mine, except much darker. There was only a small window, but his bed sheets were dark blue and black, and the floor was littered with paper and pencils and some t-shirts and a pair of jeans even. Gerard sat on the bed, his back turned to me, sobbing into his arms.
“Gerard…” I approached him. Putting my arms around him and sitting behind him, I stroked his ebony hair. “Don’t cry Gee… It’s okay…”
“No Frankie… fuck, it’s not okay!” he cried frantically. “Don’t you get it? I’m a mother-fucking faggot! I don’t deserve to fucking live!”
“If you’re like that, then what does that make me?” I asked him softly.
“No… I’m sorry… but you-you’re bi… at least you can still fall for girls… I’m fucking gay. I suck balls Frankie, that’s what I do.” He continued to cry.
“Don’t blame yourself Gerard… it’s not like we-I-you… had a choice… it’s just how god had made us… right?” I tried to comfort him.
“I-I guess you’re right… but still…”
“What did your brother say to you exactly?” I questioned.
“H-He’s a homophobe Frankie… he hates people like us… he said that I should go suck your cock. He said t-that I might as well die, cause mom and dad… they’d never accept me… they’d fucking disown me if they knew!”
“Gerard… you of all people. Weren’t you the one who hated people like that? Seriously man… don’t let your little bro get to you. Like you said, ‘It’s who you are and no one can change that.’”
I kissed his temple lightly, cradling him in my arms. I could tell that in his eyes he was petrified of his parents and the consequence if they found out. I wiped his tears with my jacket and then looked at him for a second. Our eyes met in a gaze, and he forced out a small smile that crept upon his lips. He mouthed a ‘thanks Frankie’ before holding my face in his hands and working his cool, soft lips against mine. I smiled while kissing him, enjoying the moment. My tongue ran into his mouth, just far enough to collide with his. I closed my eyes and just relaxed, loving what was happening. He broke off first, a little bit out of breath, but he eyed me shyly. I smiled sheepishly, feeling so out of place.
“Gerard… I love you.” I whispered to him.
“I love you too Fr-” he was cut off before he could finish saying it.
“There they are mom and dad… I told you.” Mikey said in triumph. “Gerard… you fag.” He spat.
I gave him a confused look, and then I searched his eyes for an answer.
“Gerard Arthur Way.” His dad scolded in a deep, stern voice. His mother was crying on his dad’s shoulder beside. “Mikey, you be quiet. Leave. I need to speak with your brother... alone.”
Mikey left, and I feared for the worst.
____________________________________
[insert dramatic music here]
Hey guys... I know I love to leave you hanging and all but... haha yeah it's good form. =p Plus I'm not exactly great at writing really serious conversations and crap. It's not in my personality. I hope you guys liked the update and I'll post more this weekend or maybe even this friday... if I get some love-filled reviews/ratings :D. Any problems with the storyline so far? Suggestions will be taken seriously. Well yeah. I'm sorry for making Mikey sound like a total bitch. Oh and yes I love the fluff ^^. TTYL. s2
~Rayy
Log in to rate and review this story